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of our own recklessness, if it 
happens that such 
recklessness is not in our nature, if 
a friend is 
true, they will intervene and help 
— if they leave 
us to our recklessness you can 
know that they 
are an enemy in a friend's guise; 
2. help protect our property even 
when we neglect 
it: such is the behaviour of a true 
friend; 
3. be our refuge in times of 
danger: willingness to 
let us rely on them is the sign of a 
true friend; 
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4. not abandoning us in times of 
trouble: this is the 
sign of a Good Friend 
[kalyAAamitta]; 
5. show due respect to other 
members of our family: 
friends who not only show us 
respect, but 
also respect those to whom we 
have debts of 
gratitude, our children and 
grandchildren as if 
they were part of their own family 
— are indeed 
true friends. 
All five duties of a friend are 
identifying features 
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of a truly Good Friend — if we 
ever have the luck 
to come across such a genuine 
friend, we must take 
care to associate closely with them, 
treating them 
with respect, in keeping with the 
Buddha's advice: 
"associate with them respectfully, 
like a mother to 
her sons" 
It is pertinent to observe that such 
a genuine 
friend could only arise in the world 
as the result of 
an amenable environment (see 
forthcoming Blessing 
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Four), especially those in whose 
company they grew 
up, in order for the good habits of 
those people to 
46 A Manual of Peace: 38 Steps 
towards Enlightened Living 
have brushed off on him and been 
preserved in his 
own personality. It is such people 
that society and 
nation alike are crying out for —
because such a 
person has tremendous power of 
virtue stored up 
inside them — sufficient power to 
channel the tide 
of society and economics around 
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him down the 
same virtuous path. 
E.3 What are the consequences 
when there are 
no Wise Ones to be found? 
If there are no genuinely wise ones 
to be found in 
society or if those posing as 'wise' 
fail to cherish 
others according to the advice of 
the Buddha, many 
sorts of harm arise on individual, 
interpersonal and 
social levels. Many of the potential 
problems can 
be extrapolated to the relationship 
between government 
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and the citizens it is supposed to be 
a refuge 
too. If the government fails to be a 
Wise Friend 
toits citizens, it the false friendship 
brings serious 
problems on a national level. In 
conclusion, the 
harm that arises when there is lack 
of association 
with the wise manifests itself on 
three levels: 
I. Losing a sense of responsibility 
for their own 
human dignity: If friends lack 
self-discipline and 
don't fulfil their duties towards 
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one another as 
prescribed by the Lord Buddha, the 
first level of 
disaster which will happen to them 
is that they 
will lose their sense of 
responsibility for their 
own human dignity — this loss 
giving rise (at 
the minimum) to the following 
three undesirable 
symptoms: 
1. Breaking the Five Precepts: 
Because there is an 
atmosphere of mutual suspicion, 
former 
friends will deceive and lie to each 
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other. The 
pledges of allegiance they formerly 
kept to 
one another will be nullified in the 
way often 
seen in political circles; 
2. Chronic False View: Lacking 
discretion as to 
right and wrong, virtue and 
misdeed, appropriate 
and inappropriate and the Law of 
Karma, there is nothing they will 
not do as a 
means to procure power, money 
and personal 
profit; 
3. Mistreats Friends: They might 
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resort to back 
stabbing of former friends in order 
to procure 
personal ends; 
2. Losing a sense of responsibility 
for the human 
dignity of others: If friends lack 
self-discipline 
and don't fulfil the duties towards 
one another 
prescribed by the Lord Buddha, the 
second level 
of disaster which will happen to 
them is that they 
will lose their sense of 
responsibility for the human 
dignity of others 
this loss giving 
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rise (at 
the minimum) to the following 
three undesirable 
symptoms: 
1. Harbours bias: They will lose 
their sense of fairness 
and will be continually biased in 
favour 
of their own cronies — not with 
altruistic 
thoughts for even their own 
people, but in 
order to pave the way to personal 
profit; 
2. Disloyalty to homeland: Out of 
selfishness and 
False View, they will become 
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narrow-minded 
and unrefined in their thinking. All 
they will 
think about is how to maximize the 
profits 
they can procure for themselves 
and their cronies 
— to the point they will no longer 
have 
any sense of loyalty to their own 
country, religion 
or nationality — they wouldn't 
feel any 
scruples about making a profit, 
even if they 
have to destroy the national 
heritage to do so; 
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3. Misuse of rank or position: 
When they lack any 
accurate sense of justice, they will 
attempt to 
make illegal dealings look legal or 
outlaw legal 
things, if it suits them to do so. 
