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that the giving we do will bring the maximum of merit: 
L Pure Gift. The thing which we give must be 
something we have come by in an honest way or 
bought with money that is honestly earned; 
2. Pure Intention. A pure intention for giving means 
the intention to reduce the stinginess in your mind, 
or to reduce the number of defilements in the mind 
or cultivate your Perfection of Generosity or Loving 
Kindness. The Buddha also taught that if you want to 
gain the maximum of merit from a gift you must 
maintain the quality of the mind during three periods 
of time. Intentions which are not pure are giving 
with the wish for something in return e.g. giving for 
one-upmanship, giving to make yourself famous or 
giving to make someone else love us: 
1. before giving fpubbecetanAJ: make sure that 
you come to the act of giving wholeheartedly 
2. during the act of giving NuficanacetanAP 
give with respect and a mind full of faith and 
without any trace of irritability 
3. after giving raparAparacetanAt make sure that 
the mind is still joyous not regretting what you 
have given away. Some people go home and sit 
thinking, "Maybe I gave too much. Maybe I 
should ask the monk for some of it back!" 
3. Pure Recipient: The more pure the person re-
ceiving our gift, the more merit we will accrue. If the 
recipient is a layperson, they should be a layperson 
who keeps the Precepts. If they are a monk, they 
should be a monk who keeps the Vinaya, not just 
someone who is masquerading as a monk. If the 
monk is an arahant (i.e. has no further defilements) 
then he will be a supreme field of merit. 
4. Pure Given Even you as the giver must be 
keeping the Precepts. If you think of yourself as a 
receptacle for merit in the same way as a bowl might 
contain water, then you mustn't be like a leaking or 
dirty container (Precepts incomplete) or else your 
merit will leak away or be sullied. 
Nowadays, it is hard for us to earn enough money to 
both feed ourselves and to offer as donations —
therefore when we do come to have the opportunity to 
give donations, make sure that you possess all four of 
the factors mentioned above. 
D. WHO TO GIVE 
D.I Giving to an individual: 
The Buddha taught in the DakkhiAAvibhalga Sutta 
(M.iii.253) that the amount of merit from a gift to an 
insiiiidggh[ikadAna] is in proportion to the purity of 
the recipient. If you give food: 
to a humble animal it will give long-life [Ayu], good 
complexion [vaAAa], happiness [sukha], strength [bala] and 
intelligence [paEibhAAa] for no less than 100 lifetimes; 
2 
to a person who does not keep the Precepts your gift 
will give the same fruits for 1,000 lifetimes; 
3 
to a person who keeps the Precepts your gift will 
give the same fruits for 100,000 lifetimes; 
4 
to a hermit or ascetic outside the Buddhist monastic 
community who has attained some degree of mental powers 
your gift will give the same fruits for 10" lifetimes; 
5 
to a person who practices with the intention to train 
himself to become a stream-enterer, the fruit is countless; 
6 
to a person has actually attained sainthood at the 
level of stream-entry [sotApana] then the merit is even more; 
7 
to a person who practices with the intention to train 
himself to become a once-returner 
[sakidAgAmi] then the merit is even more; 
1 
to a person has attained sainthood at the level 
of once-returner [sakidAgAmi] then the merit is even 
more; 
2 
to a person who practices with the intention to 
train himself to become a non-returner 
[anAgami] then the merit is even more; 
10. to a person has attained sainthood at the level of 
non-returner [anAgami] then the merit is even more; 
IL to a person who practices with the intention to 
train himself to become an arahant then the merit is 
even more; 
IZ to a person has attained sainthood at the level 
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of arahant then the merit is even more; 
13. to a paccekabuddha 
then the merit is even more; 
14 to a fully-enlightened Buddha then the merit is 
even more; 
If you favour a particular person when you are making 
your donation, then you the amount of merit gained as 
the result of the gift will be reduced. Some people go to 
a particular temple and single out a particular monk for 
their attention. It is almost like something personal 
between the giver and the recipient. The giver feels that 
there must be something personal between themselves 
and a monk before they will give that monk any 
support. They will not help strangers. They might look 
down on monks of low rank. Their mind is rather 
narrow. Of course they still receive merit from their 
good deed, but it is slightly reduced from what it could 
be — because the merit in all of these categories of 
recipient cannot beat the merit from offering a gift to 
the community of monks. 
D.2 Offering to the monastic community 
Offering to the monastic community [saighadAna] 
means giving a gift which is not specific to any par-
ticular monk in a monastic community. Such a person 
does not mind who the monastic community delegates 
to receive a particular gift from them.Even if the 
community sent a novice to receive their gift they 
wouldn't mind. Their mind would be filled with faith 
before, during and after their making of the gift.The 
Buddha taught that anyone who is sufficiently 
broad-minded to support the Salgha in this way will 
receive countless merit. 
E. HOW MUCH TO GIVE 
E./ Duty of a Buddhist to support their religion 
The Buddha specified the duty of a Buddhist house-
holder towards members of the monastic community in 
the sixth of the "six directions" of the SilgalovAda 
Sutta, as follows: 
I. kindly acts towards the monastic community 
2. kindly words towards the monastic community 
3. kindly thoughts towards the monastic community 
4. by keeping an open house to the monastic 
community 
5. supplying the monastic community with their 
material needs 
In other words it is the duty of every Buddhist 
householder to perform acts of generosity towards the 
Salgha. The Buddha laid down the rule that monks 
must earn their livelihood by alms alone. Monks are not 
allowed to earn income by any other means. The 
Buddha's intention by this rule was that monks be able 
to devote their time to their real duties of study and 
meditation in order to be: 
I. pure in body, speech and mind and to be a worthy 
field of merit for the householders 
2. worthy teachers to the householders Of course the 
government could organize things so that people could 
support Buddhism out of their taxes in the same way the 
State finances the Church in many western countries, 
but because Buddhism has (like the Protestant Church) 
has always emphasized the importance of independence 
from "worldly" concerns such as political policy, the 
price of this freedom is that Buddhism must rely on the 
reciprocal relationship between monk and laity at a 
grassroots level which cannot be manipulated by any 
politician. By supporting the monastic community, the 
householders maintain the intactness of the Triple Gem 
for perpetuity — for the peace and harmony of society 
and the world at large. It is not difficult for 
well-intentioned householders to understand the 
importance of the first four duties of the householder 
towards the monastic community — however, in the 
society of the present day where even the media find it 
profitable to sensationalize the laxity of a miniscule 
minority of members of the monastic community — the 
repureussions are having a negative effect on the whole 
monastic community throughout the world. No small 
number of formerly dutiful householders exposed to 
such sensationalism have discontinued their support for 
the monastic community out 
of uncertainty as to which monks arc practising in 
earnest. 
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Thus it falls upon earnestly practising monks to 
co-operate in trying to salvage the tarnished image of 
the monastic community — because if the faith of the 
Buddhist laity is allowed further to deteriorate, 
eventually the laity will lose their understanding of 
Buddhist principles — becoming capable of heinous 
social crimes or of defecting to other religions. Such 
people will only add to the fragmentation and internal 
divisions which already exist in society. 
E.2 Managing your resources 
When we talk of generosity [dAnaJ in this blessing we mean 
giving those things which are surplus to our needs. Some 
people might doubt as to how much they really need or might 
be unable to distinguish between 'need' and 'want' and hence 
the Buddha gave guidance about how householders should 
budget their earnings so that their generosity is neither 
reluctant nor a burden on the family expenditure. The Buddha 
taught (/diya Sutta A.iiiA5) that the family budget should be 
divided into five as follows: 
I. one part to support the immediate needs of 
yourself, your parents, your children, spouse, 
servants 
2. one part to extend generosity towards your friends 
3. one part which should be saved in case of 
emergency (for example fire, flood, excess taxation, 
theft or extortion by malevolent relatives) 
4. one part which should be used for five sorts of 
dedication 
1. for one's extended family 
2. for hospitality 
3. for dedicating merit for the departed 
4. for taxes 
5. for dedicating merit to the things that you 
believe in according to your local custom 
(e.g. ascetics, animals, physical forces and 
elements, lower deities or higher deities de-
pending on your culture) 
5. one part to extend support to well-practising 
monks and ascetics The Buddha did not say that each 
part should be 
20% of your earnings, but he taught that you should 
budget for each of these sorts of expenditure. As for the 
"working capital" which you have built up for yourself, 
the 
Buddha 
taught in the 
SiigalovAda 
Sutta 
(D.iii.180ff.) that you should apply one-quarter of your 
earnings for your immediate needs, one-half should be 
reinvested in your business and the remaining quarter 
should be saved in case of emergency. It is up to each 
individual to decide how much of their income to use as 
"working capital" and how much to use for generosity. 
