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world, they should avoid 
absent-mindedly falling 
in love and life will be that much 
easier. 
Possessive love doesn't just refer 
to people, but 
loving anything to the point you 
become attached 
— whether it be your house or 
your car. Anything 
that has anything to do with love is 
like a thorn 
that one day will produce sorrow. 
In spite of our common sense, and 
in full awareness 
of the perils of falling in love 
however, circumstances 
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sometimes get in the way of our 
better 
judgement. Many women decide 
they could better 
use their time devoting their time 
to their work or 
to their spiritual development, but 
they cannot 
stand be labeled an `old maid' by 
their relatives so 
half-heartedly go looking for love. 
Some parents 
want to put an end to their 
responsibility for looking 
after their children so they rush 
them to get 
married. 
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0t, 9nuq IiIm noic ot 9 noi noX ji 
!8 MI lips jo sainse9tu 
0g a n1 1 'pm noic og 9 noi noic ji 
!2uu lj ns jo s0Jnsi atu 
09 9 A1q [um noic 09 9 noi noX ji 
!8 MI Isuns jo sainsi9u 
OL a Ae1 'pm noic oz, 9 noi noic jl 
!2uu lj ns jo s9nsi atu 
08 9 ne1 Illrn noic 08 9 noi noX ji 
!8 MI Isuns jo sainsi 9tu 
06 9 AeI HIM ttO1c 06 9 noi noX ji 
!2uu tuns jo s9nisi atu p9Jpunq 'I 
9 AI q Him noX 
(um pp) paipunq u a noi noX ji„ 
4q2nI i. I qppng 
`3AOT aAISSaSSOd 01 1109eIal LI1IM 
'140.1.108 JO a刀?aj au z' I 
EFTA01163518

)notwA曳 aq 
Illm uosJ3d E qDns '8umi.人tie ) oqe 
8tatojjns 
0A℃q 1ou HI/ i noic uoqrn D11O-O11 pur 
8unpou D noT no C 
ji '8uliosuns jo (s)oJnst out 1一乙一￡ 
一＇0M q -rum no/C 
'magi. Jo T一乙一￡一t onoT noX J1 
!8uuojjns Jo somsvotu 
g 0M q 'pm
人g 0noT noA J1 
!8uuojjns Jo somsvout 
0 1 DAeq Illm noA 0I onoT noX J1 
!8uuojjns Jo samst 
Oz 0A q 
ttO人 0z 0noT noX J1 
!8uuojjns Jo somsvout 
OE 9 m q IBM no ( O￡ 0 noT noX J1 
!8ulnjjns Jo samst 
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suffering and without regrets as to 
their life. 
In fact the existence of suffering, 
despair and 
sorrow in the world is only brought 
about because 
of the love we have for physical 
things. 
When there is no further physical 
thing that we 
love (be it our body, people, 
animals or possessions) 
there will be no further suffering, 
despair 
and sorrow. Whosoever can put 
aside their love 
Blessing Thirty-Six: 
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Sorrowlessness 405 
for such physical things will attain 
happiness 
in this world. Those who wish to 
evade sorrow 
in this world would be better to 
avoid falling 
in love with the physical things of 
the world." 
Ud.(verse 176) 
If you want to conclude in more 
colloquial language: 
The more your possessive love, the 
more the 
sorrow. The less your possessive 
love, the less 
the sorrow. If you have no 
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possessive love, 
there will be no sorrow. The more 
your possessive 
love, the more the tears. The end 
of 
possessive love is the end of tears. 
C. PRACTICES FOR 
MINIMIZING SORROW 
The minds of those who have 
already attained Nirvana 
(i.e. those who have already 
attained the 
DhammakAya Arahant) will be 
insulated from sorrow. 
For those who have attained the 
DhammakAya 
GotrabhE, for as long as they can 
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maintain their 
mindfulness, they will not 
experience sorrow. However, 
even with such a high attainment, 
such people 
cannot keep their mind in Nirvana 
twenty-four 
hours-a-day. There will be times 
when their 
mindfulness is disturbed and they 
will be left vulnerable 
to sorrow. It is only the arahant 
who is sheltered 
from sorrow for the whole of the 
time. For 
the anAgAmE, sakidAgAmE and 
sotApana, the protection 
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is not continuous. Sorrowlessness 
lasts for 
only as long as they can maintain 
full mindfulness. 
Strictly speaking, on the subject of 
`sorrowlessness' 
in this Blessing, there is not much 
left to 
say. It is a result that arises as the 
result of coming 
to an end of defilements. However, 
for those who 
are not yet arahants, there is still 
much to be learned 
from sorrowlessness because if we 
know enough 
we can reduce our vulnerability to 
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sorrow for the 
things we already love and we can 
avoid exposing 
ourselves to sorrow for the things 
we do not yet 
love thereby . . . If you don't yet 
have transcendental 
attainment at your disposal — not 
to fear — there 
are still behavioural and attitudinal 
changes you 
which you can use to reduce your 
liability to sorrow. 
