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one by one and then killing it, it is worse than killing 
the ant outright in one fell swoop. To kill a mosquito 
by slapping it is not as bad as putting a candle flame 
to the wings of the mosquito and leaving it in pain to 
wriggle to death for the next three days. If a person 
kills with vengeance and cruelty, it is more serious 
than for killing out of vengeance in cold blood. If 
someone kills someone with a single shot, it is not 
so bad as someone who tortures someone to death. 
Thus even in the past, they would try to find quick 
ways of execution so that they could reduce the evil 
accrued by the executioner. (Best of all is not to 
have to kill the prisoner at all). 
C2 Components of Eight Precepts 
C.2.I Differences between Five and Eight Precepts 
The following differences are found between the 
components of Precepts shared between the Five and 
Eight Precepts: 
The Third Precept: Unchastity: The first difference 
between the Five Precepts and the Eight Precepts 
concerns the Third Precept. Immoral sexual relations 
[kAmesu micchAchAra] are replaced by abstention from 
any sexual relations (brahmacariyA — lit. 
Brahma-faring). For the Third Precept of the Eight 
Precepts there are only two components: 
I. You have the intention of having sexual rela-
tions. 
2. There is a joining of the sexual organs. In this case 
it makes no difference whether your partner is your 
husband or wife. It will cause your Precepts to be 
broken. If either or both husband and wife are 
training themselves in the Eight Precepts it is usual 
for them to sleep apart. This form of training is 
important because for most people in the world who 
lack control over their own minds, for most of the 
time, their thoughts and action are dictated by the 
defilements of sensual indulgence. The five precepts 
already teaches you to be contented with your 
spouse. The Eight Precepts goes further with this 
training by offering sixth, seventh and eighth 
If all four of these components are present then the 
Precepts to help play a supporting role in the 
reduction of attachment to sensual stimuli. 
The Fifth Precept: Not Drinking Alcohol : Another dif-
ference between Five Precepts and Eight Precepts 
concerns the fifth Precept. For Five Precepts the fifth 
Precept has five components, but for the Eight Precepts, 
there are only four components as follows: 
I. The liquid drunk must be alcohol 
2. The person must have the intention to drink it 
3. The person must make the effort to drink it 
4. The alcohol must be swallowed. 
You will see that for the Eight Precepts it is no 
longer necessary to know that the drink is alcohol in 
order to cause the fifth Precept to be broken. 
C.2.2 Sixth Precept: Refraining from Untimely 
Eating 
It is commonly asked by housewives who keep the 
Eight Precepts whether they are allowed to taste the 
food they are preparing for their husbands in the 
evening. Sometimes to taste and to eat food are not the 
same (except for the person who tastes half a plate of 
food and still doesn't know the flavour!) 
I. It must be midday of one day to the dawn of the next: 
The dawn signals the changing of the day for Buddhists 
— technically the earliest time that if you go out into 
the open, and stretch out your arm, you can see the lines 
on your hand clearly without having to use a torch or 
the time at dawn when you can first distinguish the 
leaves of trees as being of different shades of green. 
2. The substance eaten is solid food (chewable): This 
second component has some exceptions i.e. chewable 
food that is allowed. Exceptions include refined sugar, 
sugar cane juice, tamarinds, embolic myrobalan, nutgall 
or pickled ginger. For those who might have dietary 
problems if their stomach is completely empty, cheese 
or butter is allowed (but not cheese sandwiches!) 
3. The effort is made to eat the food 
4. The food is swallowed. 
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sixth Precept will be broken.The point of keeping the 
sixth precept is to remove another possible risk of 
sleepiness as a hindrance to one's meditation practice 
by avoiding a heavy evening meal. If we eat too much, 
it will give us more energy than we can use and this 
contributes to ease of sexual arousal. If you were to 
miss a meal once a week by forgoing an evening meal, 
you will find that the excess food will be burned up. 
C.2.3 Seventh Precept: Not indulging in entertainment 
or immodesry,
Indulging in entertainment means specifically: singing, 
dancing or playing musical instruments yourself, 
watching others doing the same (excepting the national 
anthem or music in honour of the monarch). Immodesty 
means wearing perfume, jewelry, flowers or makeup 
(except talcum powder for medicinal purposes). Some 
people ask if they can watch the television when 
keeping the eight precepts — the answer is that you 
have to be selective about what you watch. You can 
watch news but don't go watching a cabaret or certain 
sorts of advertising. You have to avoid contact with 
cosmetics that are meant for beautification instead of 
for health. You shouldn't wear perfume, make-up, 
flowers, hair dye. Wearing talcum powder should just 
be to prevent athlete's foot or abrasion — not for 
beautification. The components of this seventh precept 
are any of the following: 
1. Playing musical instruments, dancing or singing 
romantic songs yourself 
2. Watching entertainment consisting of singing, danc-
ing or romantic music. 
or all of the following: 
1. There are cosmetics or perfume 
2. The reason is not because of poor 
Bab* wear the cosmetics or perfume 
C.2.4 Eighth Precept: Not engaging in Indolent 
Sleeping Habits 
The following are the components of the eighth 
precept: 
I. The sleeping place is large or high 
2. You know that the sleeping place is large or high 
3. Sitting or lying down on that place 
You will notice that not only lying on a soft mattress is 
forbidden but also sitting on such a mattress, because 
they contribute to making the mind wander.The softer 
the mattress on which you sleep, the less you feel like 
getting up in the morning. As you sleep without 
mindfulness, it will start to undermine the purity of 
your third precept. However, nowadays houses 
commonly have sofas which are soft. If you were to be 
strict, sitting on a sofa would be forbidden, but for the 
sake of manners, it is better to accept others hospitality 
than to take all the cushions off the sofa and throw them 
away. At the same time we should take good care of our 
presence of mind. We have to think of both our Pre-
cepts and the appropriateness in any situation. 