If you budget in this way, you will be able to practise 
generosity, giving neither too much nor too little. 
£3 Degree of Generosity 
As mentioned above, generosity usually refers to giving 
away what is excess to one's needs. Generosity thus 
trains one to overcome the tendency to want more and 
more without end — and to be able to distinguish 
between 'need' and 'want'. If you have a big plate of 
food and you know that half will be enough for you, to 
give the other half to a hungry friend is generosity 
[dAna]. However in some places such as the "Four 
Virtues of the Householder" [gharavAsadhamma] 
(S.i.215; Sn.I 89) the Buddha exhorted his householders 
to train themselves even to be willing to sacrifice their 
own convenience for the good of others. In such a case, 
a hungry man might forgo the whole of his large plate 
of food for the benefit of a friend who has eaten nothing 
for three days. Such giving is a more developed form of 
generosity known as "self-sacrifice" [cAga]. In pursuit 
of the perfection of generosity the bodhisattva 
cultivated self-sacrifice to the point he was willing to 
sacrifice all his material possessions, but also parts of 
his body such as blood and eyes [upa-dAna-paramitA] 
and his own life [paramatta-dAna-paramitA]. 
F. RESULTS OF GIVING 
F.1 Speed of Outcomes 
A final point about generosity concerns the reason why 
some people perform an act of generosity and receive 
the fruit of their deed immediately. For example, 
someone is generous and immediately comes into a 
fortune or is made king or attains en 
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lightenment. What is the reason? There is an additional 
factor in the performance of generosity which 
influences the swiftness with which the merit will give 
its fruit. If you look at the set of teachings 'the giving of 
a noble one' (SappurisadAna Sutta 
I72) you will 
find the answer. The Buddha taught that a noble man 
will give: 
I. with faith (i.e. with full faith in the favour-able 
outcome of a good deed): will bring the giver wealth, 
attractive and trustworthy appearancewith a good 
complexion; 
2. with respect: will bring the giver wealth and 
endowment with obedient children, spouse and 
servants; 
3. at the correct time; will bring the giver wealth 
and the wishes of the giver will come to fruition 
without delay; 
4. with the thought to help the recipient; will bring 
the giver wealth and higher enjoyment of the 
pleasures of the senses; 
5. without coming into conflict with yourself or 
others: will bring the giver wealth and protection of 
possessions from fire, flood, misappropriation by 
tax-collectors, theft and exhortation by enemies of 
malevolent heirs. 
F.2 Difference of fruit by difference of
 type 
Whenever we do generous deeds, we reduce the influence 
of greed in the mind, however the degree of the reduction 
will depend on the purity of the gift, the intention, the 
recipient and the giver. Apart from these factors, the fruits 
of ow giving is also influenced by the type of thing we 
offer is. To take the example some examples of offerings. 
The first five come from the KiOdada Sutta (S.i.32) — see 
table below. 
Therefore, if ever you have the opportunity to cultivate 
generosity, never let the opportunity pass by 
unanswered. Sometimes we think of waiting until we 
are more ready, but often if we wait until everything is 
ready, the opportunity is gone. 
G. ILLUSTRATIVE EXAMPLES 
al Proverb: MahApadayE Sutta (A.iii.50 
Those who give the things they like, are wont to receive 
things that they like; those who give the supreme, are 
wont to receive supreme things; those who give good 
things are wont to receive good things; those who give 
the ultimate are wont to attain the ultimate; persons 
who give the supreme, the good, the ultimate, will have 
long life and honour wherever they are born. 
Offering 
Example 
Fruit 
giving food giving cloth 
meal for monks robes for 
long-life, bright complexion, good health, strength, quickwittedncss 
or clothing giving 
transport giving light 
giving shelter giving 
monks vehicles, shoes, a lift, 
bust train fare candles, 
lanterns, fuel oil a place for the 
good complexion happiness outstanding eyesight everything! long-life, 
strength, security of personal property wishes will come true, lack of 
difficulty in times of shortage long-life intelligence, easy attainment of 
pemtanent property 
ume-limited giving 
night, a building buildings, 
trees receiving guests, those 
wisdom 
forgiving, giving life 
preparing to travel, first 
I., tying knowledge 
harvest forgiving others, 
extending the life of 
condemned animals, releasing 
fish a lecture, needed advice 
.1.% RI, E 15.1: 'HIE M ER I TO R I OUS FRUITS OF VARIOUS SORTS OF GENEROSITY 
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G.1 Metaphor: A burning house 
If our house catches fire, the possessions we can 
manage to salvage before it burns down will be all we 
are left with. In the same way, the possessions that are 
really our own, are those we can convert to merit by the 
power of our generosity in the space of our lifetime, 
before the fires of old-age, sickness and death burn up 
this impermanent body of ours. Dutiya Jana Sutta 
A.i.156 
G.3 Metaphor: Cow and Pig (trod.) 
The pig was jealous of the cow because the cow 
seemed to be very popular with everybody. 
Someone advised the pig,"Don't be jealous —
popularity is in proportion to one's generosity. The cow 
gives her milk daily to make butter and yoghurt and 
cheese". 
The pig was indignant saying,"Generous — I'm 
generous! Look at all the things mankind has to thank 
me for — my bristles make paintbrushes and my flesh 
makes all the pork dishes of the world." 
"Don't confuse the issue," said the advisor, "— all the 
things the cow gives, she gives while she is still 
living!" 
Ever wondered why the people who are only generous 
in their will are never very popular? 
G.4 a 
CEOasAtaka Brahmin (DhA.iii.002ff) 
There was once a couple who were so poor that they 
only had a loincloth each and between them they only 
had a single shawl. If the husband went out of the house 
with the shawl then the wife had to hide in the house. If 
the wife went out of the house, the husband had to stay 
home. They couldn't go anywhere together because 
they only had a single shawl between them. One day the 
husband went alone to hear the teaching of the Buddha. 
He was filled with faith and thought to offer the shawl 
to the Buddha. He took off the shawl, then thought of 
his wife at home and changed his mind. He listened to 
the sermon further until midnight and again he was 
filled with faith to offer the shawl — but when he 
thought of his wife, he changed his mind again. He 
listened to the sermon further almost until dawn and 
this time when he was filled with faith, he offered the 
shawl to the Buddha without any further 
hesitation, while exclaiming the words, "Cittame 
Cittame" meaning "I have conquered (it), I have 
conquered (it)." King Pasenadi was sitting nearby. If 
anyone shouts anything like this near a king, they will 
normally have their head chopped off— but the king 
was interested to know what he had conquered. The 
poor man said that he had conquered his stinginess. The 
king thought, "such a person is rare" and therefore set 
the man up in life with a standard of living fit for a 
millionaire.The man offered everything he had been 
given to the Buddha except for a shawl for himself and 
one for his wife. The king therefore gave the man even 
more possessions. 
In the morning the Buddha revealed to the rest of the 
monastic community that if the man had managed to 
conquer his stinginess since the beginning of the 
sermon, he would have been made four times as rich. If 
he had conquered his stinginess at midnight he would 
have been twice as rich. His hesitation had blunted the 
power of his meritorious intention. The Buddha 
concluded that if anyone ever has the faith to do a good 
deed, then they should quickly do that good deed 
before the intention is overtaken by stinginess. 
G.5 E.r. Sumedha Hermit (1130f) 
At the fruition of the ninth asaikheyya kappa of 
pursuing perfections the bodhisattva was born as a 
hermit called Sumedha. He trained himself in 
meditation until attaining magical powers — being able 
to fly through the air. One day he travelled in the air 
and saw all the people of a certain town building a road. 
