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3 Use massage as a reward for children who complete their homework.
3 Offer the family chef a massage In return for preparing a special meal.
3 Make the idea of massage non-threatening by offering the simple, seated,
back and neck massage (fully clothed) from Chapter 12.
3 If someone says no to massage, respect that person's feelings, but offer a
tidbit of Information that may help, such as the location of the
headache-reduction massage point in the webbing between the thumb
and index finger (see Chapter 13).
3 When a family member does agree to receive his or her first-ever mas-
sage, start out easy, with very light pressure, so you don't turn them off
to the idea. Do some gentle warmups first, and then use more intense
maneuvers after the person is used to your touch.
3 Be willing to be the first one to offer massage and to continue offering it
even if the favor is not reciprocated for a while.
Massaging my father
My father went to Emory University Hospital pitatmattress under his-back until I could curl
once for heart surgery, because his arteries myfingers up and work on his knotted muscles.
were blocked. The entire family was scared. The operating table had been as hard as a block
of concrete, and being strapped in one position
My mom and sister and I accompanied him, and
for hours turned outto be the most painful part
we watched as theywheeled him into the oper-
of the.operation.
ating room, which was filled with high-tech,
expensive equipment thatwe didn't understand. "You know, Steve; he said, his face just inches
Hours later, he came out okay, but the nurses from mine, "After whet I've been through, it feels
had to strap him to his hospital bed so he wouldn't great just to be alive. And what you're doing
accidentally roll over on the tubes and wires feels indescribable."
that sprouted from his body.
So, every hour or so during the night, I awoke
I stayed by his side all night, watching his pain from sleep in the chair beside him, stretched my
and discomfort increase until he asked me to try fingers beneath his back again, and offered the
to do something about it. best massage I could. We didn't speak many
words, but the father-son communication
"Would you mind giving me a little massage,
between us had never been stronger. It's an
Son?" he asked.
experience that bonds us to this day.
I agreed, and then slid my hands along the hos-
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Sometimes, other people just plain aren't into massage. Don't force your
family members into it if they're not comfortable. More commonly, they'll be
ready and willing to experiment with massage, but only on the receiving end,
leaving you perpetually in the role of giver. If, no matter what tactics you use,
you still end up being the only person in your family wild and crazy enough
to give massages, I say go ahead and do RI You'll be creating a closeness that
wouldn't be there otherwise, and your family will eventually express their
gratitude in other ways.
Baby Massage
"Where touching begins, there love and humanity also begin — within the
first minutes following birth." —Ashley Montagu
My wife and I were waiting in line at the grocery store one day with our four-
month-old son sitting in his stroller. Suddenly, the woman behind us reached
over and started massaging his toes. "Massage is very good for babies," she
said, "especially here on the big toe. If he's depressed or angry, this will make
him feel better." We were amazed, and it must have shown on our faces,
because she looked up at us and smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry," she said,
"It really works. I saw It on TV!"
Regardless of how you feel about strangers touching your child's feet in
supermarkets, this story does point to the widespread acceptance of baby
massage and child massage by people everywhere.
Cultures from around the world embrace the concept of baby massage:
3 People from India have massaged their babies for centuries.
3 Eskimos and native people from East Africa have long histories of using
baby massage, too.
3 In Bali, children are held in constant physical contact for the first six
months of life, and only then are their feet first allowed to touch the
ground.
Touch is part of the fabric of life, from the moment we first emerge from the
womb into our parents' arms. Unfortunately, the more "civilized" and techno-
logically advanced we become, the less time we seem to have to touch our
babies, and that's why spending some quality time massaging babies is so
important.
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Why baby loves massage
If you spend a little time around babies, you may start to think to yourself,
"Hey, babies are different than normal humans. They seem hyper-sensitive.
Every little touch is magnified a hundred times. Is It just me, or do babies feel
things differently than we do?"
Babies do indeed feel things more intensely than adults. This is caused by an
abundance of special touch-sensing organs in the skin called Meissner's cor-
puscles, which are five times more prevalent in children three years old and
younger than they are in adults. Babies have 80 Meissner's corpuscles per
square millimeter of skin versus 20 per square millimeter for adults and 4 per
millimeter for seniors.
Meissner's corpuscles are especially good at detecting light, fleeting movements
across the skin, and so this type of movement is especially effective on babies.