Sometimes hotels have nowhere but beds upon which to 
sleep. In other places it may be too cold to sleep on the 
floor without anything under you in the way of 
insulation. Thus consider appropriateness in each 
situation. 
C3 Monastic Discipline 
C.3.I The Objectives behind Monastic Discipline 
A.v.70) 
The Buddha created the monastic discipline for ten 
reasons: 
2 
3 
munity; 
4 
To maintain the happiness of monks who love 
discipline; 
5 
To give protection from defilements that might 
increase in the present time (for example if monks are 
allowed to speak one-to-one with females, there may be many 
new problems resulting); 
6 
To give protection from defilements that might 
increase in the future (for example if monks are allowed to 
speak one-to-one with females, later it may lead the monk to 
spend all their time thinking of that female.); 
To maintain peace in the monastic community; 
To restrain stubborn and shameless disciples; 
To maintain the happiness of the monastic com-
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7. 
To instil faith in the public who are not yet 
faithful; 
8. 
To increase the faith of the public who are al-
ready faithful; 
9. 
To maintain the Teaching of the Buddha 
steadfast; 
I0. To maintain discipline itself; 
C3.2 Components of Monastic Discipline 
Although it would be possible to give the components 
for each of the 227 monastic Precepts (same principles 
apply as for those of the Five and Eight Precepts) there 
is insufficient space to do so. However, to demonstrate 
that monastic discipline is more than just the code of 
conduct, the four components of monastic practice are 
described below: 
C.3.2.I Restraint according to monastic code of 
conduct [pAEimokkhasaOvara]: The `pAEimoldchal is 
the set of rules of training which the Buddha gave to 
monks for the restraint of their bodily actions and 
speech. As soon a monk ordains, whether he knew the 
rules or not previously, it is immediately his duty to 
make sure he knows and abides by the 227 rules of 
conduct. The 227 Rules therein can be divided into 
three degrees of seriousness: 
I. Rules entailing defeat [pArAjika]: There are four 
rules in this category: killing people, stealing, sexual 
intercourse and claims of mental attainments. Any 
monk who infringes the rules of this category 
immediately in no longer a monk any more. Whether 
he is disrobed or not, he is no longer a monk any 
more. It is the heaviest infringement of monastic 
conduct possible. 
2. Rules entailing an initial and subsequent 
meeting of the order [salghAdiscsa]: This category 
of rules of training is less serious than the previous, 
but can still be considered evil and coarse. When a 
monk breaks one of these rules, they must confess 
their transgression to the rest of the monastic 
community. If a monk who has infringed such a rule 
still has not admitted his fault to the rest of the 
monastic community, then he is still not returned to 
purity. The reason for this is to show that you are 
aware of your fault and will not do it again. Only 
then can the monk be re-admitted to the monastic 
community. 
3. Rules entailing confession: These include "Rules entailing 
confession" IpAcittiya), "Rules entailing forfeiture and 
confession " inissaggiya-pAcittiyaj: -Rules entailing ac-
knowledgment" IpAtidmantya); "Minor Transgressions" 
[dukkata), and:"Wrong Speech" WubbhAsita). For these 
infringements of the monastic conduct there is no need for 
monks to confess in front of the monastic assembly. By 
confessing to another monk the offending monk can be 
returned to purity again. In fact, confession doesn't wash away 
the evil caused by infringement of the discipline, but it helps 
to give the monk the mindfulness not to infringe the same rule 
of conduct again. Confession is like the healing of an open 
wound — but the scar still remains. Best of all is never to 
break the rules of monastic conduct. 
C.3.2.2 Restraint of the senses [indriyasaOvara] This 
means specifically the restraint of the eyes, ears, nose, 
tongue, skin contact and mind. Monks should not look 
at inappropriate things: if a monk sees a couple petting 
at the side of the road, he shouldn't stay and watch 
them but should quickly go somewhere else. Monks 
should not listen to inappropriate things — there is no 
need to go listening to gossip that doesn't concern him. 
Monks should not smell things that are inappropriate or 
taste things that are inappropriate: mostly this concerns 
food and not just eating things for the taste. Monks 
should not touch or have skin contact with things that 
are inappropriate: not using rubbing creams just for the 
smoothness of the skin or to take pleasure in touching 
soft and comfortable things. Monks should not use their 
mind to think of inappropriate things. In other words 
monks should not find pleasure or displeasure from the 
use of the senses. 
C.3.2.3 Purity of livelihood [AjEvaparisuddhi] Monks 
have to make their living, but not by cultivating fields 
or earning a wage. The proper way of making a living 
for a monk is to go on almsround. 
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All monks know this but some think that almsround is 
inconvenient because sometimes alms are donated, 
sometimes not. To set oneself up as a fortune teller or a 
seller of lottery tickets somehow seems more convenient! 