3. Losing a sense of responsibility 
for economic 
fairness in society at large: If 
friends lack selfdiscipline 
and don't fulfil the duties towards 
one 
another prescribed by the Lord 
Buddha, the third 
level of disaster which will happen 
to them is 
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that they will lose their sense of 
responsibility 
for economic fairness in society at 
large — this 
loss giving rise (at the minimum) 
to the following 
three undesirable symptoms: 
1. Corruption: When false view 
and selfishness 
get the better of their thinking, 
they will worship 
money alone — because they 
understand 
that the more money they have, the 
more 
power they can gain. Money will 
be the means 
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that they can secure the any 
position of authority 
they hold (through bribery). 
Blessing Two: Associating with the 
Wise 47 
2. Implicated in dealings with the 
Six Roads to Ruin: 
When money becomes important 
above all 
else, they will have no scruples 
about taking 
shortcuts to find it. Of course the 
most profitable 
forms of trading are dealing in 
drugs, forgeries, 
arms smuggling or casinos — the 
fact 
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that they are illegal or exploit the 
poorest sectors 
of society — considerations which 
mean 
nothing to those so far alienated 
from 
thoughts of fairness in economics; 
3. Betrays homeland: if such 
people find themselves 
in positions of legislation, because 
of 
selfishness and False View, if they 
can make a 
`quick buck' from foreign 
investors, they will 
not think twice about waiving laws 
which formerly 
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protected their country from 
foreign 
exploitation. 
The problems of lack of 
association with the Wise 
can be summarized down to two 
main points: 
I. Obvious social problems: In 
countries such as 
Thailand, social problems which 
are out of hand 
are high-level corruption, partiality 
of the legal 
system, degeneration into vice and 
widespread 
prostitution; 
2. Covert social problems: The 
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covert social problems 
exist in the form of False Friends 
in positions 
of influence — whether it be 
positions in 
politics, the civil service, 
government utilities 
who have less than scrupulous 
behaviour. Unfortunately 
what the people see of such public 
figures — an image of 
respectability and chivalry 
— often belies illicit dealings 
behind the 
scenes. Such false friendship has 
its origins in 
undisciplined parental upbringing, 
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undisciplined 
schooling and eventually, having 
become 
a fool, seeking the company of 
other fools is the 
final nail in the coffin of true 
friendship. 
Possible solutions to these 
problems are: 
1. In the short term are to avoid 
voting those with 
the character traits of `false 
friends' into positions 
of authority; 
2. In the long term are to use the 
nets of `sixteen 
characteristics of true friends' and 
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`sixteen characteristics 
of false friends' to identify and 
replacing 
the weaknesses in yourself with 
virtues starting 
with yourself 
associating with 
the wise so 
that their good virtues can brush 
off on you too. 
F. VARIETIES OF WISE ONES 
F.1 Inner teacher, outer teacher 
Broadly speaking, there are two 
categories of the 
wise — the outer wise ones and 
the inner wise ones. 
The outer wise ones can be 
subdivided into the wise 
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who are truly wise and those who 
are not truly wise. 
The truly wise are start with the 
Lord Buddha, the 
arahants and those who have 
attained the various 
levels of Buddhist sainthood. The 
wise who are not 
truly wise are those who are as 
wise as or wiser 
than us. Examples of these are 
monks who truly 
train themselves in meditation. 
Even though such 
monks may not be arahants, they 
come up to the 
standard of a wise man. You 
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