EFTA01160176

Russia they don't 
even know how to make a rope!" 
"In that case,"said 
the Czar, "let us prove the 
contrary," and he tore 
up the pardon. The next day 
Ryleyev was hanged 
again. This time the rope did not 
break. Morale: 
Once the words are out, you 
cannot take them back. 
Keep them under control. Be 
particularly careful 
with sarcasm: The momentary 
satisfaction you gain 
with biting words will be 
outweighed by the price 
EFTA01161256

you pay. 
D.4 Ex. NandivisAla JAtaka 
(J.28) 
A tale which has become most 
famous as one of 
;Bops' Tales, in fact originates 
from the JAtaka Tale 
of NantivisAla, the ox which 
pulled 100 carts for a 
wager. This young ox was 
miraculously strong ever 
since it was born and so the owner 
had the ox pull 
100 carts. When he found that the 
ox could pull the 
carts, the owner made the ox's 
ability subject to a 
EFTA01161257

wager to a millionnaire who didn't 
believe it. However, 
when it came to the time to prove 
the bet, the 
master said, `Go ahead and pull the 
carts, ox!'. Because 
the ox didn't like the direct 
language it refused 
to move. Even oxen have feelings. 
Thus the 
owner lost the bet. Later the owner 
made a second 
bet, spoke politely to the ox and 
won the wager 
making a profit. 
D.5 Ex. MaOsa JAtaka (J.315) 
There were once four sons of a 
EFTA01161258

millionnaire who 
wanted to compare their skills of 
persuasion and 
competed with each other in 
asking for meat from 
the cart of a butcher. When the 
four brothers saw 
the butcher's cart they thought to 
themself that they 
would like to eat some meat and 
they decided to 
see who could persuade the 
butcher to give them 
some meat. 
The first son shouted out to the 
butcher,"Hey 
butcher! Bring me some meat!" 
EFTA01161259

The butcher was a 
kindly man and he said "Of course 
but because your 
words are not sweet to my ears" he 
threw the boy 
some trotters. Everybody asked 
him why he gave 
the boy trotters and he replied that 
trotters are tough 
and have no taste just like the 
words of the one who 
had requested them. 
The second son said, "My brother! 
Please give me 
some of your meat to eat." 
Because the second son 
had had the respect to call him his 
EFTA01161260

brother then he 
cut off some choice meat to give to 
him. 
The third son said, "Oh my father! 
Please give 
me some of your meat to eat." 
Because the third 
son had had the respect to call him 
his father he cut 
the heart out of an ox to give to 
him. 
The fourth son said, "My friend! 
Please give me 
138 A Manual of Peace: 38 Steps 
towards Enlightened Living 
some of your meat to eat." The 
butcher heard his 
EFTA01161261

words and felt pleased. He said 
that when our 
ages are so similar like this, it is 
closest to the 
truth to say that we are friends. To 
call me `father' 
is too much. To call me `friend' is 
the most 
appropriate. So with those words 
he gave the 
whole of his cart to the fourth son. 
The fourth 
son was true to his word and took 
the butcher to 
his house. He said if you have this 
much generosity 
to me then I will be generous to 
EFTA01161262

you too —
come and live here if you like 
I 
have a reasonable 
amount of wealth to my name 
therefore if 
any of your friends are in distress 
just tell me and 
I will help. Well, it turned out that 
the butcher 
had a few unpaid debts so he was 
able to pay all 
those off. The fourth son was a 
friend to the 
butcher for the rest of his life. 
This is the benefit accrued to the 
fourth son who 
didn't speak harshly, or 
EFTA01161263

patronizingly but appropriately 
to the truth of the situation. 
Blessing Ten: Artfulness in Speech 
139 
The Fourth 
Group of Blessings 
"Harmony in the Family 
Life" 
The fourth group of blessings 
contains Blessings Eleven to 
Fourteen. 
Nearly all of these concern how 
we take care of our close family 
and therefore the grouping is 
EFTA01161264

sometimes referred to as 
"Harmony 
in the Family Life". Nested 
between Group III concerning 
"Setting Oneself up in life" and 
Group V concerning 
"Becoming a 
pillar of society", it is obvious 
that harmony at home is 
something 
we have to get right if we are 
truly to be of use to society at 
large. It 
is many an important 
businessman who has not 
EFTA01161265