Also, researchers at the Touch Research Institute (TRI) in Miami have found
that massage can actually help premature infants grow faster and leave the
hospital sooner. Touch is a lifesaver for infants, who crave it as deeply as
they crave oxygen, or light. So, when you add to that the pleasure It provides,
it's no wonder babies love massage.
Baby massage moves
One thing about babies: They're really, really small. You can tell how small
they are when you try to massage them and one of your hands covers their
entire back. Besides, most of the time they're either squirming around like
tadpoles.or lying fast asleep. So, what techniques are you supposed to use on
such tiny, wriggling creatures?
Here are a few pointers to get you started:
Po Choose a time when the baby is tranquil to give the massage, perhaps
after a bath, shortly after waking up, or right before bedtime.
por Use light touch to stimulate the Meissner's corpuscles in your baby's
skin, providing extra pleasure that makes him want to stay In one place
longer.
we The massage may only last one or two minutes before the baby squirms
away, but that's okay. Just give as much as you can.
V' Don't be afraid to make firm (but not hard) contact. Babies are more
resilient than they look and like a nice, solid, reassuring touch. If you use
only very light, tickling touch, the baby misses some of the benefits of
massage.
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Baby massage routine
The following moves are easy to do, as you can see from Figure 18-I. The
hardest part will probably be getting your baby to sit still for them.
1. With the baby lying face up, run your fingertips lightly up over his
abdomen, chest, and face, and then bring them back down again, as
shown in Figure 18-la.
Remember: This move is just to stimulate the Meissner's corpuscles, so
it doesn't need to be firm at all. You can add some extra effectiveness to
this move by saying "Wh0000sh!" as you bring your fingers up over the
baby's body. After a little practice, your baby begins to anticipate this
deliciously pleasurable move and smile when you approach him with
outstretched fingers.
2. With your hands on the baby's sides, sweep your thumbs up over his
abdomen, moving them outwards. Then lightly brush the thumbs
back over the skin and repeat four to five times.
This is a calming stroke that's good for the internal organs. Note: This
move (shown in Figure 18-1b) requires relatively firm pressure, and you
may need some oil or lotion, as well.
3. Using your thumbs, make little circles with moderate pressure into
the fleshy area of baby's little tush, as shown in Figure 18-1c.
He may try to squirm away from you while you're doing this move, but
you may catch him smiling as he does so. This move feels great.
4. Apply an itty-bitty version of kneading to the baby's chubby little
thighs, as shown in Figure 18-Id.
Babies appreciate a little attention to these muscles, especially as they
become more active and stand on their legs longer.
5. Help your baby stretch his legs by grasping his lower leg, pushing his
knee up toward his chest, and then gently stretching the leg out
straight toward you (see Figure 18-1e).
Repeat this move three to four times. Support his opposite hip with your
other hand to keep him steady while you do this move. Babies naturally
love to stretch, just like dogs and cats, so this move feels especially
good.
6. If you can get him to sit still long enough, you can apply a light (and
very quick) version of the reflexology moves from Chapter 14 to your
baby's feet.
Babies are born with a complete set of reflexology points on their feet,
and, In general, they love to have them stimulated, especially those little
toes (see Figure 18-1f).
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Figure 18-1:
Massaging
Baby
CapeInn'.
Baby massage training
Babies don't need any special training to begin enjoying massage, but mom-
mies and daddies can certainly benefit by learning a few tips from baby
massage experts. Some good videos are available on the subject, and classes
are given in many areas for parents, foster parents, grandparents, and anyone
else interested. The massage techniques taught are not just for newborns
either. Toddlers enjoy massage, too.
If you really get Into it, you can become a certified baby massage instructor
yourself. Some good training programs in the U.S. are offered by a woman
named Vimala Schneider McClure, who experienced baby massage firsthand
in India and brought it back to the U.S. She founded the international
Association of Infant Massage, which now has over 2,500 members, and she
wrote Infant Massage: A Handbook for Loving Parents, (Bantam Doubleday
Dell Publishing Company).
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Contact one of the following numbers or visit the following Web site if you're
interested in baby massage:
3 International Association of Infant Massage (IAIM); contact person:
Vimala Schneider McClure; telephone: 800-248-5432
3 Cinnabar School, P.O. Box 34326, Westbrook, Calgary, AB, Canada T3C
3W0; telephone: 403-246-6720; www. ba bymass age . com
3 Tender Loving Touch; contact people: Slain Weisberg and Rita Day;
Louisville, KY, telephone: 502-458-7007
Not for Women Only
Massage can be enjoyed equally by men and women, of course, but there are
certain circumstances in which women definitely receive a little something
extra from the experience. I'm talking about that trio of specifically female
conditions:
3 Pregnancy
3 PMS
3
Menopause
When a woman receives a massage during any of these times in her life, it not
only benefits her, but all the people she lives with as well. Keeping females
happy with massage is especially important for all males who live anywhere
in their approximate vicinity.
