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tree. Monkeys 
eating the fruit would accidentally 
touch the sticky 
wood and its hand would get stuck 
firmly to the 
wood. Next it would try to pull the 
wood off using 
its other hand — but the other 
hand would get stuck 
to the wood as well. Accordingly, 
it would try to 
kick its hands free with one foot 
but its foot 
would get stuck to the wood. Of 
course, it would 
try to kick its hands free with the 
other foot — but 
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its other foot would get stuck to 
the wood as well. 
There was only one more thing it 
could do — to try 
to bite itself free. It would try to 
bite the wood, but 
its mouth would get stuck to the 
wood. Finally, it 
would roll around in a ball on the 
ground and wait 
for the hunter to come and collect 
it. When talking 
of falling in love, people are no 
more sensible than 
birds or monkeys. The expression 
on the face of the 
trapped monkey and the expression 
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on the face of 
a jilted lover are exactly the same . 
D.2 Ex. Mallika Sutta (S.i. 75) 
Queen Mallika was the favourite 
queen of King 
Pasenadi of Kosala — and a 
woman renowned for 
her wisdom. One day the king 
asked his queen, 
"Who do you love the most in the 
world?" In his 
mind he wanted the queen to 
answer, "You of 
course!" The queen answered after 
a great deal of 
deliberation, "I have been thinking 
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about your question 
and I observe that all the animals 
in the world 
love themselves above all others 
— and I think that 
I am just the same!" 
D.3 Ex. Death of VisAkhA'S 
grandchild 
(DhA.iii.278f1) 
VisAkhA had been a 
stream-enterer [sotApana] since 
the age of seven. As a 
stream-enterer she had attained 
the DhammakAya and had seen 
the Four 
Noble Truths in the physical body, 
but not yet in 
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the angelic body or any of the 
higher ones. Her attainment, 
as with all stream-enterers was to 
be able 
to uproot three of the ten fetters 
[saOyojana] in her 
mind, namely: 
I. False view of self-view 
[sakkayadiEEhi] 
2. Doubt [vicikicchA]: meaning 
specifically 
doubt concerning the action of the 
karma. 
3. Belief in Superstition 
[sElabbata-paramAsa]: 
belief in ritual and superstition. 
The other seven forms of fetters 
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including sensual 
desire [kAmarAga] in her mind 
had still not been 
Blessing Thirty-Six: 
Sorrowlessness 407 
destroyed or uprooted. When 
VisAkhA was a young 
woman, she married. She had ten 
sons and ten 
daughters — a total of twenty 
children in all. Because 
she had so many children, before 
long she 
had a lot of grandchildren. One 
day, her favourite 
granddaughter DattA died. Even as 
a stream-enterer, 
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she forgot herself and went crying 
to the Buddha. 
The Buddha asked, "VisAkhA, 
you once wished 
your children and grandchildren to 
fill the whole 
of SAvatthE, didn't you?" 
"That is correct," said VisAkhA. 
"Do you know how many people 
day each die in 
the town of SAvatthE?" 
"Some days ten people, some days 
nine, some 
days eight, some days seven, some 
days six, some 
days five, some days four, some 
days three, some 
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days two, some days one — at 
least one person dies,
each day in SAvatthE," said 
VisAkhA who had a 
good general knowledge of her 
town. 
"When there is a death every day 
in SAvatthE, it 
is better that you save your tears 
because otherwise 
you will have someone to cry for 
every day." With 
the help of the Buddha's reminder, 
VisAkhA realized 
that the more love you have for all 
your children, 
the more tears you will have to 
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shed when 
they die. 
D.4 Ex. UrAga JAtaka (J.354) 
When the Buddha was still 
pursuing Perfections 
as the Bodhisattva, he was born as 
a Brahmin 
farmer. At that time he enjoyed a 
harmonious family 
life. He had a young son and a 
young daughter. 
Later, his household expanded 
with the addition 
of a son-in-law and a servant. 
One day he was ploughing in a 
field some distance 
from his home together with his 
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son, who was 
weeding and burning the weeds. 
The bonfire made 
a lot of smoke — some of which 
went into the burrow 
of a snake. The snake could not 
breath so it 
came out of its burrow and bit the 
son. By the time 
the father realized, his son was 
already dead from 
the poison. 
