EFTA00907836

From: Jeffrey Epstein <[email protected]> 
To: 
Subject: Re: who wrote this 
Date: Thu, 31 Mar 2011 21:16:58 +0000 
the email was something you wrote „ the other things on the page are left overs from my sending prior mail to 
my it guy to clean up contacts. 
On Thu, Mar 31, 2011 at 5:11 PM, 
< 
wrote: 
what is tnhis ??? chat??? why woul;d you said this to me . why is 
name on it? 
From: Jeffrey Epstein <jeevacationOgmail.com> 
To: 
< 
Sent: Thu, March 31, 2011 5:09:04 PM 
Subject: who wrote this 
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thoughts 
Reply 
details Jan 29 
My guess is, as you see this long letter, you are tempted to skim through, quickly 
find the point, see what I want from you and move on. You won't find it. This is not 
a plea. Ifs more of a revelation and there is a lot to digest. I have been slowly 
making notes for months so there is no sense of urgency and I hope you can find a 
moment of peace to really read the words and know they are sincere. 
I want to start by saying I am grateful for you being a part of my life throughout the 
years. I also feel extremely lucky to have been able to do what I did during the 
past six months. I wish you too had the luxury of being able to leave behind 
everything and everyone you know, step outside of the cushy cotton room and try 
living a completely new and different life. It's been a wild ride and I am in awe of 
the outcome. 
For over a year, you had been the one saying you were not yourself. Although you 
didn't have the tools to fix the problem, you were disciplined enough to identify it. 
Meanwhile, it never occurred to me how far from myself I had wandered over the 
years. I can't even read many of the emails I sent you, without cringing. I am really 
embarrassed I let it get so far. Really embarrassed... 
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I can only imagine your frustration and I hope you will one day forgive me for so 
ignorantly pushing the limits of your love and patience. I believe you did your best 
trying to open my eyes. I vividly remember you telling me I would realize this one 
day when it would be too late. I was tough to tame. 
A few months ago, I watched a psychology lecture about the importance of 
vulnerability, which struck a chord. That's when I decided to start putting on paper 
those of my realizations you deserve to know about, even though some are not fun 
for me to share. 
During the first few months when something happened that proved your point, I 
couldn't help thinking you had somehow organized it. In time, I slowly stopped 
expecting you to jump out from undemeath the tables or behind the doors and I 
really started having fun experimenting with all those little tricks I had watched you 
use over the years. I always knew you were smart but after closely examining 
some of your advice and strategies, I don't know how you have the patience to live 
among normal people. The advantages of getting things done in person, your shit 
sandwich, the real benefits of staying fit, the need for follow up, using your charm 
to open doors followed by a firm approach to close the deal or the value of making 
people feel welcome and good about themselves in your company are just a few of 
my favorites. 
In light of full disclosure, I want to share some thoughts about my bad behavior in 
our relationship. I owe an apology to you and those of your confidants who labeled 
the problems correctly over the years. I must say again that I never intentionally 
deceived you - I was much too stubbom to admit these things even to myself at the 
time. I absolutely believed I was the best girl you could wish for. However, my 
behavior did not even loosely resemble the person I though myself to be. 
The fact is I got spoiled. But it is not the maids, chefs or drivers that I miss. I took 
for granted being surrounded by and exposed to great minds. Instead I chose to 
focus on those less great and that's a shame. Watching TED talks has become 
somewhat of an addiction for me lately and I can't believe I had access to most of 
those people for years. There are so many questions I wish I had asked when I had 
the opportunity.. 
I also blamed you for my insecurities . My body issues were more serious than you 
ever knew and feeling inadequate was indeed a big reason behind my jealousy 
and ridiculous demands. While it's no secret that helping girls get over their 
insecurities was never your forte, I aggravated the situation by pulling that burden 
on you. I relied on you to make me feel good about myself when it was ultimately 
all in my control. As I am writing this, I recognize it sounds like a cliché but there is 
no way around it. I let myself get annoyed about the pettiest things, subconsciously 
knowing you would suddenly find time and talk to me. Unfortunately, it was the only 
way I knew to get your full attention, although negative, for more than a few 
minutes. So I picked stupid fights with you to get noticed, like a little kid... Wow, it's 
harsh to see that so clearly now and I don't like admitting it to myself at all. But I 
don't want to do it again, nor do I want you to find yourself in the same situation 
with someone else, so I am giving you the uncensored truth as raw as it is. 