And who are the women closest to you? Usually they're related to you in one
way or another. Mothers come to mind right away, for example. Massage is
one of the best things you can do for your mother, whether it comes directly
from your hands or as a gift (check out the coupons from Spa Wish in the back
of the book for an easy way to purchase massage gifts for your mom, regard-
less of what city she lives in). Wives and girlfriends deserve special massage
attention, too, because they have the ability to instantaneously cut off a man's
supply of something that he loves very much indeed — his happiness.
If a lot more women received a lot more massage, there would be a lot less
strife in a lot of families. Think about it.
Massaging mommy-to-be
If you are living with a pregnant woman, you can't do too many things for her
that would make her happier than a nice massage. In fact, she'll absolutely
love you for even offering.
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/ O"44
Labor day massage
I was once asked by a client to accompany her Perhaps I was the wrong gender. For centuries,
into the labor room and assist with some mas- women have stuck together at the crucial time
sage during delivery. This sounded like a good of labor, offering each other the support and
idea, so I read up on the subject and consulted understanding that only theyknow how to give.
with several experienced colleagues. When the A man, even with the best of intentions, often
big day came, however, things didn't turn out just can't seem to get the touch right at
exactly the way we all expected. moments like that
Mew minutes after arrival in the hospital birthing About half an hour later, standing •a respectful
suite, I reached down to massage my clients feet fewfeet away, I watched with amazementas my
between her rather powerful contractions. clients daughter made her appearance in the
world. The massage could wait for another day:
"Don't you touch mel" screamed my normally
demure client in a voice that reminded no of
Linda Blair in The Exorcist
Doutas
Some women blend the lines between working as a massage therapist and a
childbirth assistant. In many countries, women calling themselves (kudos go
through the process of labor with a woman, offering encouragement, sup-
port, and often touch.
If you'd like more information or are interested In becoming a doula or child-
birth assistant yourself, contact the Association of Labor Assistants and
Childbirth Educators, P.O. Box 382724, Cambridge, MA 02238; telephone:
617-441-2500; e-mail: a 1 a cehg@a of com; Web: www . a 1 a ce . org.
Pregnancy massage pointers
Giving massage to a pregnant woman is perfectly safe, and there are even
special massage tables with big holes in the center (so the woman can lie
down on her stomach) made especially for that purpose, but there are a few
points you should keep in mind for safety's sake:
3 A pregnant woman should not Ite facedown on her abdomen but rather
faceup or on her side (unless a special table like the one described in
this section is used).
3 In the later stages of pregnancy, she should not lie facedown or faceup,
but only on her side, because the extra weight of the fetus can put pres-
sure on her aorta and cut off circulation when she's on her back.
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3 Make sure that she's comfortably supported at all times, using pillows
and other cushions beneath her legs and head.
3 Use only very light and soothing touch directly on the abdominal area.
3 Stay away from the points near the heel that correspond to the repro-
ductive organs in reflexology, because they're supposed to help induce
labor. Refer to Figure 14-3 for the location of these points.
For more information on this topic, see the sidebar in Chapter 10,
'Pregnancy: A contraindication?"
With these guidelines in mind, you can confidently offer massage to your
favorite pregnant person. A high percentage of pregnant women report back
pain, sciatic pain, leg cramps, swelling of the ankles, and other problems that
massage can help ease. So, she will definitely appreciate your efforts.
To find out more, a good book on the subject is Mother Massage: A Handbook
for Relieving the Discomforts ofP regnancy, by Elaine Stillerman (Delta Books).
PMS (Please Massage Sean)
Few people realize that the real words behind the acronym PMS are "please
massage soon." The phrase' was coined back in the 1970s when some men
started noticing that their wives or girlfriends periodically seemed to need an
especially large share of love and attention. Massage was the perfect answer,
and so many a man offered his sweetie some tender touch at those times
when she seemed to need it the most.