— but it is not pure livelihood for monks. Lotteries are a 
form of gambling and gambling is one of the roads to ruin. 
Thus if monks encourage and make their living out of lot-
teries or lottery numbers, don't go supporting them 
— they are in breach of monastic discipline. Fortune 
telling by monks is no better than lottery tips. Fortune 
telling is a pseudo-science of statistics and is not 
grounded on truth. Thus fortune telling is a sort of 
guesswork which is not much better than lying. 
C.3.2.4 Reflection on the Requisites [paccaya-
paccavekkhaAa]: This is the practice by monks of 
recollection or reflection on the four different sorts of 
requisites before use. The requisites of clothing, food, 
shelter and medicine are the basic needs of life. Monks 
must reflect that the requisites are nothing more than 
needs to keep the body going, in the same way as fuel 
keeps a car mobile. Most people use the requisites of 
life without distinguishing between need and want —
but for monks the proper practice is to use the requisites 
to train oneself in the consideration of moderation. 
D. ATTAINMENT OF SELF-DISCIPLINE 
D.1 Levels of Avoidance 
Properly practised, discipline will give rise to 
self-discipline. Where discipline is the avoidance of un-
wholesomeness by external means, self-discipline is the 
avoidance of unwholesomeness by internal means. To 
distinguish between the two, we identify three different 
ways in which unwholesomeness can be avoided (virati): 
L Avoidance on the spur of the moment 
[sampattavirati): this is a form of discipline whereby 
one refrains from unwholesome action or speech 
spontaneously without having requested any 
Precepts in advance. If you see a fish washed up on 
the beach and you decide on the spur of the moment 
to throw it back into the 
water out of compassion, rather than killing — this 
is the sort of avoidance which we call 'avoidance on 
the spur of the moment'. Perhaps you would turn in 
a lost wallet with all of the money instead of keeping 
it for yourself, for fear of being accused of stealing. 
Such avoidance of evil occurs as the result of fear 
and shame of evil or the consequences of evil 
[hiri-ottappa]; 
2. 
Avoidance 
having 
requested 
the 
Precepts 
[samadAnavirati]: this is a form of discipline whereby one 
refrains from unwholesome action or speech for fear of 
breaking Precepts one has previously requested from a monk. 
Some people simply make a vow to keep the Precepts each 
day in front of the shrine. Even if someone were to give you a 
bottle of beer, because you have taken the five precepts that 
day, you will turn down the offer for fear of breaking your 
vow; 
3. Avoidance through transcending [samuccedavirati]: 
this is a form of self-discipline whereby one no longer 
has any temptation to do evil, because the mind has 
reached a stage of purity and transcendental attainment 
whereby no unwholesome intention can arise in the 
mind any more to drive unwholesome speech or action. 
This is absolute avoidance of evil of the type achieved 
by those who have attained the stages of Buddhist 
sainthood. 
D.2 
Refraining from 
the 
Tenfold 
Path 
of 
Unwholesomeness 
The result of practising discipline until attainingself-
discipline is to remove oneself from the influence of the 
Tenfold 
Path 
of 
Unwholesomeness 
[akusala-
dhammapatha], the first four of which can be rec-
ognized 
as 
the 
Four 
Defilements of Action 
[kammakilesa]: 
Killing: e.g. killing people, fishing, hunting and 
cruelty to animals 
2 
Stealing: e.g Thieving, mugging, shoplifting, 
corruption and deceit 
3 
Committing adultery: unfaithfulness to one's 
spouse, rape, pre-marital sex 
4 
Lying: eg. telling lies, exaggeration, forgery 
5. 
Malicious or divisive gossip: e.g. gossip in a 
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way to turn one person against another, mud-
slinging 
6. 
Harsh or insulting speech: e.g. name 
calling, swearing 
7. 
Idle chatter: e.g. purposeless babble, 
raving, boasting 
8. 
Covetousness: e.g. considering to get 
something one wants in a dishonest way, coveting 
others' possessions 
9. 
Vengeful Thought: e.g. wanting to get 
revenge or get your own back 
l0. False View: e.g. thinking good and evil to be 
nonexistent, thinking you have no debt of gratitude 
to your parents, thinking death to be the end of the 
story, not believing in the Law of Karma 
and to establish oneself in the Tenfold Path of 
Wholesomeness [kusaladhammapatha]: 
I. 
absolutely not 
tilling. absolutely not 
Stealing absolutely not committing adultery 
4. 
absolutely not 
piing 
absolutely not 
possipingibsolutely not speaking 
darshly. absolutely not idle 
Shatter absolutely not thinking to take the possession 
of others 
9. 
absolutely remove yourself from 
tengbatidy possession of Right View 
E. ILLUSTRATIVE EXAMPLES 
E.] Metaphor: Vinaya to knowledge is as a scabbard 
to a sword 
Even if you have theoretical knowledge and expe-
rience, you need to have an extra virtue to protect 
you from using that knowledge in the wrong way 
— that virtue is self-discipline. Without self-discipline, 
you will apply your knowledge to do immoral things. 
