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you start to find 
that you respect that fool for his 
particular skills: 
(e.g. his skill in gambling) and you 
start to think 
what good luck it is to have this 
fool as your acquaintance 
and an example to follow. 
5. Moral Support. After having 
admired the fool 
for a long time from a distance, 
you start to believe 
anything they think. 
6. Joining in. After sharing the 
same opinions for a 
long time, you start to join in with 
their activities 
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and follow the same way of life. 
7. Influencing and instilling 
behaviour to one another. 
In the final stages of association, it 
is impossible 
to tell the difference between the 
fool 
and his associates. It has also come 
to the stage 
when it is impossible to reverse the 
effects of the 
fool on his associate. 
Thus for any reader who realizes 
that they are under 
the influence of a fool they should 
realize too 
the danger of even casual contact 
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with the personality 
of someone who is a fool. There 
will be an 
unavoidable escalation of intimacy 
even without 
realizing it. 
F.3 Practising non-association in 
everyday life 
If you want to avoid associating 
with fools in your 
everyday life, apart from avoiding 
social contact 
with fools as already mentioned, it 
will be necessary 
to give special attention to the 
following issues: 
I. Prohibit yourself from every 
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sort of evil and from 
all of the roads to ruin: Don't go 
thinking that 
the odd game of poker amongst 
close friends, or 
just to keep your hand in, can 
surely be of no 
harm to anybody. Prohibit yourself 
right from 
the start. This way you will save 
yourself from 
tears in the long run. Even if you 
are someone 
with weak tendencies in the 
direction of being a 
fool, such as liking to get up late 
and ignoring 
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the alarm clock you have set for 
yourself, you 
should get tough with yourself 
right from the 
start. Prohibit yourself from doing 
even the most 
minor unwholesome deeds. 
2. Make the break from any evils 
you may have 
committed in the past: It doesn't 
matter what 
sort of bad habits you might have 
had in the past 
— don't give yourself even the 
smallest chance 
to relapse. Don't even speak of 
those things any 
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more. 
3. Make Your performance of 
good deeds continuous. 
There is no need to think over your 
past failures 
or entangle ourselves in the guilt of 
your 
past bad deeds. Starting from 
today, you must 
practise generosity, keep the 
Precepts, meditate 
and do the daily chanting —
continuously. In this 
way the scars left by our old way 
of life will 
gradually heal leaving only good 
behavior in its 
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place. 
4. In the case you have to 
associate with a fool be 
especially careful. Sometimes we 
are put in the 
situation where we have to 
associate with fools, 
even though we don't want to 
Sometimes, for 
example, we find out that even our 
own boss is 
involved in corruption. If we 
refuse to have any 
part in his dealings, we might get 
sacked. What 
should we do in such a situation? 
If we do everything 
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he orders, in the end we will pick 
up his 
bad habits. Our ancestors had a 
simile for warning 
us in such a situation. They said 
you should 
be as careful `as if you were 
warming yourself 
before the fire. If you stay too 
close to the fire for 
too long, you will get burned. If 
you keep too 
much distance, then you will be 
left shivering in 
the cold'. Thus, just as with the 
fire, you need to 
keep the appropriate distance from 
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the fool —
not too near and not too far. 
5. You can associate with a fool 
only in the case 
that you are sure you have the 
capability and 
steadfastness to help them. 
Jumping into the 
water to save a drowning person is 
only sensible 
if you are able to swim —
otherwise you get 
two drowning people! Whether 
you can really 
help a fool or not depends whether 
your own 
virtue is sufficiently steadfast to 
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allow you to 
help them unscathed. If you are not 
yet sufficiently 
steadfast then keep your distance 
— even 
Blessing One: Not Associating 
with Fools 33 
if they are your own relatives! If 
you come across 
a friend who takes no heed of your 
warnings, 
however many times you might 
tell him, you 
have to resign yourself to helping 
him out instead 
when the suffering from their own 
mistakes 
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starts to sink in 
when the 
circumstances 
make him a little more ready to 
listen. However, 
if he is not such a bad guy, and you 
are able to 
make some impression on him, 
then try to help 
him — try to keep him from going 
under. It's 
not that you should be hard 
hearted, but you 
have to know our own limits and if 
helping a 
fool is beyond your capability, you 
have to withdraw 
our help and keep our distance in 
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order to 
survive. 