If your honey comes to you looking stressed-out or on the verge or tears for
no apparent reason and asks you for a massage, do not ask any stupid ques-
tions. Just start massaging. Immediately.
Mena-passiblities
All kinds of crazy things start happening with a woman's hormones about the
time she's going through menopause. Many of these things have an effect on
the way she looks and the way she feels.
Massage can help create continued possibilities for health, good looks, and
pleasure as a woman enters this stage of life. Massage is extremely beneficial
at this time, because the increased circulation and the actions of the oils and
creams used are good for the delicate collagen and elastin fibers that are
beginning to break down, causing wrinkles. You're not going to rub away the
wrinkles, but you can definitely add a healthy glow to gracefully maturing
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skin. The emotional reassurance and comfort given through caring touch do
a lot to renew a woman's balance, too.
The facial and the full day of spa pleasures I outline in Chapter 15 are sure to
be appreciated by menopausal women, as well as a massage.
Senior Massage
As Art Linkletter once said, "Old age is not for sissies." All sorts of things
start to happen to a body after It's been around for a while. In addition to the
expected stiff joints and achy muscles, many seniors feel a deeper pain as
well, the pain of loneliness.
Massage can help with the stiffness. It can help with the aches. And some-
times it can even help with the loneliness. Massage treats the little things that
eventually become the big things. A little stiffness, for example, could lead to
the awkwardness and lack of coordination that eventually ends up causing a
fall. When seniors feel more relaxed and coordinated after a massage, they
are less likely to fall.
Little daily doses of touch can make the difference between a lonely life and a
more fulfilled one. We are each born yearning for touch as babies, and, as we
age, the need for contact is still there, though we often suppress it.
A new movement is afoot for seniors these days. As the population in indus-
trialized countries gets progressively older, people are not taking to the idea
of retirement like they used to. A few years ago, the word retirement used to
mean "ready to die." Now it means, "twenty more years of activities and then
maybe slowing down a little." Massage can play a big part in keeping seniors
vital and healthy during those years.
In Chapter 5, I mention one of the world's favorite seniors, and a great fan of
massage, Bob Hope. He's had a massage almost every day of his life for over
50 years, and he says it's been an important part of what's kept him going. As
of this writing, he's nearing the 100-year mark. Maybe we could all learn a few
things about aging from him.
Reach out and touch someone older
You can easily extend massage to seniors. Most are extremely grateful for the
contact. All you really need is a tiny bit of courage to take that first step. Go
ahead ... reach out and touch someone older. Try these suggestions to get
started:
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3 Visit a senior citizen neighbor and spend a little time with her. Offer to
give her a light shoulder and neck rub.
3 Visit a retirement home and volunteer to make the rounds and talk to
the residents. When you do, hold each one by the hand, making simple
contact.
3 Self-massage is great for seniors, too. If the opportunity is there, go
ahead and teach the self-massage moves in Chapter 13 to a special
senior. This is also a great way to share your enthusiasm for massage
with your own parents or grandparents.
You should follow a few guidelines when massaging seniors:
3 Seniors are generally more frail than younger folks, so use gentler move-
ments when giving them a massage.
3 They're not made of porcelain, however, and you don't need to treat
them like they're going to break at any second. Start off softly, and pro-
gressively Increase the vigor of your massage until you reach a
comfortable level.
3 Make extra sure to ask for lots of feedback so you know what you're
doing is okay.
A chance to give back
In studies conducted at the Touch Research Institute, it was found that
seniors received almost as much benefit from giving massage as they did
from receiving. Teaching seniors how to massage their grandchildren, for
example, is a wonderful way to help them feel involved and in touch with the
younger generations.
You may be surprised how good the simple act of giving a massage can make
someone feel. The contact is what counts. If you think Granny's a loner who
enjoys being off in a corner, give her another chance and have her help you
massage the baby. You may be surprised.
Professional senior massage
tv If you're headed in the direction of becoming a massage pro yourself, and you
think you may want to specialize in offering your services to seniors, special
organizations and trainings are available just for you. Contact the Day-Break
Geriatric Massage Project in California (call 707-829-2798 or visit them on the
Web at www.daybreak -ma s sage . com). They have books, videos, trainings,
and a symposium for massage therapists who specialize in senior massage.
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Final contact
A friend called once and asked me to come over eyes looked directly into mine. Near the end of
to give a massage to his father, who had the massage he reached his hand out and held
recently suffered a stroke. It took both of us sev- onto my arm, and I felt a powerful silent com-
eral minutes working together to get his father munication pass between us through the touch.
up on the massage table, because he was weak For 10 seconds, 30 seconds, a minute, he just
and partially paralyzed. The stroke had also held me.
taken away his ability to speak.