As mentioned in the introduction, 
we cannot escape 
the eight vicissitudes of the world 
— but sorrow 
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is something we can choose to 
avoid. In fact 
we could choose to walk away at 
any time but, most 
people fail to make that choice. 
The thought to cultivate 
oneself towards enlightenment has 
not even 
occurred to most people. Some are 
even afraid to 
practice meditation in case their 
defilements run 
out. They are afraid they will have 
no love left for 
anyone in the world any more —
which is rather a 
misunderstanding of the true 
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meaning of love. They 
pin all their hopes on the happiness 
of marriage, 
only later to be disappointed. Thus, 
if you want to 
take the choice to reduce your 
sorrow, if you still 
love things, you should try to 
reduce such attachments 
before you experience the resulting 
sorrow. 
What can you do though, if your 
mind still feels 
the need to love things? There are 
several ways: 
I. Distinguish between possessive 
love and true 
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love: you should cultivate true 
love while avoiding 
possessive love as much as 
possible. It is not 
that Buddhists cannot express 
appreciation for 
things or people they like — but 
you should not 
allow your attraction for things to 
err into the 
possessive form of love. The surest 
way to know 
that love has started to become 
possessive is that 
it will tend to disembody your 
mind (especially 
by causing your mind to be drawn 
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further and 
further away from the centre of 
your body); 
2. Love yourself truly: This is not 
an invitation to 
egoism — but instead of loving 
other people, 
why don't you try loving yourself 
instead? If you 
love yourself a lot, then you have 
to express your 
love for yourself. The best way to 
express love 
for yourself is to put effort into 
doing the maximum 
of wholesome deeds for yourself 
by: 
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Avoid the evil things you have not 
yet done; 
Give up evil things you have 
already done; 
Start doing the good things you 
have not yet 
done, and; continue doing the good 
things 
you have already started to do; 
3. Meditate regularly: You should 
also meditate a 
lot and in that way you will be less 
likely to be 
caught in the sticky glue of 
passion; 
4. Cultivate self-discipline: By 
keeping the Five 
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叛OIJOS 
pioxe O1 litem noX Tipp 
no人ji snqI 
u Jo an 0m SMOPOS qons 
U1O.1J UOT1001aid 
JO POS I,S0CI 
'SI,OOi SI,1 龚 MOT 
3AISS0SSOd JO 
ssouppps am I, noX puiq 隼qI, sop 
3琅爵O MaiII1 
Oi. p p1S i. ame aq ITTAN no/c sI,clooom 
I,q8II 3琅 
C133111'80 noK 'J0/1O3.1OW ’3AO1 
onissossod inoiC 
wog &limo smoinuipq temospue 
8 u？
paual
U旦sp.mmai 
8d9J8RE 
I,00I,
'advacifo PinuvIl V 9017 
luau mosinoX 
OI, o i oq 
no/C sI,clooai d 
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you should 
be quick to ordain! 
5. Recollect death and cultivate 
mindfulness of 
body: By recollecting death and 
cultivating 
mindfulness of the deterioration of 
the body, it 
will gradually reduce the tendency 
of the mind 
to thirst for sensual stimulation. If 
you practice 
the recollection of death habitually 
it will help 
you in your practice of meditation 
because it will 
stop your mind becoming distant 
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from your 
body. It will allow you to escape 
from the trap of 
the senses. If you are in love, then 
your mind is 
fixated on something external to 
the body for 
long periods of time. However, if 
you recollect 
death habitually, it will release 
your mind from 
the attachment to love and because 
you consider 
the state of yourself, it will teach 
your mind to 
stay habitually within your body, 
instead of continually 
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being hungry for new sorts of 
sensual 
stimuli. Thus if you ask the real 
reason for organizing 
funerals, in fact it is not the 
occasion 
for people to get together to cry 
tears of sorrow 
— but as the occasion for everyone 
to recollect 
on the implications of death for 
themselves. Instead 
of being sorry for the deceased, in 
future 
we can train ourselves to be sony 
for ourselves 
instead. 
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With the help of these practices, 
even though you 
are not yet an arahant, your mind 
will be better centred 
within the body and less easily 
enamoured by 
attraction for things that must 
eventually lead to 
sorrow. 
D. ILLUSTRATIVE 
EXAMPLES 
D.1 Metaphor: Monkey-trap 
In the olden days hunters had an 
ingenious way to 
catch monkeys. They would leave 
a piece of wood 
covered in glue lying next to a fruit 
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