Normally a father would cry at the 
death of his 
son, but for the Bodhisattva, he 
saw that there was 
nothing more he could help with, 
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so he continued 
to plough the field. A neighbour 
passed the 
Bodhisattva on the way to the 
homestead and the 
Bodhisattva told him to give the 
message to his wife 
that she should only send one 
portion of food for 
the packed lunch that day instead 
of two. When 
those at home received the 
message, they guessed 
what had happened. All of them 
came rushing to 
the field and saw the son lying 
dead. However, like 
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the Bodhisattva, the mother, sister, 
wife and servant 
did not cry, but helped to cremate 
the son. 
As they were cremating the corpse, 
an old Brahmin 
with a radiant complexion 
appeared from nowhere 
and asked, "Whose body is this 
you are cremating?" 
"My son's," replied the 
Bodhisattva. 
"Normally a father must cry at the 
death of his 
son — or at least his mother or 
sister or wife or servant 
must cry." 
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"We have our reasons for not 
crying," explained 
the Bodhisattva and he continued," 
because when 
the life of someone's body is 
expended it is like a 
snake which must slough off an 
old skin. I see my 
son as no more than a snake 
shedding its skin. 
Therefore I have no sorrow. My 
son will have another 
life ahead of him - if he has been 
good he 
will have a good birth. If he has 
done evil he will 
have an unfortunate birth. Even if I 
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were to cry, it 
would make no difference to my 
son's afterlife destination." 
The father was not crying because 
he 
didn't love his son, but because he 
could love him 
but also let go. 
The mother did not cry either. She 
said, "When 
my son was born, no-one invited 
him to come. 
When he left us, he didn't say 
farewell. He has gone 
in the same manner that he came. 
When this is the 
reality, what is the point of crying 
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over spilt milk. 
Even if I were to cry, my son 
would have no way of 
knowing — because he has already 
gone elsewhere." 
The little sister didn't cry. She 
said, "If I were to 
cry it would just spoil my looks. It 
would just make 
me ill so they would have to waste 
time looking for 
a doctor. It would just make me 
emaciated for no 
good reason. It would just increase 
the worries of 
the rest of the family — so why 
cry? No-one is going 
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to be any happier as the result of 
my crying." 
408 A Manual of Peace: 38 Steps 
towards Enlightened Living 
The wife said, "There is no more 
use crying than 
there is use in a child crying for the 
moon that has 
set on the horizon. Even though we 
have come together 
for this cremation, it doesn't make 
any difference 
to the feelings of the deceased 
because he 
has already gone wherever he must 
go." 
The servant said, "You cannot pick 
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up the pieces 
of a broken pot and make it what it 
used to be. In 
the same way, it is no more use 
crying over a dead 
body — do we think it would bring 
them back to 
life again? He has already gone 
wherever he must 
go." 
Even the servant had a metaphor 
and an explanation 
for her lack of sorrow 
so how 
could they 
train themselves to think like this? 
It turned out that 
wherever the brahmin farmer went, 
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he would teach 
his wife and children and even his 
servant, 
"You should make the recollection 
of death habitual. 
You have to think of death 
habitually because 
death is for sure. Life is not 
certain. Our 
aggregates are not permanent and 
they are of a 
nature to decay. Therefore you 
should never be 
reckless towards the accumulation 
of merit both 
by day and night. Make 
recollection of death 
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your habit." 
It turned out that on that occasion, 
the old man who 
had come to ask them the 
questions was Sakka, the 
king of heaven in disguise. 
In the case of the Brahmin farmer, 
the whole of 
the family looked upon death 
without any sorrow 
because they recollected death 
habitually. The recollection 
of death will have the effect of 
minimizing 
the number of things in life that 
will cause us 
sorrow. If you do your morning 
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and evening chanting 
on a daily basis you will remember 
the words 
at the end of the evening chanting: 
`We are of a nature to age, we 
have not gone 
beyond aging; we are of a nature to 
sicken, we 
have not gone beyond sickening; 
we are of a 
nature of a nature to die, we have 
not gone beyond 
dying;' 
If you do your chanting with true 
recollection every 
day and sit for meditation too, you 
will soon find 
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