The next day I was scheduled to come massage
For almost an hour, I did the best I could to help him again, butthat morning I received a call. He
relieve some of the stress and fear that this man was gone. Now, several years later, I can still
was going through. His muscles quivered. His feel the strength of his grip on my arm.
Massage can offer some serious help for older people suffering from
Parkinson's Disease, stroke, poor blood circulation, and other conditions. In
some cases, patients have avoided amputations and terminal disability
through the massage they've received. Many seniors, such as widowed
people for example, are seldom touched, yet they're the people who need it
the most. Massage can help.
Touch at the end of life
Massage can offer much needed reassurance for those people near the end of
their lives. Some massage pros have specialized in this type of work, giving
massage in hospitals and hospices. A sizable number of clergy, members of
the National Association of Bodyworkers In Religious Service (NABRS), are
also involved.
You can learn more about offering this type of massage in the book
Compassionate Touch: Hands-On Caregiving for the Elderly, the Ill and the
Dying, by Dawn Nelson (Tatman Company).
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and Intimacy
in This Chapter
p Using sensual touch with your partner
p Setting the sensual mood
p Figuring out which moves feel good for your partner
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 0 • 0 0 0 0 0 0 OOOOO 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
L
et's face it: Sometimes, massage can just plain be sexy. Regardless of how
therapeutic it is. Regardless of the fact that it was recommended cen-
turies ago by ancient respectable guys like Hippocrates. Regardless of how
favorably many physicians think of it today. Regardless of the way it's used
by superstar athletes in smelly locker rooms. And regardless of the hundreds
of thousands of professional practitioners out there who help heal millions of
people through their non-sexual touch.
As a practitioner of therapeutic, non-sexual massage myself, I am amongst
those who would like to convince you that there's a big difference between
sensual touch and therapeutic massage. But that doesn't mean sensual touch
can't be therapeutic. In fact, the famous musician Marvin Gaye sang a song
on that very topic. You guessed It — "Sexual Healing?
INC/ This chapter offers a few basic ideas to get you started with some sensually
oriented massage. You can take many of the suggestions from the rest of this
book, too, and add a little spice to them. Be careful who you use your sensual
healing techniques on, though, because they can be quite powerful.
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•
Sensual Touch
You need a few important ingredients in order to create a great sensual mas-
sage. These include the following:
3 A naked supermodel
3 A gallon and a half of musk-scented massage oil from ancient Persia
3 Any CD by Barry White
ust kidding! Actually, having any of those ingredients on hand may indeed
mprove your chances of experiencing the ultimate sensual massage, but
hey're certainly not necessary. The following are the three things that you
definitely need for a good sensual massage:
3 The right intention
3 Spontaneity
3 Sensitivity
The right intention
So how do you go about being sensual with your chosen partner after you've
decided you'd like to share a sexy massage together? The trick is to change
your intention. You can tell the difference instantaneously when someone has
a sensual intent with their massage moves. You may be surprised how the
very same moves performed on the very same part of the body can have
incredibly different effects, depending upon who's giving the massage, and
what his or her intention Is. You can feel it in the touch.
A fine line Iles between sensual and sexual massage, and believe it or not,
sometimes sensual is better. Sensual massage is more relaxed. It doesn't
expect anything. Sex is something that gets done, while sensuality just is.
Once in a while, simply enjoy the touch without thinking about where it may
lead. Relax there in the arms of sensuality for a time, taking some pressure off
of you and your partner. You may like what you find.
Spontaneity
Perhaps the most important rule for sensual massage is, "Go with the flow." If
you feel like the most appropriate place for the massage is out on the beach
at midnight, then take your bottle of oil and head outside. Then again, the
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kitchen floor can become an exotically sensual environment when you lie
down on it with your partner. Wherever you are, look around for items that
can enhance your experience. You're bound to be able to use something that
you have on hand — a texture, a sound, or a taste — like a big, juicy, ripe
strawberry, for example.
Sensitivity
With sensual massage, you have to be especially sensitive to your partner's
emotions during the session. Envelope him or her in a sense of warmth,
caring, and safety. You don't have to beat your partner's tension into submis-
sion or accomplish anything at all really. Just be there with him or her.