The people of old had sayings that: 
"If a sharp sword lacks a scabbard, it can harm 
even the owner. If a hand-grenade lacks a firing pin 
it can kill even the owner. A person of knowledge 
and experience can come to an unfortunate end, if 
he lacks self-discipline" 
E.2 Metaphor: Value of clay is in the value of the 
mold 
The people of old remarked that a humble lump of clay 
in the middle of a field is a strange thing. Unshaped, in 
the middle of that field it is without worth. However, if 
you put it into moulds of various sorts, it acquires worth 
depending on the nature of the mould. If you put the 
clay in the mould for a plate or a cup, when it comes 
out of the mould, it has acquired some value — it is 
something you can use on the table. If you put it into 
the mould for a doll, then the resulting doll is of value 
and can be used to decorate the house. If you put the 
clay into the mould for a Buddha image, the clay is 
suddenly transformed into something superior to 
household use, but something to be the object of respect 
for all who see it. Thus you can see that the better the 
mould you subject the clay to, the more value it 
acquires. When we come to talk about people instead of 
clay, we find that in the same way, the thing that gives 
people their value is the self-discipline they abide by. 
The greater the degree of self-discipline, the ewmore 
they are worth. 
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Blessing Ten: 
Artfulness in 
Speech 
A.INTRODUCTION 
Some might think the words coming from our mouths 
are relatively unimportant when compared to the 
artfulness in "knowledge", "application" and "usage" 
discussed in the previous blessings of this grouping. 
However, when it comes to "making oneself useful to 
society"one cannot avoid communicative skills for 
team-building and for passing one's knowledge on to 
others. 
A.1 Buddhism founded on the tenet of correct speech 
Furthermore, it is only due to the care taken in 
"communicative skills" that the Buddha's Teaching can 
have been passed down across the space of 2,500 years 
to the present day and still inspire people. Words can be 
true but they may not be pleasant to listen to. If words 
are both true and polite, the ancients said that they were 
both worth listening to and also worth hearing. If 
words, apart from being both true and polite were also 
useful, the ancients said that such words apart from 
being worth believing and worth hearing are also 
worthy of respect — it is hard to find any religion 
which analyses speech to such depth. 
Al Verbal karma easier to produce than Physical 
karma 
If you compare the possibilities for doing and saying 
good things, you find that the possibilities for good 
speech are almost unlimited, more than what we can do 
with the body. You can really do many 
more good deeds with your speech than your actions or 
if you make the mistake of doing evil, you can do much 
more evil with your speech than with your body. This 
is the reason why the Buddha had to give the art of 
speaking its own separate blessing, because of all there 
is to be studied. 
A.3 Why one mouth is ample 
Without understanding the principles of artful speech, 
we are wont to say too much. The people of old would 
teach small children the way to look at yourself in the 
mirror. They would say, don't go looking at how 
beautiful or handsome you are — because before long 
old age will rob you of all these things. Take a good 
look at your own face. You will notice that even though 
your eyes have only one function, to look, nature has 
given you two. You will notice that even though your 
ears have only one function, to hear, nature has also 
given you two. You will notice that even though your 
nostrils have only one function, to breathe, nature has 
given you two. However, your mouth has two 
functions, to eat and to talk, but nature has given you 
only one mouth. It is as if nature is telling us to use our 
mouth in moderation — not to eat too much and not to 
say too much! 
B. UNWHOLESOME SPEECH 
From our study of self-discipline in Blessing Nine, we 
already know to avoid the different sorts of un-
wholesome speech described in the Tenfold Path of 
Unwholesomeness [akusaladhammapatha] — 
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these go beyond lying to enumerate no less than four 
different sorts of unwholesome speech which should be 
avoided: 
I. Telling lies 
2. Divisive Speech 
3. Harsh Speech 
4. idle Chatter 
B.1 Telling Lies 
Telling lies means saying or writing words that are 
untrue in order to take advantage of someone else. As 
this subject has already been dealt with in Blessing 
Nine, no further detail will be repeated here. 
B.2 Divisive Speech 
Divisive speech or malicious gossip is speaking di-
visively to set one person against another. There are 
four components to malicious gossip: 
1. There is someone to set against one another; 
2. You have the intention to set one side against the 
other. 
3. You make the effort to speak divisively; 
4. You manage to make yourself understood; 
The amount of evil involved in speaking divisively 
depends on severalfactors: 
1. The Debt of Gratitude between the Perpetrator and 
the Victim: If you speak in such a way as to cause your 
own parents' marriage to break up or to set up one of 
your teachers against another or to set one monk 
against another, the evil will be very heavy.The degree 
to which the victims are divided: If the victims are 
completely unable ever to get back together again, the 
evil will be very heavy. 
2. The Strength of the Intention behind wanting to 
cause a division: The stronger the divisive intention, 
the heavier will be the evil. 
3. The amount of effort put in to making a division. The 
more the effort the heavier the evil 
B.3 idle Chatter 
Idle chatter is speaking purposelessly just to pass the 
time. There are two components to idle chatter: 
1. To have the intention to talk about something mean-
ingless: Meaningless words are the sort of words 
that don't lead a conversation anywhere. 
2. Speaking those meaningless words 
The seriousness of retribution of idle chatter depends 
on the importance of the meaningfulness that you 
impede be speaking. Even those who always speak in a 
joking way that lacks seriousness don't have to wait for 
next life to see the results of their misdeeds — no-one 
will take them seriously. The amount of evil involved 
in idle chatter depends on several factors: 
I. Amount of chatter: The heaviness of the retribution 
depends on whether you chatter a lot or a little. 