He asked why they were building the road. They replied 
that the Buddha Dipalkara had already arisen in the 
world so they were creating a road to receive the 
Buddha. Sumedha the hermit asked permission to 
rebuild part of the road for himself, and the people of 
the town permitted him. They thought he would use his 
hermit's powers to magic the road to completion, so 
they gave him a piece of road that ran over a piece of 
subsided ground, with a deep hole in it. Sumedha 
wanted to cultivate generosity the 'hard way' in order 
to fulfil his Perfections so instead of using magical 
powers he started to mend the road by the 
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sweat of his brow. Consequently, he had not finished 
leveling his piece of road when the Buddha and his 
disciples reached the place. Sumedha thought, `the road 
I have built is not finished — never mind, only two 
metres remains — so I will lie down in the hole in the 
road myself. When the Buddha arrived, he bowed at 
the feet of the Buddha and invited the Buddha and all of 
his disciples to be his field of merit and allow him to be 
a human bridge for them all to traverse the unfinished 
piece of road. The Buddha and all the disciples walked 
over his body and instead of feeling aches and pains, 
Sumedha was filled with joy to have been of service to 
the Buddha. That was the lifetime in which the 
Dipalkara Buddha gave Sumedha the prophecy of his 
own Buddhahood that he would need to go on to attain 
full enlightenment four asalkheyya and 100,000 kappas 
later. It was also the lifetime that the bodhisattva 
recognized generosity as the foundation of all other 
Perfections (as mentioned at 5.4.3 above). 
G.6 EL Aputtaka millionaire (Main 76ff) 
One day in the time of the Buddha, King Pasenadi of 
Kosala (of SAvatthE) came for audience with the 
Buddha in the afternoon. King Pasenadi said that a 
miraculous thing had happened concerning a mil-
lionaire in his town. (Millionaires in our own time are 
simply rich people, but in those times `millionaire' was 
a title bestowed by a king, on wealthy economists. 
Some in those times may have been wealthy but if they 
had no knowledge of economics, they would not 
qualify for such a title. Millionaires had the duty to be 
patrons who would use their knowledge and their 
wealth to support the king in the development of the 
nation. They were almost like bankers of the present 
day.) A millionaire had died without heir so the whole 
legacy of the millionaire became national property and 
had been taken for storage in the palace. When the mil-
lionaire was alive he had been so stingy that he would 
not even allow expenditure to feed himself decently. He 
would survive only on rice husks and over-ripe fruit 
sold at clearance prices. He would wear only rag 
clothes — anyone who saw him couldn't believe he 
was a millionaire. He would not 
even buy soap so he always smelled from never 
washing. 
The King asked how such a person could be so rich but 
seemed unable to spend any money on himself. The 
Buddha looked at the previous lives of the man and told 
the king that in a previous lifetime, the man had 
donated 
food 
to 
a 
paccekabuddha. 
Arahants, 
paccekabuddhas and fully-enlightened Buddhas are so 
pure of mind that anybody giving a donation to any 
such will accrue a lot of merit On this particular 
occasion he had instructed his wife to offer food to the 
paccekabuddha and went to work. When he returned he 
found out that his wife had given all the best of their 
food to the paccekabuddha. He thought with regret, "If 
we had eaten that food ourselves, we would have had 
plenty to eat for many days. If we had given the food to 
our workers, they would have worked their hardest for 
us for many days." When the merit of the donation of 
food gave its fruit, he became a very rich man, but from 
his regret at a later time, he was always stingy in any 
expenditure for his own convenience. He was only able 
to use remnants because at that time when he regretted 
having offered food to the paccekabuddha, all he 
thought of giving the paccekabuddha was remnants. 
G.7 Ex Daddalla VintAnavatthu (Vv.48) 
In the time of the Buddha there were two sisters. The 
elder was called Patta and the younger was called 
Supatta. Both sisters did as many merits as they could 
throughout their lives. Patta intended to do more merits 
than her little sister. When Patta passed away, through 
the power of her merit, she was reborn as an awl and 
was born in the second level of heaven (TavatiOsa). 
Patta the angel wondered where her little sister had 
gone. Only much later did an angel of very bright 
complexion introduce herself as her former little sister 
who was now an angel in the higher fifth level of 
heaven (Nimmanaradi). Patta the angel was confused. 
She had always done many more merits than her little 
sister — how come she had a lower rebirth? Supatta the 
angel revealed that even though she had had less chance 
than her elder sister to make generous donations to 
monks, whenever she did make a merit 
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it was always a donation to the monastic community 
[sa]ghadAna] rather than the personalized merit 
[paEipuggalikadAna] offered by the elder sister. As the 
result of her donations, the elder sister's mind was not 
truly broad, and the merit she accrued was reduced. As 
for her little sister, although she had less opportunity to 
make merit, she always offered it with the 
thought; 'May my gift be received by any monk who 
practices in earnest — any monk who is a 
representative of the monastic community will do." 
Thus when the younger sister passed away, as a result 
of her mind being broader and having fewer biases in 
her understanding of Dhamma, she took a more 
fortunate rebirth than her sister when she passed away. 
G.8 Ex. Make Brahmin & his wife AmittatApanA 
.1.vi.521-4, 593 
Some people like to ask about the story of Vessandara. 
In that particular lAtaka,there is an evil man a hundred 
years old called JEjaka who has a young wife called 
AmittatApanA (aged 17). Some ask what this old man 
did to get himself a wife young enough to be his 
grandchild. AmittatApanA was someone fond of giving 
but instead of offering fresh flowers to the monks she 
would always offer only shriveled flowers. When the 
time came for her to many, then her husband was also 
old and shriveled. As for Jtjaka, he would always like 
to offer flowers to the monks that were fresh so when 
the merit gave its fruit the result was different. For a 
similar reason, if people habitually offer only sec-
ond-hand things to the monks, maybe they will always 
get a widow(er) for their spouse! 
G.9 Ex Bhattabhatika the woodcutter (DhA.iii.87ff) 
There was once a millionaire called Gandha Settht. 
who inherited a fortune — and considering that he 
would be unable to take it with him when he died, made 
every attempt to use up his wealth within his lifetime 
by every sort of extravagence. He would spend 100,000 
kahapanas each day alone on his own food. His 
extravagence became renowned and he would thus eat 
in public so that the peasants could come to watch what 
delicacies he would eat each day. One day a 
wood-cutter passed by and became so entranced by the 
millionaire's food that he realized he 
would die if he didn't get to taste such food. He pushed 
his way to the front of the crowd and begged the 
millionaire for a taste of the food. The millionaire 
refused, saying "If I give you a taste, the rest will be 
wanting one too." Instead the wood-cutter offered 
three-years of his work in the service of the millionnaire 
in order to earn a taste of such food, and the 
millionnaire agreed. 
At the fulfilment of three year's labour,the woodcutter 
(in the meantime nicknamed Bhattabhatika — "the one 
who labours for a meal"), was sitting at the table about 
to tuck in to the delicacies he had earned for himself. 
At that moment a paccekabuddha passed into view on 
almsround. Seeing the paccekabuddha, the woodcutter 
hesitated thinking: 
"that I have had to work three years for this meal 
must be because I am lacking in merit to find my-
self subject to such poverty. If I eat this meal 
myself it will only sustain me for a day, but if I 
offer it to the paccekabuddha, it will sustain me for 
ThElVablialliawfdered a large portion of the food to the 
paccekabuddha who then closed the lid of his bowl. The 
woodcutter appealed to the paccekabuddha to receive more 
food saying: "don't just help me for this lifetime — help me 
in the next lifetime too!" The paccekabuddha removed the lid 
of his bowl and the wood-cutter put all the remaining food 
into the bowl, while making the wish, "may this merit bring 
me happiness and success in every lifetime, may I know some 
part of the wisdom of this paccekabuddha". The 
paccekabuddha gave his blessing to the effect that the 
wood-cutter's every wish should be fulfilled. 
The onlookers for the wood-cutter's meal were inspired by 
the wood-cutter's generosity and how he had given 
something that was so hard to give. They applauded him 
so loudly that the millionaire came out to see what all the 
noise was about. He too was inspired by the wood-cutter's 
example and shared so much wealth with him that he too 
was to attain the status of millionnaire. 
He performed charitable works to the end of his days 
and was reborn as Sukha who ordained as a novice 
under SAripulta at the age of seven and very quickly 
attained arahantship. This is an example of "giving 
things of better quality than you would use yourself" 
[dAnasAmE]. 