Soft hands
In sensual massage, the idea Is not so much to soothe your partner's sore
muscles, but to enchant him. So, you don't need to use as much pressure or
strength as you do in a regular massage. Practice using soft hands, letting
your fingertips and palms drift over the surface of the skin without trying to
achieve any therapeutic purposes. This technique changes the massage
ONSAT mood, making it more sensual.
A massage called Tantra
You may wantto know about a special, sensual, and books. Pick up one of the books by Mantak
energy-raising technique called Tantra. This Chia, for example, which you can find on the
technique combines meditation and lots of inter- Web at www . tant ra .com . And while you're
esting activities you can use to change sexual there, you can have fun discovering other
energy into sensual/spiritual energy. You and aspects of Tantra, such as art and instructions
your partner can engage in sensual massage, from the Kama Sutra, an ancient text on sensu-
for example, to heighten your experience of ality. Plenty of couples workshops on the
togetherness, instead of rushing straight into the subject are available, too.
whole sex thing and then rolling over and falling
Have fun!
asleep afterward.
If you're into enhancing your sensual life, you
can choose among many workshops, videos,
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Setting the Sensual Mood
Sensuality is all about creating a sensual mood, right? So, it follows that your
inner chamber, as I describe in Chapter 9, is especially Important during a
sensual massage. But just how exactly are you supposed to make it sensual?
You can use candles and incense, but how about something a little more
daring?
You may want to check out a few of the items listed below to help you and
your partner get into the appropriate sensual mood. After all, you don't have
all day to lie around waiting for the proper mood to strike. You're a busy
person, and you have lots of other things on your mind. If you're feeling
adventurous, try the following suggestions, and see what happens.
Flavored massage oils
Okay, I admit it ... flavored massage oils are a little on the hokey side. But
you can't knock it till you try it, right? These days, there are flavors for every
taste. You can even find, believe it or not, a cappuccino-flavored massage oil,
which must be for those times you need a quick pick-me-up and don't want to
suffer the extreme embarrassment of falling asleep with your tongue in your
. partner's navel.
Of course, the idea here is to enjoy the flavor of the oil while you're licking it
off, but be careful not to get addicted to this pastime. Don't swallow whole
pints of the stuff, because it could jeopardize your health. Like all oils, edible
ones have a lot of cholesterol and fat, too. And nothing would be worse than
gaining weight by licking your mate, which can lead to the worst of all
excuses for not giving your honey a sensual massage: "I'm on a diet."
If edible oils interest you, check out the Wild Syde on the Web at
wi 1 d syde . com or call 800-433-6459 or 732-714-0306.
Little devices
Little devices that buzz and vibrate can be quite a pleasurable addition to a
sensual massage experience. You can purchase such devices guilt-free at
trendy shops in cities around the world these days, or you can order them
through the mail.
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Videos
All kinds of sensual massage videos are out there for you to use to help get
you in the mood, but they share one big problem: The models are too good
looking. For most people, watching one of those videos without feeling a little
Inadequate is difficult. If you do watch them, Just keep reminding yourself
that those people spend ten hours a day exercising, seven days a week. When
they're not exercising, they're at the tanning salon, or the local health food
restaurant having a bowl of lettuce for lunch, dressing on the side.
Sensual Moves
Here are a few moves that you can use when you're creating your sensual
massage together. You may notice that some of these moves are not really
moves at all, but attitudes. In a sensual massage you take more liberties with
your partner. You drape yourselves over each other more, coming closer and
dissolving the giver/receiver barrier.
Creating (utter contact
In therapeutic massage, you usually bring Just your hands and arms into con-
tact with your partner, for the most part. In sensual massage, on the other
hand, it doesn't matter how much of your body comes into contact with your
partner. In fact, the more contact the better, as shown in Figure 19-1. For mas-
sage maneuvers applied to the back, the neck, and the head, sit right down
on your partner's tush. Just make sure not to rest all your weight on him,
though, because you may cut off the circulation.
Figure19-1:
Sitting on
top of your
partner is
great in
sensual
massage.
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Part V: Living the Good Life: Massage for Every Body
Limb draping
When you're massaging your partner's limbs, let the entire leg or arm rest
across your body. This creates a sensation of support and intimacy, espe-
cially when you combine It with light, lacy moves with your fingertips on the
inner thigh area, as shown in Figure 19-2. Ooh la lal
Figure19-2:
Sensually
draping your
partner's
limbs over
your body
adds to the
experience.
