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self-improvement —
they may have an ulterior motive. 
Not to be able to 
distinguish between the openness 
to criticism and 
`pseudo' openness to criticism can 
potentially be very 
misleading. Thus when dealing 
observing our own 
or others' responses to criticism, 
we should make a 
clear distinction between the 
negative and positive 
sorts of openness to criticism: 
1. Materially-motivated: some 
people make themselves 
very obsequious because they seek 
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for 
something material in return. Why 
are some children 
so obedient? You will see why 
after they 
receive the legacy from their 
parents. Once received 
if they lose their original 
obsequiousness, 
it is a sign that they were only 
obedient for the 
money. Some people are stubborn 
by nature, but 
they will change their tune 
whenever they are 
close to influential people (but 
only for as long 
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as they have the chance of being 
promoted). Really 
such people are not open to 
criticism — they 
are only compliant to your face but 
behind your 
back they will behave differently. 
2. The gullible: Such people look 
compliant and 
obedient but the reason is not 
through intention. 
They are obedient because they 
lack any intelligence 
to think for themselves. Usually 
they lack 
any initiative of their own and will 
do anything 
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they are told to do. You might 
chase them off to 
school, and they will obediently 
listen to the 
teacher for hours at a time without 
understanding 
a word. If you tell them to go to 
school they 
go. If a friend tells them to skip 
school then they 
play truant. They will do whatever 
the last person 
they meet has told them to do. 
They tend to 
lack any aim in life because they 
lack the wisdom 
to see the need for one 
in fact 
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they lack 
any confidence in themselves. 
3. Spiritually motivated: only this 
last category are 
such people who want to improve 
themselves 
without limit. Thus any criticism is 
taken as treasure 
that will help them towards the 
goal of perfection. 
Only this last category is open to 
criticism 
for purposes corresponding to the 
Manual 
of Peace. 
Thus in practice, if you have those 
close to you, or 
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subordinates who seem to be 
compliant and obedient, 
you need to ask yourself what 
motivates them 
to be so. Is it because they want to 
run off with your 
daughter? If this is the case, as 
soon as they get her 
hand in marriage, they might never 
lift a finger to 
help you again. So be careful not 
to be fooled by 
such behaviour. 
C. STUBBORNNESS 
C.1 Categories of stubbornness 
There are basically three categories 
of stubborn people 
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in the world: 
I. stubborn because of ignorance: 
their intelligence 
doesn't allow them to see the value 
of the advice 
they are being given. Sometimes, 
they might not 
only be ignorant — they may be 
too lazy to 
change. For such people it is not 
worth devoting 
too much effort to encouraging 
them to change. 
Such people are stubborn without 
realizing it. 
2. stubborn because of 
intransigent views: In fact 
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they are very intelligent people, 
but only intelligent 
in the materials they have studied. 
There 
may be many more things that they 
do not yet 
know or understand. They don't 
realize the limits 
of their knowledge or the gaps in 
their experience. 
They think they already know 
everything 
there is to know. Many such 
people have high 
IQ and always get the best results 
in the class. 
Such success gives rise to the 
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feeling that `I'm 
the cleverest and beyond 
criticism'. Such people 
get their first class honours degree, 
but when 
they try to apply their talents in the 
workplace 
may die in the effort. They are 
unable to accept 
advice from anyone else so those 
who have the 
Blessing Twenty-Eight: Openness 
to Criticism 315 
potential to help them `leave them 
to their ignorance'. 
They leave them to learn from 
their own 
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mistakes. Such people will meet 
with disaster, 
as the result of their own inability 
to listen to 
others. 
3. stubborn because 
short-tempered: these will lose 
their temper upon hearing the 
slightest thing 
they disagree with. It is very hard 
to eke any sort 
of cooperation from such people. 
They are likely 
to cause disharmony in any group. 
We will further examine the 
practical ways of dealing 
with the first two sorts of 
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stubbornness in §D.3 
below. 