Although I had a few legitimate concerns that deserved consideration, I am waving 
a white flag now because you were in fact right about most things. I recognize it 
and I thank you for all the effort you put into trying to explain. 
The process of getting to those realizations has been quite a journey; At first, I was 
just shocked that there was actually method in your madness. 
Later, I felt so embarrassed, I decided not to admit anything to you. I had been the 
crazy man on the streets yelling, with full conviction, about the end of the world. I 
think about how much you had to love me to live with him every day and I am so 
sorry you had to put up with it. 
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But now I think it's only fair you get the credit - because it's NOT too late! 
I could have spent the rest of my life as that petty miserable brat I had turned into 
and now I don't have to. That thought alone makes me so happy. I feel like I have 
the answers to almost everything I need in order to live a great life. In fact, I am 
finding I learned so much from you, it's not really fair to other people. 
I am me again and it is such a pleasure to be able to say that I am content with 
myself. I am in the shape I alwitys vanted to be, I love that I can 
and hold a 
conversation, or make a great 
impression. I find pleasure in being warm to 
people I meet and I am stunned by the results of a few simple changes. They now 
actually choose to talk to me, confide in me, help me, invite me to spend time with 
them. Strangers start conversations with me, girls flirt with me... I am not kidding 
when I say I now get compliments about how 'likable' or 'charismatic' I am. Me!? It 
makes me smile. Every time I hear that, I still look around to see if you are laughing 
in the corner somewhere. I admit it takes an effort and practice but you can't 
appreciate my fascination that it worked. It may not seem very significant to you but 
I haven't experienced anything like it my whole life and I don't think it's just 
because my ass jiggles less. I can now get done what I need and have fun in the 
process. 
During the holiday airport mess, I got stuck in Atlanta on my way home. All flights to 
anywhere in the northeast were sold out for days and I was number 200 on a 
standby list for a flight that was already full. People were sleeping on the floors. I 
didn't have my uniform. I managed to get moved to number 2 and on the next flight 
home just by talking to the gate agents while others waited for a flight for 3 extra 
days. You would have liked watching it. It had every ingredient to be an awful day 
considering the circumstances but it was actually a lot of fun.. 
I still worry about certain things in my life and as you know there are a few stressful 
issues I need to sort out, but I can't think of the last time I let anyone win my day. 
That alone is priceless. I could go on for pages but my point is, I am in a very 
peaceful, happy place, which is to a great extent a result of my experiences with 
you. I hope you can feel some sense of accomplishment after reading this letter, 
because you have succeeded. I owe you for the greatest lesson in my life. 
I am aware I already crashed the airplane in the process. The truth is when you 
make that many bad decisions in the air, a controlled crash is sometimes the better 
option. I survived and I'm not flying into a thunderstorm again but I wish I had 
crashed before I took you along as a passenger. Saying I am sorry doesn't even 
begin to cover how guilty I feel. I miss my best friend but I don't blame you for 
being angry and resentful. Spend all the time you want hating me but know that 
when you are done and you want a friend, I will still be there. In the meantime I just 
hope you stay happy. 
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***** 
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The information contained in this communication is 
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confidential, may be attorney-client privileged, may 
constitute inside information, and is intended only for 
the use of the addressee. It is the property of 
Jeffrey Epstein 
Unauthorized use, disclosure or copying of this 
communication or any part thereof is strictly prohibited 
and may be unlawful. If you have received this 
communication in error, please notify us immediately by 
return e-mail or by e-mail to [email protected], and 
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including all attachments. copyright -all rights reserved 
The information contained in this communication is 
confidential, may be attorney-client privileged, may 
constitute inside information, and is intended only for 
the use of the addressee. It is the property of 
Jeffrey Epstein 
Unauthorized use, disclosure or copying of this 
communication or any part thereof is strictly prohibited 
and may be unlawful. If you have received this 
communication in error, please notify us immediately by 
return e-mail or by e-mail to [email protected], and 
destroy this communication and all copies thereof, 
including all attachments. copyright -all rights reserved 
EFTA00907840