2. How much the speaker is believed: The more others 
are taken in by what we say, the worse will be the 
retribution. 
3. The strength of the intention: The stronger the in-
tention the worse the retribution. 
B.4 Harsh Speech 
Harsh speech includes swearing or insultingothers to the 
degree that it upsets them. Harsh speech even includes 
sarcasm and sarcastic comparisons.There are three 
components to harsh speech: 
i. There is someone to insult 
2. The speaker has the angry intention to insult that 
person 
3. The speaker gets down to insulting that person 
The amount of evil involved in speaking harshly 
depends on severalfactors: 
i. The Debt of Gratitude between the Perpetrator and 
the Victim: If you speak in such a way as to insult your 
own parents or teachers, the evil will be very 
heavy.The evil is also heavy if the victim is of high 
mental attainment. 
2. Whether the insult is to their face or behind their 
back. An insult to someone's face is worse in its 
retribution than an insult behind their back. 
3. The strength of bad intention behind the insult. The 
stronger the bad intention, the worse will be the 
retribution. 
4. The amount of effort behind the insult 
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B.5 Retribution of insulting those of virtue 
There are eleven forms of disasters befalling monks 
who (unfoundedly) verbally abuse others who have 
already attained the stages of sainthood: 
1. 
failing to attain the due mental attainments; 
2. 
falling away from the previous mental attain-
ments; 
3. 
their Sadhamma will become 
diouded; will delude themselves into thinking they have 
already attained Sadhamma; 
5. 
will become discontented with pursuing the 
Brahma-faring; 
6. 
will commit monastic 
Ransgressitlegive up the training and fall back into the 
low (household) life: 
8. 
will be struck down by grave 
illness; will be struck down by madness or mental 
distraction; 
10. will commit mortal blunders, and; 
11. 
has the hell realms as an afterlife destination. 
AN.XI.6 
Thus if at all possible, whether concerning a monk or 
not, never be someone to find fault in others. Always 
try to look for the good in others. You may notice the 
weaknesses of others. Observe them, remember them 
but don't use them as the subject of conversation. If you 
are always immersed in the good deeds of others then 
even if you try to think of evil things you will be unable 
to. You won't be tempted to find fault with that person 
or that person to the degree that you end up finding 
fault with people who have no fault. 
B.6 Disadvantage of saying too much 
Most people in the world believe that they are men of 
principle. However, when it comes to speaking, many 
find that they just say what they feel like. If people do 
have a governing principle about the things they say, 
then usually they just try to say the things that are 
pleasing for the other person to hear. The trouble with 
such a principle is that people will always say what is 
easiest to say instead of saying the things that need to 
be said. Such a principle, when you come to speech at 
the level of politicians or those in power will impede 
the progress of the 
country because politicians are always saying what is 
easiest to say instead of speaking out about the things 
in society which ought to be changed. 
If one has no clear principles then the more you speak, 
the more damage you do. The people of old had the 
saying that, "The more you say the more trouble you 
create." The reason is that when we have already said 
all that is beneficial and necessary to say and we keep 
on speaking then the next things to come out of our 
mouth are worthless or harmful speech such as gossip, 
slander, abuse, chatter and lies. Thus the people of old 
said, "keep what you have to say to mimimum and you 
will mimimize your problems. However if you refuse to 
speak at all then no-one understands you!" Thus we all 
have to say something, but for our own benefit we 
should clearly understand the nature of speech and the 
principles of artful speech that is beneficial so say so 
that we can be confident in selecting the things we say 
or keep to ourselves. 
C. ARTFUL SPEECH 
CI Definition 
By artful speech we mean speech that has been care-
fully filtered and distilled by the mind as good, before it 
is allowed to pass ow lips. It is not only speech that is 
better than nothing. It is speech that has been carefully 
selected by many criteria. It must be good from every 
viewpoint — so good that it cannot have any fault 
found in it. The reason why we must be careful with 
our speech is that however good ow intentions if we 
say something in the wrong way we can still upset the 
people around us because they cannot see what we are 
thinking. All they can pick up is the words by which we 
express those intentions. 
C2 Components of speech 
From the meaning communicated by the things people 
say we can identify three major components: 
I. The Intention behind the Words: You can see 
whether the intention behind the things someone is 
saying is based on greed (e.g. they would like to get 
something from someone), hatred (e.g. in order to try to 
harm someone) or delusion (e.g. out of the envy of 
someone). These are all dam-
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aging forms of speech. If speech is used in a good 
way then the intention must be good. Good speech 
may be said out of compassion. 
2. The Son of IVords Chosen: The more true they are the 
less false they are. The more polite speech is the less rude 
it is and vice versa. If the usefulness of words is reduced 
then they become more superfluous. Thus you can classify 
the speech of anyone in the world in terms of these three 
variables no matter what language it is spoken in: 
I. True or Untrue 
2. Polite or Rude 
3. Useful or SuperfluousWords are either true or 
false. 
3. The Occasion Chosen to say them: Sometimes this 
means whether what is said is appropriate to the time 
available and the place where it is said. 
C.3 Qualities of artful speech 
Applying the general components of speech toartful 
speech, we find that there are five components. If 
speech is truly good it must be good to five levels. It is 
not like a one-star hotel which is better than a hotel 
with no stars. If we are truly principled in the things we 
say, then every word we say must be 'five star'. If it is 
any less, we will not let it pass our lips.: 
I. Speech must always be based on the intention of 
compassion: If the intention behind our speech is not 
compassion for the hearer then those words are better 
not said. Think for example of the sort of things you 
say when you are angry with someone and you will see 
that if you are angry its better to keep your mouth 
closed. 
