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good hearted (i.e. 
generous and compassionate). 
These are the basis 
of a child's virtue. Any other 
goodness in which 
the parent can train their child, are 
all well and good 
and will add to the parents' pride 
in their child. 
B.1 Before Conception 
The parent must be both physically 
and mentally 
prepared to bring a good child into 
the world. For 
Buddhists, physical preparation 
alone is not sufficient 
because our human being consists 
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not only of 
a body, but also of a mind: 
necessitating careful spiritual 
preparation for parents. The 
knowledge which 
Buddhism gives to `would be' 
parents goes far beyond 
the frontiers of even modern 
medical science. 
According to Buddhist Teachings, 
each and every 
creature has their own individual 
kamma (i.e. storehouse 
of potential results of good and bad 
deeds 
performed in the past). According 
to the Buddhist 
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proverb (S.i.227):
YAdisaO vappate bEjaO 
TAdisaO harate phalaO 
KalykkalcArt kalyAAaO 
PApakArE ca pApakaO 
One reaps the fruit from the (type 
of) seed 
one sows: lovely out comes from 
lovely actions, 
ugly outcomes from ugly actions. 
Buddhist teachings also show that 
those who have 
done good deeds will be reborn in 
heaven after 
dying from the human realm, and 
when he is reborn 
in the human realm, he will be 
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born to wealthy 
and morally proper parents. A 
person who has performed 
a lesser amount of merit, when 
being reborn 
into the human realm, will be born 
to a less 
wealthy or even poor family, 
according to the degree 
of his merit. The being always 
carries its past 
merits with it, even between births, 
and this merit 
has a determining effect on who its 
next parents 
will be. A being awaiting rebirth 
into the human 
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realm will be born to parents with 
a level of merit 
equal to its own. It cannot be born 
to parents whose 
merit is greater or less than its 
own. Therefore, in 
order to bring a child into the 
world that is good, a 
156 A Manual of Peace: 38 Steps 
towards Enlightened Living 
'would be ' parent must perform as 
many meritorious 
deeds as possible, by making 
donations, keeping the 
Five Precepts and, most 
importantly, by meditating 
regularly. The result of such 
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meritorious action 
will be to attract a being with a 
good level of merit 
to be born into their family. By 
these very actions, a 
`would be' parent prepares 
themself spiritually, 
ready to be a good father or mother 
— pure in body, 
speech and mind, beautified by the 
wisdom of 
meditation and ready to welcome 
the birth of a child 
perfect in personality and 
Dhamma. 
In the time of Luang Phaw Wat 
Paknam there was 
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a merchant who came to Luang 
Phaw Wat Paknam 
complaining that for many years 
he had being trying 
to have a child without success. 
Luang Phaw 
Wat Paknam asked him what sort 
of child he 
wanted. He said he wanted a good 
and virtuous 
child who was rich. He wanted a 
handsome child 
too. Luang Phaw Wat Paknam said 
that whatever 
you want your child to turn out 
like you have to 
make yourself as good as you want 
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your child to 
be first — like a blueprint. Then he 
meditated to 
see which angel was about to run 
out of subtle merit 
(and die from heaven) who had 
those sort of characteristics 
and would suggest which mother 
and 
father had a matching level of 
merit to be their new 
parents. If soldiers wanted a brave 
child then Luang 
Phaw Wat Paknam would give 
them the same advice 
to make themselves brave first of 
all. 
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Some people might wonder why in 
some cases 
good children seem to be born to 
parents who are 
horrible and cruel and why good 
parents sometimes 
have horrible children or idiots. 
Such cases don't 
mean that the Law of Karma has 
its exceptions, but 
first we must understand all of the 
causes and effects 
coming into play. It is like 
breaking through 
the net. 
Supposing there is the case that a 
certain mother 
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and father are good but they have 
an awful child. 
The circumstances for the birth 
might go something 
like this . . . supposing on the 
father's birthday all 
his friends assemble at his house to 
wish him a 
happy birthday. He thinks, "when 
in Rome you 
must do as do the Romans". 