F.4 Interaction without 
Transaction 
Some texts summarize the 
functions of association 
as two fold. Others summarize 
association as a pathway 
as follows: joining, receiving, and 
giving. 
• Joining means eating, sleeping 
and investing together. 
• Receiving means taking 
someone on as one's 
spouse, one's child, one's 
employee or as one's 
extended family. The point where 
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we start to 
associate with them is the point 
when we take 
them on. 
• Giving means that after joining 
them and taking 
them on, we give something to 
them. Such giving 
includes giving them 
consideration, praise, 
encouragement, lodging, food or 
payment. All 
of these are included in the 
definition of association. 
If you are associating with fools on 
any of these 
three levels you should be warned 
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to withdraw 
yourself before sustaining any 
further damage. 
F.5 The Varieties of Fools 
Some people think that they 
already have enough 
discretion to choose their friends 
and thus overlook 
the importance ofthe first blessing. 
In fact, even 
though we may be experienced and 
adult there is a 
fool with whom we have to 
associate cautiously 
throughout our life — that is our 
"inner fool". In 
conclusion, there are two different 
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types of fool in 
the world 
the fool in the outside 
world and the 
inner fool. The inner fool is the 
little"devil" that 
seems all too ready to justify your 
doing the things 
for which you should know better. 
They are the erroneous 
discretion that creep into our 
heads, and it 
is our task to put an end to the 
arising of such fools 
in the mind. 
Further to the temptation to be 
complacent about 
our ability to recognize fools, it 
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should be added 
that parents have a special 
responsibility to their 
exemplar-sensitive children to be 
cautious about the 
sort of friends they associate with 
— and even to 
choose a school and teacher for 
their children to 
help them to avoid associating 
with fools. This subject 
is dealt with in more detail in 
Blessing Thirteen 
— nevertheless a little extra 
attention on this front 
right from the beginning of our 
study of the blessings 
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can help to ensure a bright future 
for them —
preventing tears when it's too late 
to reverse the 
problems (like drug-addiction). 
G.ILLUSTRATIVE 
EXAMPLES 
G.1 The Angel and the Worm 
(traditional) 
Once upon a time there were two 
young men who 
were friends. How they came to be 
friends no-one 
knew, because one was found of 
doing meritorious 
deeds, while the other did only evil 
deeds all his 
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life — like cockfighting, fish 
fighting, taking drugs 
and alcohol. 
When he was working as a 
merchant, he would 
sell only fake goods and stolen 
goods.When he was 
a teacher, he wouldn't teach 
normal subjects to his 
pupils — he would teach all the 
shortcuts and loopholes 
in the law. 
Even with such different tastes, the 
two friends 
managed to maintain both their 
identity and their 
friendship until they both passed 
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away. When the 
good guy died, he was reborn as an 
angel in heaven. 
The bad guy was reborn as a worm 
in a lavatory. 
One day the angel was wondering 
what had become 
of his friend. The angel checked 
every level 
of heaven but could not find his 
friend. He checked 
the human realm, but again his 
friend was no where 
to be found.The angel made a 
further check and 
was surprised to see that his friend 
had been born 
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as a worm in a lavatory. The angel 
wondered what 
34 A Manual of Peace: 38 Steps 
towards Enlightened Living 
he could do to help his friend, and 
tolerated the 
revolting smell of the lavatory out 
of compassion 
in order to stand at the edge of the 
toilet bowl and 
make himself known to his friend. 
Standing at the 
rim of the toilet bowl, he changed 
himself into his 
old human form. 
"Old friend do you remember 
me?"asked the 
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