2. Speech must be true: (sort of words spoken) Sup-
posing we would like someone to do a good deed 
(i.e. we have compassion for them) but to get them 
to do so we tell a white lie then it is no longer artful 
speech. Some people would like to cheer up a child 
so they say "Oh! Here comes the most precious boy 
in the world!" This could not yet be counted as artful 
speech — it is no more than words to fool children. 
The same thing even goes for telling "white lies" to 
fool people into doing beneficial things or the 
meaningless 
words exchanged between people in love. 
3. Speech must be polite (sort of words spoken): If it is 
not polite it can never be artful speech. It is speech 
which ought to stay in the market place. 
4. Speech must be useful (sort of words spoken): It 
should not something be said just to float on the breeze. 
Does it create benefit by making the mind of the 
speaker and the listener brighter? Does it create benefit 
both in this lifetime and the next? This doesn't mean 
that we tell lies for our own benefit but by doing so we 
take advantage of others. Both speaker and listener 
must benefit as the result of the words spoken. Why 
bother telling someone that Mr. So-and-so is involved 
in corruption when everyone throughout the town al-
ready knows it to be a fact. 
5. Speech must be at the appropriate time and oc-
casion (the occasion chosen to say them): Even if you 
say the right thing but it is at the wrong time then you 
cannot consider it to be artful speech. You might want 
to give your husband or wife or friend a useful piece of 
criticism but if you do it in front of their boss it turns 
advice into a disgrace for that person. If you want to 
give your boss a warning you have to choose the 
appropriate time or else it might be seen as insult. 
C.4 Special Considerations when giving criticism 
The subject of appropriate occasion is something that is 
very hard to judge. In societies where there must be 
quality control and there does need to be evaluation and 
criticism of sloppy practices, then often one cannot wait 
for the right opportunity to come along by accident. In 
such a case you have to do your best to create the 
opportunity. Apart from keeping to all the five 
principles already mentioned, there are two extra 
considerations which you should bear in mind which 
can help to create favourable circumstances for giving 
criticism: 
I. Praise them before you criticise them: A piece of 
criticism may take three pieces of praise to balance up 
the good feeling lost. The praise should always come 
first. Don't forget that others have feelings too and even 
if someone has made a lot of faults you shouldn't 
criticise them for any 
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more than two faults per day or else you may have a 
resignation on your hands. 
2. Smile when you give the criticism: Don't criticise 
out of anger. 
If you ever say something to someone and you are 
surprised that it makes them angry, try checking the 
words that you said using the 'five-star measure of 
artful speech mentioned above. If you do not filter your 
use of words carefully, then your wordsmay cause harm 
to others. On other occasions, like a cup and a saucer 
must be of a matching quality, sometimes situations 
require words of a matching quality too. Sometimes it is 
good to speak in a way that is polite, but sometimes a 
situation doesn't require it because in some exceptional 
circumstances, five star language is not appreciated. 
CS Those who don't appreciate artful speech 
It is not as if you should speak in the most polite 
possible way to every person you meet. Some people 
cannot stand to hear polite language and may even 
criticize you because of it. They hear someone speaking 
clearly and accuse that person of being 'affected'. In 
such cases you might need to lower the grade of 
politeness of the language you use to make your 
language more direct, to shock the person into 
awareness. However, the rest of the four components of 
good speech must remain intact. The following sort of 
people might need to hear direct speech: 
I. Those who have a superiority complex or like to 
pretend that everyone is equal: Those who think they 
are God's gift to the world. Such people will not profit 
from flowery speech. Sometimes they need to be 
shocked by the words they hear in order to change 
themselves for the better. 
2. Those whose mind is blinded to the virtues of the 
speaker by their lack of faith for that person: This is 
especially true if someone's mind is still attached to 
practices that are diametrically opposed to the ones you 
are advocating. Thus you can speak flowery words until 
you are red in the face and they will still not be inspired 
by your words. Even so you must not give up trying to 
help such people! 
3. Those who are in the midst of depression: For such 
people, flowery words are of no more use than flute 
music to a buffalo. 
C6 Praiseworthy Talk 
In Buddhism, the most useful sort of talk istalk of 
virtue by one who exemplifies the virtue they are 
talking about. The Buddha taught that ten types of 
conversation which are praiseworthy are: 
1. one who wants little and talks on wanting little 
[appiccha]; 
2. one who is contented and talks on contentment 
[santuEEhi]; 
3. one who is loves seclusion and talks on seclusion 
[paviveka]; 
4. one who loves solitude and talks on solitude 
[asaOsagga]; 
5. one who strives energetically and talks on en-
ergetic striving [viriya]; 
6. one who is self-disciplined and talks on 
self-discipline [sEla]; 
7. one who has attained concentration and talks on 
concentration [samAdhi]; 
8. one who has attained wisdom and talks on wisdom 
[paluiA]; 
9. one who is has attained liberation and talks on 
liberation [vimutti], and; 
10.one who is has attained seeing and knowing of 
liberation and talks, on seeing and knowing of 
liberation [vimuttifiAAadassana]. 