Usually he never 
touches alcohol but on this 
occasion he makes an 
exception and opens a bottle of 
wine for all his 
friends. As the host he feels 
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compelled to take the 
first sip of wine before passing the 
bottle on to his 
friends. A second sip follows the 
first and before 
long he feels slightly drunk 
(because he is not used 
to it). It happens that that very 
night is the night 
that he conceives a child. At the 
time both parents 
happen to be drunk, a being 
seeking to be born, a 
being with the karma of 
drunkeness in the past, 
finds just the right pair. Into the 
womb it goes and 
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the (usually) good couple get 
themselves a baby 
that is going to grow up with the 
habits of a drunkard. 
The moral of the story is, if you do 
good deeds, 
do good deeds consistently and 
don't open the opportunity 
to mistakes. Thus for a couple who 
have 
been good the whole of their lives 
but slip up for a 
single day, they might have to 
spend the rest of their 
lives bringing up a mentally 
handicapped child or 
a child that is mute. 
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On the other hand there may be 
really terrible 
parents that have a good child. In 
Thailand of course 
there are some of the worst robbers 
and murderers. 
However, before they go out to do 
their duty 
they will always ask for the 
blessing from the Triple 
Gem so that they can do their duty 
in safety. 
When they have accomplished 
their crime, again 
they ask the blessing of theTriple 
Gem to protect 
them from the police. In their 
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wicked heart, there is 
still a glimmer of goodness. 
Sometimes, especially 
in a Buddhist country, although 
they are thinking 
of evil almost the whole of the 
time, because the 
environment is an amenable one, 
there will be 
things to remind them of virtue 
from time to time 
(e.g. when they see a monk passing 
by, or there are 
sermons broadcast on the radio and 
TV). Thus 
sometimes when there is 
something to kindle the 
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glimmer of goodness to a glow in 
heart of a mother 
and father who are usually never 
interested in such 
things then there is a slight 
possibility that they may 
conceive a virtuous child. 
However the chance is 
really remote — not enough to pin 
your hopes on. 
B.2 From Conception to Birth 
Even two thousand five hundred 
years ago, the 
Lord Buddha's own mother, 
Queen MahAmAyA 
knew how to take painstaking care 
of both her 
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Blessing Twelve: Raising our 
Children 157 
physical and spiritual well-being 
while she was 
with child. The queen ate only 
agreeable foods and 
frequented the harmony of the 
natural environment 
as she came close to the time of 
childbirth. Queen 
MAyA also maintained purity and 
stillness of mind 
throughout pregnancy by keeping 
the Eight Precepts 
and meditating. It seems that for 
Buddhists, 
care of the child since conception 
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is an implicit part 
of the `art of motherhood', 
re-iterated anew in the 
present day when medical science 
is catching up 
with ancient knowhow...and 
seemingly coming to 
the same conclusions... 
The mother who keeps the fifth of 
the five precepts 
will need not worry that her child 
be under 
weight or handicapped at birth 
because refraining 
from alcohol, intoxicating drugs 
and cigarettes cuts 
out a significant proportion of the 
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risk in this respect. 
Even medicine taken by the 
mother, may have 
side effects for the unborn child, 
and medicines 
taken should therefore only be 
those prescribed by 
the family doctor. 
Consideration of physical health 
alone is not sufficient 
— the mother needs to be 
spiritually healthy 
too, so that the child to be born is 
perfect in mind 
as well as body. Modern medical 
science has shown 
that the embryo is sensitive to its 
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mother's moods 
and emotions. Indeed, during the 
time of being carried 
in the womb, the child is in the 
process of character 
formation. The art of having a 
good child is 
acknowledged these days, not to be 
merely a matter 
of genetic engineering, but of the 
suitability of 
the intra-uterine environment 
created by the mother 
during pregnancy; it is the key to 
raising one's children 
from the time of conception. 
For this reason, the pregnant 
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mother, the mother 
should attempt to keep her mind 
calm, undisturbed, 
stable and cheerful during the time 
of pregnancy. 
There is no end to the practical 
ways in which the 
mother can help the character of 
the child in the 
womb. While she is carrying the 
child, the mother 
should imagine pictures of how 
she would like her 
child to turn out. She should speak 
and sing lullabies 
to the child in her womb. She 
shouldn't worry 
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