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Blessing Sixteen: 
Dhamma Practice 
A. INTRODUCTION 
A.1 Purification in Buddhism 
On our path of self-development via the Manual of 
Peace there are many reasons on many levels of de-
scription why to purify oneself is attractive. 
• 
dilution of old bad karma with large 
quantities of new good karma: Supposing you compare 
the negative things in our past to a spoonful of salt and 
you compare the positive things in life to a container of 
water. Supposing you put the spoonful of salt in a glass 
of water — if you taste the water it will still have the 
On a personal level: it would be a rare person whciaity taste. If you put the same amount of salt in a 
isn't proud of the many strengths they consider they have 'Bucket of water you will find that the water still tastes 
their character — purification can be the way in which oneseity but less so. But what if you put a spoonful of salt 
builds and improves the strengths already in one's charade% a huge water tank? Now even if you taste the water, 
At the same time, if one knows oneself to have certain 
you will no longer be able to detect the salty taste —
weaknesses of character, by purification, one can overcomteven though the salt is still there. In the same way 
these weaknesses. 
although we may have things we have done in the past 
• 
On an interpersonal level: by purifying ourselvesvarieh we regret, we can start afresh in our lives by 
weaknesses and building on our strengths we can become rafting so many positive things in ow life that the old 
sort of person who others feel privileged to consider as a negative things become insignificant. 
friend 
• 
direct uprooting of the old bad karma 
• 
On a social level: purifying oneself can contribut9h9ough meditation: This method is described in the 
overcoming the weaknesses and inequalities that are often fRgher blessings of "Austerity" (31) and "Chastity" 
obvious in our modern society by being one less person witg2).
is prone to corruption, nepotism and fraud, while displaying 
the sort of compassion which makes our society a more 
pleasant place to live. 
In Buddhism, according to the Law of Karma, we must 
receive the retribution of the good and bad actions that 
we do. (Usually) the only way in which karmic retribu-
tion becomes defunct is by giving its fruit. However, 
rather than just sifting and waiting for one's karma to 
run out, the Buddha suggested two ways to purify 
oneself: 
In this blessing we consider pure living at the level of 
the householder — leaving purification at the more 
intense monastic level to later blessings. 
A.2 Buddhist Purification compared to that of other 
religions 
In its approach to purification, Buddhism is rather 
unique when compared to other religions. In Chris-
tianity (esp. Catholicism), if a Christian breaks a 
commandment, he will go to confession with a 
Blessing Sixteen: Dhamma Practice 197 
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priest in church. In that way, he can absolve his sins. 
Although confession has an important role in Buddhism 
too (primarily monastic) from the point of view of 
declaring one's intention to renew one's effort to 
overcome evil deeds after having broken a precept — it 
is not seen as a way of overcoming the consequences of 
the evil done. Supposing Mr. A punches Mr. B in the 
street and subsequently confesses it to someone he 
respects, Buddhists would see this as helping Mr. A to 
feel better about it, and to avoid repeating his behaviour 
— but it doesn't help Mr. B. feel any better about his 
swollen nose! 
— i.e. the consequences, even on a superficial level, 
do not go away because of the confession. In Hinduism, 
there is also a way of purification 
— bathing in the River Ganges on hill-moon days. 
Hindus believe they can rinse away their sins with river 
water. If sin were really washable, then presumably it 
is a sort of bodily dirt, rather like dried sweat? 
The Buddha however, concentrated on the residue of 
evil deeds left as defilements in the mind. He said that 
you can wash your mouth out a hundred times a day, 
but it doesn't get rid of the evil effects of the bad 
speech that comes from your mouth.You can wash 
yourself in the river a hundred times per day, but it 
doesn't get rid of the effects of the evil bodily acts 
which you have done. This blessing deals with the 
Buddhist approach to mind purification — specifically 
by the technique of "dilution". 
A.3 Definition: Practising Dhamma 
The Pali word we use for Dhamma Practice is 
"dhammacarit•a". This word is the compound of two 
words — Viitinimal and `cariya'. `Dhamma' is a word 
which has anything up to forty different meanings, but 
for our purposes in the study of Buddhism it means 
`correctness, `goodness', 'purity' or `what the Buddha 
taught'. Sometimes 'dhamma' means 'phenomena' —
which is a neutral term applied to positive and negative 
things — for example, aging, sickness and death are all 
sdhammasi. In English we capitalize Dhamma when it 
is meaning goodness, purity or the Teaching of the 
Buddha and leave it with a small `d' when it refers just 
to phenomena or mental phenomena. The word `cariyai 
means 
'conduct' — therefore, Whammacariyai means the 
'practice of good deeds' or 'correct practice.The sort 
of deeds that are good or correct are described in more 
detail below — however, to give practical principles for 
the purposes of this blessing, we can say that it is that 
the sort of deeds and conduct which comply with this 
blessing are those which promote our sense of 
responsibility for human dignity on three levels: 
the personal level 
the interpersonal level 
the level of society and the economy 
In this particular blessing we will concentrate mainly on 
the first two levels of description — not because the social 
level is irrelevant, but because we will deal with it in more 
detail in Blessing Eighteen (Blameless Work) and Blessing 
Nineteen on not consuming the things that lead to 
economic unfairness. 
The Dhamma Practice of this achieves two goals: 
protecting yourself from the effects of the evil we 
have done in our past (= practice for purity) 
• 
furthering our good deeds (= pure practice) 
A.4 Dhamma Practice in the Sequence of the Blessings 
The Buddha chose to put "Dhamma Practice" as the 
sixteenth blessing (i.e. before "Looking after one's 
extended family" [17] and "BlamelessWork" [IS] be-
cause looking after one's extended family and harmless 
work, both of which concern our dealings with a wider 
society (the members of which have a wide variety of 
dispositions) are possible minefields of conflict. 
Without particular caution in our dealings, we run the 
risk of spoiling our good intentions or coming into 
conflict through our own partiality. Thus before 
embarking on works of "social value" we have to 
prepare ourselves by studying the right approach to our 
worldly and spiritual work so as not to bring harm 
inadvertently to ourselves or others. 
B. PRACTICE FOR PURITY 
There are many ways of practising good deeds for your 
own benefit, but in this Blessing we emphasize the 
groupings of good deeds which boost our 
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sense of responsibility for our own human dignity. 
B.1 Avoiding the Defilements of Action 
Firstly, it is vitally important that we avoid the four 
defilements of action [IcAmakilesa], namely: 
I. Killing people or animals [pAAAtipAta]; 
2. Stealing or taking what is not given [adinnAdAna] 
3. Adultery or sexual intercourse outside marriage 
[kAmesumicchAcara]; 
4. Telling Lies [musAvAda]; 
You will notice that these four forms of behaviour are 
diametrically to the decent behaviours described in the moral 
codes of almost any religion. In Buddhism restraint from 
these behaviours is covered in the first four of the Five 
Precepts. Keeping the Five Precepts is well known to be the 
underlying virtue that allows us to be born human. If we want 
to stay human (i.e. remain humane or respect our own human 
dignity) then it is necessary to live our lives according to the 
Five Precepts. Even compromising our behaviour for any 
single one of the Five Precepts diminishes our humanness by 
that amount 
— but that is not the end of it— those human intuitions which 
we lose are replaced by the same amount of savage or animal 
instincts. If we are to give up all of our Precepts then we 
reduce our instincts entirely to the level of a savage [manusso 
tiracchAno]. The missing fifth Precept, i.e. to restrain oneself 
from the consumption of alcohol or substances that cloud the 
mind [surAmerayamajjapantAdatEhAnA veramaAEJ is not 
included inthe Four Defilements of Action, but reappears later 
in Blessing Nineteen. 
A person who cannot manage to restrain himself from 
these defilements of action compromises their own 
human dignity — they will have no scruples about 
constantly taking advantage of other people both in 
their presence and behind their backs. If they have 
neither fear nor shame of evil or its consequences then 
nothing will be left of their respect for human dignity. 
Anyone who can abstain from the Four Defilements of 
Action is someone established in self-discipline 
because they are able to keep the Precepts 
— they neither harm others nor take advantage of 
them. Because such a person does nothing to harm 
society, then it can be considered as social respon-
sibility to a certain extent. 