C.7 Characteristics of a peace envoy 
One of the most useful applications of artful speech is 
to make the world a more peaceful place. Whenever 
there is conflict in society the reasons for people to do 
evil things are multiplied manyfold. If we ever have the 
opportunity to encourage people to live together in 
peace and harmony it is something very meritorious for 
us to do. Anyone who is fitting to be an envoy of this 
sort should have eight characteristics which we should 
learn and train ourselves in so that we may be ready if 
ever we have the opportunity to take on this duty. In the 
future, no matter how many lifetimes we are born for 
we will always have friends and relatives who are 
peaceful and harmonious: 
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1. You must be able to listen to others opinions and 
not refuse their point of view: Some people like to hear 
only the sound of their own voice. They don't let others 
get a word in edgeways. Of course they can never find 
anyone to listen to them. Before becoming a good 
speaker you must train yourself to listen to other people 
first. Whether what another person is saying is right or 
wrong, at least give them the chance to say what they 
have to say and in that way you will be able to pick up 
the jist of what they have to say. 
2. When you do speak, you must be able to capture 
your listener's attention and hold it: That doesn't 
mean just spending all your time listening to what 
others have to say but when it comes to your turn to 
speak then you should see to it that what you are saying 
is listened to. Don"t go speaking in a way that is 
irritating so that no one can listen to you for long. 
3. Know how to set the boundaries for what you have 
to say to the minimum: If you are not able to limit the 
scope of what you have to say then it is like driving a 
cart along to chase a rabbit. This is what it is always 
like if the objective of what you have to say is not clear. 
There will be no end to what you have to say. Political 
negotiations will go on for seven days and seven nights 
and still reach no conclusion. 
4. You must be able to remember what you have to 
say: Never use a forgetful person as your emissary. 
5. Understand the detail of everything you have to 
say: It is not enough simply to be able to memorize the 
details. 
6. Having the ability to make others understand what 
you have to say: This really takes a lot of ability. You 
must be artful in the use of metaphor and artful speech. 
7. You must be skilled in selecting to say only useful 
things and cutting out the rest 
8. By habit you must be someone who is not fond of 
starting arguments: Never send anyone with a short 
temper as your ambassador unless you are planning to 
start a war. 
Finally, in the words of the Buddha 
- An ambassador is one who even in the company of 
the harsh-spoken, can remain unscathed and 
unruffled, makes no mistake in his use of words, 
doesn't conceal information, has the ability to 
alleviate the doubts of others and who is not angered 
by questioning." 
(Vin. Culavagga 7/201) 
C.8 Buddhist Principles of Public Speaking 
There are many different recipes for success for public 
speaking in the world — including those of the 
Toastmasters or Carnegie, but in general, they do not 
have principles which deviate far from the principals 
already outlined above — except for aspects of the 
delivery. Buddhist principlesof public speaking 
emphasize the following components: 
1. Sound body: This includes all aspects of non-verbal 
communication 
2. Sound speech: This means speech that is pleasant to 
the ears, eyes and mind of the listener: 
I. Being pleasant to the ear means possessing "Five 
Star" speech and includes the use of words, use of 
intonation and the rhythm of what is said. 
2. Being pleasant to the eye means the speaker hav-
ing a pleasant personality and use of expression. 
3. Being pleasant to the mind includes appropriate 
choice of subject, being prepared, having one's 
thoughts organized and structuring the speech into 
three parts: an introduction, main body and 
conclusion. 
3. Sound mind: Exemplifying the virtues which you 
talk about. 
Buddhist public speaking is not just talking to be 
understood or believed, but for the enjoyment and the 
inspiration of the listener to do good deeds. 
D. ILLUSTRATIVE EXAMPLES 
D. I Metaphor: A fish lives & dies because of its mouth 
A fish can have long life dependant on its mouth which 
it uses to feed. However, because the selfsame mouth 
and its greed for bait, it swallows the hook which 
brings its life to an end. In the same 
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way, if we use our mouth for artful speech, it can bring 
us success and prosperity in life, but sometimes even a 
word of unwholesome speech from the same mouth can 
cost us our lives. 
D.2 Metaphor: It is not just knowing the right thing to 
A smart person is not a person who knows when to say 
the right thing — they must also know when to keep 
their silence. A knowledge of the things not to be said 
is more important for an artful speaker, even more than 
a knowledge of the things to be said. 
D.3 Ex.: Condemned manwho said too much 
The less you say, the less risk you run of saying 
something foolish, even dangerous. In 1825 a new czar, 
Nicholas I, ascended the throne of Russia. A rebellion 
immediately broke out, led by liberals demanding that 
the country modernize — that its industries and civil 
structures catch up with the rest of Europe. Brutally 
crushing the rebellion (the Decembrist Uprising), 
Nicholas I sentenced one of its leaders, Kondraty 
Ryleyev, to death. On the day of the execution. Ryleyev 
stood on the gallows, the noose round his neck. The 
trap-door opened — but as Ryleyev dangled, the rope 
broke, dashing him to the ground. At the time, events 
like this were considered signs of providence or 
heavenly will, and a man saved from execution this way 
was usually pardoned. As Ryleyev got to his feet, 
bruised and dirtied but believing his neck had been 
saved, he called out to the crowd, "You see, in Russia 
they don't know how to do anything properly, not even 
how to make a rope!" A messenger immediately went 
to the Winter Palace with news of the failed hanging. 