C.2 Reasons for stubbornness 
Some people think that training 
oneself to be sensitive 
to self-improvement should be 
simple. All you 
have to do is to stop being 
stubborn — but that is 
easier said than done. You have to 
ask yourself what 
is the root of the damage in a 
stubborn person. What 
is the reason for stubborness in 
people (so that we 
can get rid of it)? 
MahAmoggallAna Thera taught 
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in the AnumAna Sutta how sixteen 
possible sorts 
of traits can create stubbornness in 
the face of criticism 
(M.i.95-7): 
I. Determination to do evil 
[pApiccho hoti 
pApilcAnaO icchAnaO]: Some 
people will wish 
for success in the most evil things 
(like stealing 
Buddha images from temples or 
smuggling 
heroin). Such determination to do 
evil will 
make them evil for the whole of 
their life. It 
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sounds very extreme but even 
normal people 
suffer from it now and then when 
we think `just 
this once we'll make them sorry'. 
At that time 
the seeds of stubborness are 
creeping into the 
mind. 
2. Overestimation of oneself 
[attukaO sako hoti 
paravambhi]: When we think we 
are superior 
to everyone else, then again it is a 
root of 
stubborness. Again you will listen 
to no-one 
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3. Losing one's temper easily 
[kodhano hoti 
kodhAbhibhEto]: If you know you 
have this tendency 
then you must bite your lip if ever 
you 
are criticized in case you lose your 
temper with 
the person giving you advice 
or 
else you will 
have no second chance of a 
helping hand. 
4. Vengefulness [kodhano hoti 
kodhAhetu 
upanAhE]: Not only angry with 
others — but 
even long after the event still 
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harnessing a 
grudge for that person even though 
it is so long 
ago you cannot even remember 
who that person 
is. Thus, if you are angry, never let 
it last 
overnight. To be angry for no 
longer than it 
takes to drink a glass of cool water. 
5. Inability to control oneself 
when angry 
[kodhano hoti abhisalgE]: Not 
being able to 
control your gestures with your 
angry. e.g. 
stamping or tearing one's hair out, 
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or spitting 
or slamming doors. If you meet 
anyone like 
this don't waste time giving them 
advice. 
6. Those who have to have the last 
word if criticized 
[kodhano hoti kodhasAmantaO 
vAcaO 
nicchAretA]: unable to control 
what they say 
when criticized. 
7. Those who have an excuse for 
everything 
[cudito codakena codakaO 
paEippharati]: a 
person who is asked to sit politely 
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when in the 
temple will find an excuse for 
doing whatever 
they like, for example "If you want 
to learn the 
Dhamma you have to be 
comfortable in body 
and mind, so if I want to stretch 
my legs however 
I want, don't come interfering in 
something 
that is none of your business." If 
you 
meet such people, don't waste time 
trying to 
change their ways — however, if 
you recognize 
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the same habits in yourself, get rid 
of such 
habits without delay. 
8. Those who give others the 
brush-off [cudito 
codakena codaka0 apasAdeti]: 
Whenever 
someone tries to give such a 
person advice, 
they chase them away saying that 
they have 
no time to listen to such talk. 
9. Those who find a callous way 
of answering 
back [cudito codakena codakassa 
paccAropeti]: who will always 
find a way of 
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answering back to the person who 
gives them 
advice in a way that will hurt them. 
They will 
say something like, "Don't go 
worrying about 
me — use your time more usefully 
and worry 
about the state of your own 
husband." Instead 
of accepting advice and showing 
enthusiasm 
to follow it — they ignore the 
advice and go 
316 A Manual of Peace: 38 Steps 
towards Enlightened Living 
further by using the advice as the 
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excuse to hurt 
the person who has helped them 
with the best 
of intention. Or maybe, "I may 
have my weaknesses 
and faults but at least I manage to 
keep 
control of my own husband...". 
10. Those who change the subject 
to avoid speaking 
about the matter [cudito codakena 
aririen' 
arifiaO paEicaroti bahiddhA 
kathaO 
apanAmeti, koparica, dosarica 
appaccayarica 
pAtukaroti]: They cannot refuse 
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