B.2 Cultivating the Five Virtues [paiicadhamma] If 
we want to go further than simply avoiding taking 
advantage of others, in Thai Buddhist culture there is a 
traditional set of virtues called the "Five Virtues" 
[palicadhamma] which build on the virtues of 
abstinence cultivated in the Five Precepts, namely: 
I. Compassion (controlling all the nasty things that 
come from the body in a way that will not offend 
them (personal cleanliness to the eye and to the 
nose; well-spoken (courteous & express concern for 
others); good manners; going out of your way to 
help others; not doing things to create suspicion in 
others; 
2. Generosity: This means giving resources, time, 
forgiveness, attention, teaching, advice (see Blessing 
Fifteen for full details); 
3. Contentment with one's spouse: This means 
being faithful to one's spouse (if applicable) and 
actively practising the virtues that keep a marriage 
going (see Blessing Thirteen for full details); 
4. Truthfulness in everything you say, honesty to 
yourself, earnestness in every task you do and 
earnestness towards good deeds. Train yourself to do 
your very best in every task that comes to you. Train 
yourself to be a person of principle, honest to 
yourself and honest to other people. You will find 
that all ten of the principles above will come 
automatically; 
5. Mindfulness train yourself to keep your mind at 
the centre of the body the whole of the time whether 
you have your eyes closed for meditation or open for 
other duties you perform during your life. Meditate 
too to give yourself the encouragement to keep 
practicing because you are getting to the roots of the 
problems that crop up in life. 
Cultivating any or all of these virtues will add to the 
strength of accumulated positivity in the mind 
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that will be able to change our mind from negative to 
positive on a more regular basis. Even if we have 
negative things in our past — the things we have done 
and which we may now regret — by building up more 
and more positive deeds in the way we mention above 
will allow us to dilute the regrets and anxieties we have 
in our minds. 
B.3 Fulfilling the Tenfold Path of Wholesomeness 
Our aim in cultivating these virtues is to establish 
oneself in the Tenfold Path of Wholesomeness 
[kusaladhammapatha] which we have already seen in 
Blessing Nine: 
1. 
absolutely not 
Billing. absolutely not 
Stealing absolutely not committing 
4dultery absolutely not 
absolutely not 
gossipintabsolutely not speaking 
darshly. absolutely not chattering 
ally 
absolutely not thinking to take the posses-
sions of others 
9. 
absolutely removing yourself from 
vengefulness. 
10. absolute possession of Right View 
C. PURE PRACTICE 
A second facet of Dhamma Practice is behaving in 
accordance with purity. This means particularly in our 
decision-making we must establish our thinking in 
'purity' and not allow impure things like defilements 
and temptation to interfere with what we know is good 
and fair. Pure practice instils respect for the human 
dignity of yourself and others. It includes: 
refraining from bias (see §C.1 below); 
avoiding the six roads to ruin (see Blessing 19); 
fulfilling one's duties in the six directions mentioned 
under the relevant blessing topic: 
a child's duties to their parents (see Blessing 11, 
§C.4); 
a parent's duty to their child (see Blessing 12, §B.3); 
ing 7, §E.1); 
• 
a husband's duty to their wife (see Blessing 13, 
§C2.3); 
• 
a wife's duty to their husband (see Blessing 13, 
,§C2.4); 
• 
friends' duties to each other (see Blessing 2, 
,§D.2); 
• 
an employer's duties to their employees (see 
Blessing 18, §D.1); 
• 
an employee's duties to their employer (see 
Blessing 18, §D.2); 
• 
a congregation member's duties to their clergy 
(see Blessing 15, §E.1); 
• 
a clergyman's duty to the congregation (see 
Blessing 3, §C.2); 
Cl Lack of Bias 
The four forms of bias comprise: 
I. Bias because of desire [chandAgati]: e.g. parents 
who don't love their children equally because of bias 
based on desire, may treat their children unfairly; 
2. Bias because of hatred [dosAgati]: e.g. teachers 
suffering from bias based on hatred or anger will 
behave unfairly towards annoying students, perhaps 
awarding them less than their due grades; 
3. Bias because of ignorance [mohAgati]: e.g. 
someone who suffers from bias because of ignorance 
may take decisions based on his own stupidity or 
lack of information or put someone wicked or stupid 
in a position of responsibility; 
a student's duties to their teacher (see Blessing 7, 
§E.1); 
a teacher's duties to their students (see Bless 
4. Bias because of fear [byAgati].e.g. someone who 
is biased because of his fears might bear false 
witness against someone he knows is innocent 
because someone he is afraid of told him to do so. 
All forms of bias cause us to trample the dignity of the 
innocent. Trampling dignity through bias starts with 
trampling one's own dignity, by twisting the truth in 
one's own heart and mind. Such bias in our minds then 
twists the things we say and do to deviate from what is 
righteous and appropriate. Such behaviours are all the 
sign of a cowardly and wicked person who has no love 
of justice — and 
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who neither respects his own human dignity or that of 
others. 
Anyone who knows that they have been maltreated by 
someone else as a result of that person's bias cannot help but 
feel sad, angry or vengeful — and with the progressive 
accumulation of such negative emotions in the mind — might 
eventually lead him to act wickedly himself towards the per-
son in question in any of the four categories already discussed 
above in the Four Defilements of Action. Thus we can see 
how one person's bias might undermine another's 
responsibility for the human dignityof others. 
Thus we can conclude that bias undermines a person's 
responsibility towards human dignity whether it remains 
unexpressed in a person's mind, or whether it causes 
resentment in another in response to an unjust action. 
Bias is very damaging to the cultivation of virtue because 
the best of intentions such as giving a gift out of 
"gratitude" can become interpreted as something base like 
nepotism or corruption if there is even the slightest 
suspicion of bias. If one can be sure that no-one involved 
in any situation is subject to bias — one can cultivate good 
deeds to the full. 
Anyone who can abstain from the Four Forms of Bias 
is someone who abides in justice. They will be 
someone who follows strictly the guidelines of all that 
is fair. 
C.2 The Ten Virtues of a Ruler 
The Buddha taught the Ten Virtues of a Ruler 
[rAjadhamma] as guidelines for the conduct of those in 
a postion of power (1.v.378): 
I. generosity [dAna]; 
2. self-discipline [stir* 
3. self-sacrifice [pariccAga]; 
4. integrity [Ajjava]; 
5. gentleness [maddava]; 
6. austerity [tapa]; 
7. non-anger [akkodha]; 
8. non-violence [avihiOsa]; 
9. patience [khanti]; 
10. non-deviation from righteousness [avirodhana]. 
Thus whoever you are, you should not infringe the 
rights of others, twist the truth or bear false witness. 
You should follow social laws and regulations 
consistently — not intentionally breaking the law. One 
should neither slip into the Four Defilements of Action 
nor pressurize others into such behaviour. Even the 
simple adherence to consistent honesty, avoiding 
breaking social laws and traditions by protecting 
oneself from bias will stop one from stirring society 
into unrest. Thus anyone who abstains from the Four 
Forms of Bias can also be considered, to a slightly 
greater extent, to be a person with social responsibility. 
D. CONCLUSIONS 
D.l Relative importance of Pure Practice and Practice 
for Purity 
To the casual observer, the consequences of failing to 
"Practice Purely" (being biased and lacking the Ten 
Virtues of a Ruler) might appear less serious than those 
who don't "Practise for Purity"(i.e. with defilements of 
action, none of the Five Virtues and lacking the Tenfold 
Path of Wholesomeness) — but on closer examination, 
the two forms of wickedness have equally devastating 
consequences. Thus if anyone truly wants to develop 
responsibility 
towards 
human dignity, theymust 
practice purely and practice for purity — this is what it 
means to be truly responsible towards human dignity 
both in oneself and others. 
D.2 Achieving Dhamma Practice in Everyday Life 
Some people may wonder whether in the present day 
you can still find examples of people who can follow 
the Tenfold Path of Wholesomeness. What can you do 
if you are still unable to follow all ten perfectly? 
I. Select your livelihood: If you want to help 
yourself, first of all, be choosy about the work that 
you do. Don't involve yourself in forms of work that 
involve Wrong Livelihood (see Blessing Eighteen). 
However, if you want to go further than these ten 
principles in life to shift from simply neutral actions 
to more positive ones then you have to make a 
further effort as follows. 