managed to go as 
far as he ought in his career 
because of being upset or 
unfulfilled in 
his family life. This does not 
mean that it is necessary to have 
a 
husband or wife and children to 
make a success in one's life —
but 
if one does have one's own 
family, than one has to fulfil 
one's duty 
to them properly. In any case 
one must fulfil one's duty to 
EFTA01161266

one's 
parents. 
140 A Manual of Peace: 38 Steps 
towards Enlightened Living 
Blessing Eleven: Cherishing our 
Parents 141 
A. INTRODUCTION 
A.1 Introduction to Blessing 
Eleven 
As we shall see for this blessing on 
cherishing our 
parents, much more than for 
cherishing husband, 
wife or children, the factor of 
"gratitude" is very 
important. According to Buddhist 
EFTA01161267

definition, "gratitude" 
is an active virtue and to be 
fulfilled, should 
be practised in all of the following 
stages: 
1. Appreciating our Debt of 
Gratitude to Our Parents 
[kataliriE] 
2. Repayment of our Debt of 
Gratitude to Our Parents 
[katavedE] by: 
1. repaying our debt of gratitude to 
our parents: 
physically and spiritually both 
before they 
pass away and after death too 
2. Announcing the Goodness of 
EFTA01161268

Our Parents 
Only when we have done all of 
these components 
of gratitude can we be said to have 
fulfilled this 
eleventh Blessing — and the 
remainder of the discussion 
in this blessing describes the 
practicality of 
putting all three components in 
practice. In some 
Buddhist literature, practising such 
duties is known 
as `filial piety'. 
B. WHY SHOULD WE WANT 
TO CHERISH 
OUR PARENTS? 
EFTA01161269

B.1 Rationale 
When we start out in our career of 
self-development, 
it is not obvious what goodness is. 
In the initial 
blessings, we have had to orientate 
ourselves 
to virtue without really knowing 
what virtue is —
let alone being able to identify 
virtue in ourselves. 
In the beginning, even to be able to 
associate with 
good people is a blessing, because 
some of their virtues 
might brush off on us too. In the 
beginning we 
EFTA01161270

might not be aware of the virtues 
in ourselves — it 
being much easier to perceive the 
virtues of others. 
The Buddha intended us to take a 
hard look at our 
own parents who have done so 
much for us — because 
everyone has parents and everyone 
has received 
benefit at their hands. Thus, for our 
parents more 
than for others, virtue will be easy 
for us to identify. 
If we are able to recognize, repay 
and announce 
the goodness of our parents, our 
EFTA01161271

familiarity with 
such virtue will become all the 
stronger. Later when 
we are able to see the good in our 
parents, we will 
be able to see the good in others. 
When we are able 
to see the good in others we will be 
able to see the 
good in ourselves and develop it 
further — according 
to the techniques found in the 
higher blessings. 
Unless we are sensative to a 
greater or lesser extent 
to the goodness other people 
express to us, we have 
EFTA01161272

little chance of increasing the 
sensitivity to the goodness 
that lies within ourselves. There is 
no-one in 
the world who has done as much 
for one as one's 
parents, so if one is unable to 
respond to the good 
they have done one, then it is 
unlikely that one will 
be able to perceive good in 
anything else at all. If 
our debt of gratitude to our parents 
is as large as 
this and we are unable to see it, 
that shows that we 
must be severely blinded to the 
EFTA01161273

good of others. 
Blessing Eleven: 
Cherishing our 
parents 
142 A Manual of Peace: 38 Steps 
towards Enlightened Living 
B.2 Taking care of our parents is 
the most 
fundamental of virtues 
Repaying the debt of gratitude to 
our parents is such 
a fundemental virtue, that the 
people of old used it 
as a benchmark for judging 
strangers. Sometimes 
EFTA01161274

one has to know someone for a 
long, long time before 
one can really say we know such a 
person in 
depth. However, if you meet 
someone for the first 
time and you find out that they 
neglect their parents, 
you can be sure that they are 
unlikely to have 
any interest in helping anyone less 
closely related. 
B.3 We will be cared for by our 
children 
If you recognize and repay the debt 
of gratitude 
you have to your parents, apart 
EFTA01161275