Hair gliding
The fine ends of your soft, silky hair can be instruments of exquisite pleasure.
Simply let your hair hang down and brush lightly across your partner's skin
anywhere on his body while you're giving the massage, as shown in
Figure 19-3.
Do not attempt this move If you have a buzz cut or a spiky Mohawk hairstyle,
because you could inflict serious damage.
Betty touching
Ever notice how you instinctively cringe and protect your chest and
abdomen when danger is present? You do this because the front of the
human body is incredibly vulnerable and sensitive. This vulnerability is bad
for self-defense from attacking wolverines, but it's great for sensual massage.
Simply use a series of light, gliding strokes all up across the abdomen and
chest, as shown in Figure 19-4. These moves are not meant to affect the mus-
cles, as the chest massage moves In Chapter 11 are, but rather just to
stimulate the skin (and the mind) of your partner.
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Chapter 19: The Lover's Touch: Massage and Intimacy
Figure 19•&
In sensual
massage,
using your
hair is part
of the fun.
Figure 19-4:
The chest
and
abdomen
are
vulnerable,
sensitive
areas —
perfect for
sensual
touch.
The most sensual organ of them all
Simply rubbing your hands and fingers over a person's erogenous zones
can be, well, erotic, but it's not the only game in town. If you've been with
your partner for a long time, you may want to explore some newer, less
obvious zones.
One particular organ is too often neglected, and it can be the most sensual
one of all. On all humans, it's found in the same area. Everybody responds to
stimulation there in a different way, though, making seduction and sensuality
an endless surprise.
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Of course, rm talking about the brain. If you can get inside your partner's
imagination, you can lead him on an infinite number of new erotic experi-
ences without ever leaving the safety of your house. Try it the next time
you're sharing a sensual massage together.
Fantasizing is okay
If you find yourself repeatedly imagining that you're receiving your massage
from a naked movie star on a beach In Tahiti, don't worry. That's normal. In
fact, you may even use the fantasy to make the sensual massage more sensual.
Encourage your partner to share a few juicy morsels from her fantasy life
while you're applying these sensual moves. You may be surprised how the
combination of your familiar touch and the fantasy of an exotic, unfamiliar
situation adds to your experience.
The ultimate aphrodisiac
I once had the pleasure of massaging Dr. Ruth most powerful aphrodisiac in the world was.
Westheimer, and I'll never forget what she said Oysters? Ginseng? Bark from the yohimbe tree
to me at the end of the massage. Still lying on in Africa?
the table, she glanced up at me with her trade-
"Whatever works for you, works!" said Dr. Ruth,
marked mischievous.grin, and said,. "Don't you
and the phrase has rung true all the years since
want to ask mea,question?"
she spoke it You and your partner can create
"A question?" the ultimate, personalized sensual massage
experience that's right for you. Just remember
"Yes, you know, about love, or sex?" Her eyes
Dr. Ruth cheering you on from the sidelines,
twinkled.
which should put a smile on your face, and then
I couldn't pass up the opportunity for some free go for itl
expert advice, and so I asked Dr. Ruth what the
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Chapter 20
Have Hands, Will Travel: Doing
Massage for a Living
In This Chapter
r> Determining whether massage Is the career for you
I> Creating your own massage adventure
I> Understanding the future of massage
S o, now, after practicing your new techniques and discovering the incredi-
ble benefits of massage, you may be thinking to yourself, "Hey, all this
massage stuff is just too much fun. I'd like to find out how I can spend a large
percentage of my own time making others feel better like all those fantastic
professional massage therapists I've been reading about. And besides, it may
help to pay the rent."
May I then shamelessly take this opportunity to suggest to you a fantastic
book on exactly this subject, a book that was, coincidentally, written by me?
The book is Massage Therapy Career Guide forh ands-On Success. It is packed
with over 300 pages of essential Information for the person who is seriously
considering a walk down the massage career path, and for the person who
has already begun that journey.
Right here in this chapter, you're going to get enough information to make a
sound decision on whether massage therapy may be the right career choice
for you. You also find several tips and connections to get you going in the
right direction.
Is This the Career (or You?
The first thing you should do when considering a career in massage is ask
yourself a series of tough questions to determine your true motivations and
chances for success. Answering the following questions, excerpted from
Massage Therapy Career Guide, may give you a good preliminary idea about
how well suited you are to this profession.
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