2. Never allow yourself to be shoddy: Train your-
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self never to work on anything in a shoddy 
fashion. Always do your best in whatever task 
comes to you. This thoroughness will carry over 
when you come to training yourself in so that you 
cultivate virtue too. (e.g. preparing notes for a 
sermon instead of simply making it up as you go 
along) 
3. Avoid bias: Train yourself to be unbiased and fair 
in whatever you do. You need to be sincere to 
principles, to your work, to yourself and to others 
too. 
4. Meditate regularly. No matter how smart you are, 
without meditation you have no chance of being 
successful in your pursuit of the Tenfold Path of 
Wholesomeness. The reason is that, even though 
people know something is bad, they cannot stop 
themselves from carrying on in the way they have 
always done. 
D.3 Overcoming obstacles to Dhamma Practice 
For various reasons people find great difficulty in 
earnestly cultivating virtue in their lives: 
L Low Morale: Some try to practise but give in to 
themselves easily because they lack morale. Such 
people need to be close to those who are more 
experienced — i.e the Wise of the Second Blessing. 
If you are able then choose a sort of work by which 
you can avoid having to put yourself in negative 
situations every day of the year. 
2. Bad Surroundings: Supposing you have the 
morale but your environment doesn't allow you to 
do as well as you want to, don't give up, but do as 
much as you are able to. e.g. someone who must 
work as a hunter for a living but who keeps the 
Precepts when he can. It gives the mind a rest and 
reduces the toll of negativity in the mind. Do good 
deeds whenever you have the opportunity. When it 
comes to the right time a better opportunity will 
present itself. 
E. ILLUSTRATIVE EXAMPLES 
E.I Er. Kukku JAtaka (1.396) 
On the occasion of giving a teaching to the king, the 
Buddha related the story of his previous birth 
as the counsellor to King Brahmadatta who at that time 
was an unjust ruler. After waiting a long time for a 
tactful opportunity to correct the king's ways, one day 
the two visited a building under construction in the 
royal park.The roofing is not complete and the rafters 
had just been laid in place. The king asked his 
counsellor how the rafters could stay in place, and 
having found his opportunity, the counsellor said that 
just as the peak of a roof will fall, unless tightly held by 
the rafters, a king will soon fall from power unless 
supported by subjects who have been won over by his 
righteousness. As a lemon must be eaten without its 
peel, so must taxes be gathered without violence. Like 
the lotus, unstained by the water in which it grows, is 
the virtuous man untainted by the world — therefore 
his majesty should give up his extortion of unfair taxes 
and various other injustice driven by bias and de-
filements of action. 
£2 Ex. Temiya the Mute (1.538) 
The bodhisattva was born as Temiya, son of the king of 
Kasi and Candadevi his wife. As a baby he lay in the 
lap of the king as he pronounced death sentences on 
robbers brought before him. Temiya recollected past 
lives when he had done the same and suffered for 
20,000 years in Ussada Hell as a result, therefore he 
feigned dumbness to avoid having to take the throne. 
Eventually, when he was sixteen his execution was 
ordered. As his grave was being dug, he confided his 
resolve to become an ascetic to Sunanda the 
gravedigger. Sunanda was impressed by his words and 
released the bodhisattva to become an ascetic. His 
parents were informed and upon visiting Temiya's 
hermitage, they heard his preaching and all became 
ascetics too. Citizens of Kasi and three neighbouring 
kingdoms followed their example. Temiya's parents 
were identified with the parents of the Buddha, Sunanda 
with Sariputta. 
£3 Et MahAdhammapAla JAtaka (1.447) 
There is a story of when the Buddha went back to visit 
his father King Suddhodana. The King told him the 
story that someone had told him that his son had 
already died as the result of his practice of 
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self-mortification. But the King had not believed him. 
He had more confidence in his own son than that. The 
Buddha told him that it was not the first lifetime that 
the King had had such confidence in him as a son. 
In a previous lifetime when the Buddha had been 
studying in a town away from home with his teacher 
DisApAmokkha, a young student died. The Buddha 
told his teacher that where he lived, no-one younger 
than 100 could die. The teacher didn't believe him, so 
took some goats bones and took them to the Buddha's 
father saying that he had returned the bones of his son 
who had passed away in the course of his studies. At 
that time the Buddha's father had not believed him 
either. Not even the children in that village would 
believe him. The 
reason why everybody in that village was so long-lived 
was that for seven generations, everyone in the village 
had been practicing all of the Tenfold Path of 
Wholesomeness described above. 
E.4 Er. RAjovAda JAtaka (1.334) 
Once the king of Benares, wishing to discover if he 
ruled justly, travelled about in disguise, and, in the 
course of his wanderings, came to the Himalayas, 
where the Bodhisatva lived as an ascetic. The ascetic 
gave him ripe figs, and, when asked why they were so 
sweet, explained that the king of the country was 
evidently a just ruler. The king returned to his kingdom 
and ruled unjustly for a while — returning again to the 
hermitage, he found that the figs had become bitter. 
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Blessing Seventeen: 
Looking After One's 
Extended Family 
A. INTRODUCTION 
A.1 Place of Blessing Seventeen in the sequence 
A notable quality of the numerical teachings of the 
Lord Buddha are they become successively deeper in 
the order in which they are taught. There is never an 
example of teachings of the Buddha skipping details. 
Dhamma is like a coastline which gets progressively 
deeper as you go further and further out to sea until at 
its furthest extent it comes to the deepest point at the 
bottom of the ocean. (Uposatha Sutta: Ud.5 I) If you 
learn the teachings in the order they were intended, you 
will be able to discern the progression of complexity 
that is contained in the order. It is not like conventional 
work where you can do things in any order. 
Furthermore, in Buddhism we always start with 
ourselves and gradually expand the circle of influence 
of our good deeds for the benefit of those around us. 
With the Manual of Peace, we start with ourselves, 
learning about how to do good deeds, we learn how to 
make ourselves useful to society. Once we have taken 
care of ourselves, only then do we turn our attention to 
looking after others in our family. We start by looking 
after our own parents, offspring and spouse. Once our 
close family is harmonious and welloff,we can further 
enlarge the influence of our good deeds to look after 
our extended family. From our extended family we can 
spread the goodwill further and further until our 
goodwill extends to everyone in the world. 
Looking after our extended family looks as if it 
ought to be easy but when it comes down to it, it is not 
as easy as we imagined. You may have heard examples 
of families where the whole of the family has always 
helped one another until everybody in the family 
manages to set themselves up properly in life. On the 
other hand you may have heard of families where the 
internal politics is so complicated that no-one dares to 
associate with them. One strange thing for "care of the 
extended family" is that instead of tacking it on to the 
end of blessings eleven, twelve and thirteen as the 
fourteenth Blessing, the Buddha first inserts teachings 
on how to earn our living (Blessing Fourteen), the art of 
generosity (Blessing Fifteen) and how to practice 
Dhamma (Blessing Sixteen) in between. Some people 
might dismiss this as insignificant, but there is a reason 
why looking after our extended family comes much 
later than looking after our close family: 
• 
it is not so urgent as looking after the members of 
our close family. 
• 
it is a major investment of time, energy and 
money. 
• 
done in a clumsy way, it might be misunderstood 
as favouritism or nepotism. 
Thus we need to know how to earn our living in the 
proper way first so that we will have a good enough 
financial position to help others. Also we have to 
practice Dhamma, ie. we must be fair, because 
otherwise favouritism will creep in as our mo-
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tivation for helping those around us. Instead of making 
the world a more peaceful place, our bias will make the 
world worse rather than better. Thus when you help 
your extended family it must not be in things that are 
causing a break with the Precepts or with virtue —
otherwise some will use this blessing as an excuse for 
corruption. 
A.2 Definition: 'Looking after one's extended family' 
We can divide all our acquaintances in the world into 
two groups: • our close family: our parents, husband, 
wife, parents in law and our sons and daughters; 
• our extended family: all of our blood relations 
apart from our close family (e.g. aunts, un 
des, cousins, grandparents etc.), those who we 
trust and have concern for, close friends (but 
maybe not those who are no more than ac 
quaintances or colleagues), spiritual teachers 
and fellow spiritual practitioners. 
For the group of our close family because of our debt of 
gratitude to our parents (see Blessing Eleven) or 
because if we have a husband, wife or children they are 
as a result of ow own choice, as we have seen from 
Blessings Twelve and Thirteen our duties and our 
fulfilling 
of 
the 
"Emotional 
Bank 
Account" 
[saigahavatthu] towards these groups needs to be 
unconditional. 
For your extended family, usually the degree of 
expected commitment is less. You don't see your 
extended family every day or have to live with them. 
Therefore you have space to breath between visits 
(unlike your close family where you have no space to 
breath). It may only be now and then that you have the 
opportunity to help a member of your extended family 
or a trusted friend, but when you do have the 
opportunity, you have to make a good job of it, or else 
it may destroy or make awkward your previously good 
relationship. Because you have not 'chosen' your 
extended family voluntarily/intentionally, the 
expectations for how much support you can give them, 
is less. It is usually expected to be 'conditional' i.e. to 
give support, something is expected in return. Thus 
when we talk of looking after our extended family, we 
mean giving 
assistance according to the Emotional Bank Account 
[salgahavatthu] on a conditional or 'one-off basis. 
A.3 Finding out who your extended family is 
Sometimes we are not sure of the size of our extended 
family (both our blood-relations and our trusted 
friends), but we will surely find out when we are in our 
times of need. 
Once close to Dhammakaya Temple, there was a boy who 
came and helped with the building of the temple road seven 
or eight years previously. When the road was finished, there 
was a lot of surplus timber. The boy had not yet set himself 
up in life and had no house of his own so the vice-abbot gave 
him the timber to build himself his first house. The young 
man was very appreciative of the timber but he admitted that 
if he had to work on the house himself (he could not afford to 
hire a carpenter) it would take him many months to complete. 
The vice abbot asked him how many people he had in his 
family. Ile said that he was related to practically everyone on 
the waterfront. The vice-abbot said that within a few days of 
starting to build his house he would know how many 
members he had in his extended family 
— the vice-abbot asked him to go to everyone he 
thought was one of his extended family and explain that 
he was short of the wages he needed to employ a 
carpenter. The man went to everyone who he thought 
had goodwill towards him. It turned out that all along 
the waterfront no-one would help him except for two 
people — his stepbrother who lent him what he could 
and a farmer from another province who had stayed in 
the family house of the boy when he had first arrived in 
town and was looking for a place to stay. Thus from 
thinking that he had relatives all along the waterfront it 
turned out that in actual fact he had only two people 
who were his true extended family — one was a 
blood-relative, 
another 
was 
a 
neighbour 
who 
remembered a favour. 
B. 
IMPORTANCE 
OF 
HELPING 
ONE'S 
EXTENDED FAMILY 
B.] We cannot remain independent throughout life 
Sometimes we are young and independent and we 
think that we could live self-sufficient in the world 
without having to take an interest in anyone else. If 
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we think we are independent, often it will cause us to 
think that everyone else should make themselves 
independent too and as a result we may turn a deaf ear 
to the pleas for help of others who arc in need. 
The reality of the situation is that (in spite of the 
presence or absence of a welfare state) it is only for part 
of our lives that we can expect to be independent. If we 
are a child who is too young to look after himself or a 
senior citizen who is too old to look after themselves, or 
a wife who is heavily pregnant or if we get ill, all of a 
sudden we realize that we need to rely on other people 
too. In times of disaster, such as fire or a death in the 
family or criminal proceedings, again we have to turn to 
others for help. Also during the rites of passage of our 
life, whether we are starting ow first business or getting 
married or having our first child then again, it is 
unlikely that we will have a very smooth right of 
passage without the help of those who are closest to us. 
Like the lone pine exposed unprotected to the wind we 
will soon be uprooted if we don't seek the support and 
shelter of our friends and family. For some people these 
needs are just occurring from time to time. For others, 
the need may last for many years. And when the need 
occurs, the thing which causes people to suffer the most 
boils down to four main things: shortage of 
funds/ability 
to 
borrow 
things, 
shortage 
of 
encouragement, shortage of manpower/advice, lack of 
security. We already met these four needs in previous 
lessons, especially in the workplace. If we are able to 
understand the needs (entitled to) by each sector of our 
family, we will be better able to see the opportunities to 
help other members of ow family in the things that mat-
ter to them. 
R2 Collective merit of a family needs unity 
The important thing to understand about helping our 
extended family is that it promotes the unity and 
solidarity of our family and society at large. It allows 
the family or the society we live in to maintain a certain 
level of collective merit. However, if in a family or 
society there are a few troublemakers who do nothing 
to care for their extended family, they can destroy the 
good name of the family or the society and lead the 
collective merit of that so 
ciety to break down — in the way a small number of 
Thai drug-smugglers have given the whole nation a bad 
reputation. 
B.3 Making the world a more peaceful place 
There are many international organizations campaigning for 
human rights and world peace — however the Buddha's 
approach to creating peace was slightly different. Ile 
proposed that we should try to make everybody in the world 
into our extended family. If other people don't share this 
philosophy, it doesn't matter how many peace organizations 
come into existence, they will not be enough to solve the 
problems of world peace. We will not even be able to solve 
the problems of gang fights in the neighbourhood let alone 
world wars. The thing which really can help the situation are 
the minds of men who believe the other people of the world 
do be their true extended family. however, the Buddha didn't 
say that if everybody in the world is an extended family it will 
give rise to happiness, he said that 'help your extended family 
and it willbring its results'. 
Thus if you come to the real reason for helping our 
extended family you will see that it is the basis of 
harmony/unity in society. It is the only value that will 
spread the feeling that the whole of the world is of the 
same family. To bring peace to the world you have to 
start with the smallest viable unit. You cannot start by 
making the world 'out there' peaceful. It is like 
someone who wants to build a large skyscraper. One 
might prepare many blueprints and designs but all this 
will come to nothing if you don't take cam of the 
quality of the building materials such as sand and 
cement then no matter how good your design is the 
building will soon collapse. However, if you 
concentrate on the quality of the materials, so that there 
is no dust or splinters of wood mixed up with the sand, 
you make a careful control of the size of gravel, you 
make sure that the steel is not rusted or bent, then apart 
from building an attractive skyscraper you will also 
build to last. 
In the same way, if we want to build a society which is 
one of quality then we have to start with the buildings 
blocks of society which are the clos-
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est to us and that means our relations with our ex-
tended family. 
C. 
LOOKING 
AFTER 
YOUR 
EXTENDED 
FAMILY 
C/ Appropriate times to help 
We have already mentioned that there are certain times 
when people lose their independence and have special 
need of the support of the extended family around 
them. The following circumstances are times when it is 
particularly important for us to pay attention to looking 
after our extended family: 
I. When our extended family fall on hard times and 
are without refuge. Supposing a child in our 
extended family is orphaned then perhaps we will 
take on such a child to look after for herself. 
2. When our extended family needs investment to set 
themselves up in life. Sometimes a family cannot go 
as far in its education as it would like to because its 
own family is unable to pay its way into higher 
education, even though the child has the potential to 
go further. 
3. When our extended family needs to travel but has 
no transport 
4. When our extended family lacks necessary 
equipment for pursuing their livelihood. 
5. When some of our extended family is ill 
6. When there is some special occasion e.g. usually 
we don't pay much attention to our extended family, 
but on the occasion of the wedding of someone in 
our extended family, and they need to set 
themselves up in life, maybe we will help to be the 
sponsor. Maybe you will help with the expenses 
involved with a funeral in the family or an 
ordination in the family. 
7. When someone in our family is unjustly accused 
of something they didn't do. 
8. When someone in the family is affected by natural 
disasters. 
C2 Emotional Bank Account as the basis of help for 
one's family 
There are four main ways in which you can assist your 
extended family. We call these the Four Bases of 
Sympathy [sa[gahavatthu]: 
I. Helping with resources [dAna]: This means giving 
or lending whatever we can spare which are useful to 
our extended family. All of these things sound easy but 
when we come to practising, they are not so simple. All 
it takes is one of our extended family to come 
borrowing 5,000 or 10,000 when our salary is hardly 
enough to cover the month's overheads. If they come 
borrowing 100,000 you would hardly take their request 
seriously any more. If we are still in difficulties about 
being generous to others at this point this is telling us 
that our cultivation of blessings at the level of Blessings 
Fourteen and Fifteen is not yet sufficient. If we am not 
really very earnest or efficient in the work that we do, 
and we never keep any savings then we still have our 
weaknesses. Thus if we are thorough in our thinking 
instead of thinking that it is enough just to cover our 
own basic needs, we have to think also of the 
eventuality of our extended family needing to rely on us 
as well. If you are skilful in the application of these 
principles you will find that the members of your 
extended family are always on the increase and you will 
never be short of help in times of need. Even if beggars 
come to our door, we should find something to help 
them with, according to our means. In the old days, men 
would always keep a little money in reserve for times of 
need. If anyone came to them in need, at least they 
would not lose their friendship. (see budgetting scheme 
of Blessing Fifteen §E. 2) If you can't afford to lend 
them money, at least give them advice. Even if you 
can't give them advice, maybe you can give them the 
busfare to reach the houses of other friends who may be 
able to help more. 
2. Endearing speech [piyavAcA]: This means speaking 
in a way that is not at all upsetting to our extended 
family and not looking down on them either. Normally 
we are able to be polite to others the whole of the time. 
However if we are irritable or in bad mood, even 
though we may try to say things politely, they never 
seem to come out as we intended — especially when 
we have to give reasons for things instead of telling 
people "just do what I say". The other time when it 
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is difficult for us to speak politely is the time when 
others come asking for help from us but we have to 
refuse. Refusing in a way that is gentle is no easy 
thing. If you have never made the effort to speak 
politely before then it is at this point that you will 
say something thay you may regret for years to 
come. Maybe you didn't realize that the 300 or 500 
that they have been giving us willingly all these 
years has been the last cents out of their purse every 
time. For them they didn't think that the money they 
gave was insignificant, but they thought of the fact 
that they were prepared to empty out their purse 
even to the last cent every time we came asking. If 
we speak insensitively every time when they have 
cause to come asking us for help, then that may be 
the end of any relationship we ever had to them. Just 
a few ill considered words may mean that we cannot 
look each other in the eye any more for the rest of 
our lives. It is very frightening what words can do. It 
is strange that when we are children we tend not to 
hide our feelings because we aren't concerned about 
what other people think of us. Our moods fluctuate 
between tantrums and laughs thoughout the whole of 
the day. However, when we grow older, the same is 
no longer true. A few ill chosen words from another 
adult and even if they were to come back asking 
your forgiveness with a gift of a million, you would 
still be reluctant to speak to them. Therefore start 
training yourself in endearing speech from this day 
on, so that when it comes to situations where you are 
taxed for words you won't risk being ostracised from 
your own family 
3. Lending a helping hand 
[aUhacariya]: This 
means helping our extended family out when they have 
work to be done. Even if you don't have money to lend, 
you are still strengthening the bonds of friendship 
within your extended family by giving them a helping 
hand. 
4. Being consistent to one's duty [samanatthattha]: 
This means giving others familiarity and confidence —
and not doing things that create suspicion. You need to 
conduct yourself in a way befitting your status in the 
eyes of your ex 
tended family. Sometimes members of our extended 
family may have received only a low level of 
education. Sometimes they may not know the 
appropriate way to behave in a particular situation. 
Maybe all they know is that `Whitey' is their 
grandson — but what they don't realise is that Mr. 
White is also the Managing Director of a firm. Thus 
when they visit Mr. White at his work and shout, 
"Come here Whitey!" at first Mr. White may have to 
listen patiently to the stream of things they have for 
him to help them with, but only later, when the 
situation is more relaxed on both sides will he be 
able to point out the reasons for things, step by step. 
If you are not able to help with everything they ask 
then you must find a way of helping them but in a 
more feasible way. 
C.3 Spiritual ways to help 'extended family' 
Apart from helping people with material things, we can 
also help people with Dhamma (teachings). To give 
Dhamma to people is often even more important than 
the physical things we give to people. It can be 
especially important when we come to help members of 
our extended family who are already materially 
self-sufficient but who are still a long way from 
spiritual pursuits such as generosity or keeping the 
precepts. You might invite your aunt to go to the 
temple but she complains of having too many aches and 
pains to go to the temple today. Therefore you give her 
a helping hand by driving a car to pick her up from her 
doorstep to take her to the temple and return her to her 
temple in the evening. So she complains that she 
doesn't have anything to give at the temple, so you say 
that you have already prepared all the food to offer at 
the temple and that all she needs to do is to offer it. 
Thus she agrees to go to the temple and later as she gets 
more familiar with the customs of the temple, later she 
will want to go without anyone prodding her — and 
before long she will want to be generous, keep the pre-
cepts and meditate without others having to give her 
encouragement all of the time. You might have a 
relative who has already got a good job but because he 
is still childish and irresponsible he is unable to set 
himself up properly in life. If you can 
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persuade such a person to take leave from work to 
ordain as a monk during the vacation, and you make all 
the arrangements for him and make him aware of all the 
advantages. Then that would be called looking after 
your extended family spiritually. 
CA Choosing the son offamily to help 
It is not every sort of family who will benefit from help 
you might try to give them. If you would like to 
maximize the amount of merit and satisfaction you gain 
from caring for your extended family, give priority to 
families who: 
suggested that when the fowler did this, they should all 
fly away with the net. This they did, day after day, and 
the fowler returned empty-handed until eventually his 
wife grew angry. One day, two of the quails started 
quarrelling and the bodhisattva, hearing their wrangling, 
decided to go elsewhere with his following. When the 
fowler came again and spread the net, the two quails 
started quarrelling and he was able to capture them. 
D.3 Ex. War in Kahlga (DhAdit 254ff) 
Kapilavatthu, the town of the Sakyans, and Koliya, the town 
of the Koliyans were situated on either side of the Rohini 
Make an earnest effort to help themselves first River. The farmers of both towns irrigated their fields from 
not the sort who come running to you every time there i
 river. One year, due to severe drought their paddy and 
minor problem and never think to try to solve their ownother crops were threatened, and the farmers on both sides 
problems 
wanted to divert the water from the Rohini River to their own 
• 
Those who are of good conduct, who are gratefollds. Those living in Koliya wanted to divert and channel the 
humble and courteous — and who aren't mixed up withwater to irrigate their field. However, the farmers from 
the toads to Ruin' 
Kapilavatthu protested that they would be denied the use of 
the water and their crops would be destroyed. 
D. ILLUSTRATIVE EXAMPLES 
Al Metaphor: Lone pine cannot survive in strong 
wind 
The Lord Buddha taught that all of the trees that stand 
together in the forest will help each other mutually 
giving shelter from the gales and storms, sun and rain. 
By offering each other shelter, each tree is protected 
from being uprooted. On the other hand the largest tree 
(the king of the forest) in the forest must endure the 
strong winds alone and in the end it cannot survive 
every storm. In the same way if anyone tries to go it 
alone in the swift currents of society, without the help 
of any friends and relatives, will eventually come to a 
sticky end. On the other hand, even if someone in 
society is not particularly outstanding in any respect, if 
they have sufficient friends and family who can help 
them in times of need, they will be able to overcome all 
difficulties that cross their path. If they run for election, 
without much canvassing they can soon be elected 
without much trouble. 
D.2 a 
Vattaka JAtaka (1.33) 
The bodhisattva was once a quail. There was a fowler 
who enticed quails by imitating their cry and then 
throwing a net over them. The bodhisattva 
Both sides wanted the water for their own use only and as 
a result, there was much 
and hatred on both sides. 
The quarrel that started between the farmers soon spread 
like fire and the matter was reported to their respective 
rulers. Failing to find a compromise, both sides prepared to 
go to war. 
The Buddha came to know that his relatives on both sides of 
the river were preparing for battle. For their wellbeing and 
happiness and to avoid unnecessary suffering, he decided to 
stop them. All alone, he went and appeared in the middle of 
the river. His relatives on seeing him, laid aside all their 
weapons and paid homage to him. Then, the Buddha 
admonished them, asking, 'what do you think is more 
precious, irrigation water or your royal blood?' 
They replied "Our royal blood is more precious" 
"For the sake of some water, which is of little value, 
you should not destroy your lives which are of so much 
value. Why have you taken this 
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