Vexed by this disappointing turnabout, Nicholas I 
nevertheless began to sign the pardon. But then: "Did 
Ryleyev say anything after this miracle?"the czar asked 
the messenger. "Sire," the messenger replied,"he said 
that in Russia they don't even know how to make a 
rope!" "In that case,"said the Czar, "let us prove the 
contrary," and he tore up the pardon. The next day 
Ryleyev was hanged again. This time the rope did not 
break. Morale: Once the words are out, you cannot take 
them back. Keep them under control. Be particularly 
careful with sarcasm: The momentary satisfaction you 
gain 
with biting words will be outweighed by the price you 
PaY-
D.4 Ex. NandivisAla JAtaka (J.28) 
A tale which has become most famous as one of 
sajEsops' Tales, in fact originates from the JAtaka Tale of 
NantivisAla, the ox which pulled 100 carts for a wager. 
This young ox was miraculously strong ever since it 
was born and so the owner had the ox pull 100 carts. 
When he found that the ox could pull the carts, the 
owner made the ox's ability subject to a wager to a 
millionnaire who didn't believe it. However, when it 
came to the time to prove the bet, the master said, `Go 
ahead and pull the carts, ox!'. Because the ox didn't 
like the direct language it refused to move. Even oxen 
have feelings. Thus the owner lost the bet. Later the 
owner made a second bet, spoke politely to the ox and 
won the wager making a profit. 
D.5 Et Matka !Atoka (1.315) 
There were once four sons of a millionnaire who wanted 
to compare their skills of persuasion and competed with 
each other in asking for meat from the cart of a butcher. 
When the four brothers saw the butcher's cart they thought 
to themself that they would like to eat some meat and they 
decided to see who could persuade the butcher to give 
them some meat. 
The first son shouted out to the butcher,"Hey butcher! 
Bring me some meat!" The butcher was a kindly man and 
he said "Of course but because your words are not sweet 
to my ears" he threw the boy some trotters. Everybody 
asked him why he gave the boy trotters and he replied that 
trotters are tough and have no taste just like the words of 
the one who had requested them. 
The second son said, "My brother! Please give me 
some of your meat to eat." Because the second son had 
had the respect to call him his brother then he cut off 
some choice meat to give to him. 
The third son said, "Oh my father! Please give me some 
of your meat to eat." Because the third son had had the 
respect to call him his father he cut the heart out of an 
ox to give to him. 
The fourth son said, "My friend! Please give me 
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some of your meat to eat." The butcher heard his words 
and felt pleased. He said that when our ages are so 
similar like this, it is closest to the truth to say that we 
are friends. To call me 'father' is too much. To call me 
'friend' is the most appropriate. So with those words he 
gave the whole of his cart to the fourth son. The fourth 
son was true to his word and took the butcher to his 
house. He said if you have this much generosity to me 
then I will be generous to you too — 
come and live here if you like — I have a reasonable 
amount of wealth to my name therefore if any of your 
friends are in distress just tell me and I will help. Well, 
it turned out that the butcher had a few unpaid debts so 
he was able to pay all those off. The fourth son was a 
friend to the butcher for the rest of his life. 
This is the benefit accrued to the fourth son who didn't 
speak harshly, or patronizingly but appropriately to the 
truth of the situation. 
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f 
The Fourth. 
Group of Blessings 
"Harmony in the Family Life" 
The fourth group of blessings contains Blessings Eleven to Four-
teen. Nearly all of these concern how we take care of our close fam-
ily and therefore the grouping is sometimes referred to as "Har-
mony in the Family Life". Nested between Group III concerning 
"Setting Oneself up in life" and Group V concerning "Becoming a 
pillar of society", it is obvious that harmony at home is something 
we have to get right if we are truly to be of use to society at large. It 
is many an important businessman who has not managed to go as 
far as he ought in his career because of being upset or unfulfilled in 
his family life. This does not mean that it is necessary to have a 
husband or wife and children to make a success in one's life — but 
if one does have one's own family, than one has to fulfil one's duty 
to them properly. In any case one must fulfil one's duty to one's 
parents. 
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Blessing Eleven: 
Cherishing our parents 
A. INTRODUCTION 
A.I Introduction to Blessing Eleven 
As we shall see for this blessing on cherishing our 
parents, much more than for cherishing husband, wife 
or children, the factor of "gratitude" is very important. 
According to Buddhist definition, "gratitude" is an 
active virtue and to be fulfilled, should be practised in 
all of the following stages: 
I. Appreciating our Debt of Gratitude to Our Parents 
[katatifiE] 
2. Repayment of our Debt of Gratitude to Our Par-
ents [katavedE] by: 
I. repaying our debt of gratitude to our parents: 
physically and spiritually both before they pass 
away and after death too 
2. Announcing the Goodness of Our Parents 
Only when we have done all of these components of 
gratitude can we be said to have fulfilled this eleventh 
Blessing — and the remainder of the discussion in this 
blessing describes the practicality of putting all three 
components in practice. In some Buddhist literature, 
practising such duties is known as 'filial piety'. 
B. WHY SHOULD WE WANT TO CHERISH OUR 
PARENTS? 
B.1 Rationale 
When we start out in our career of self-development, it 
is not obvious what goodness is. In the initial blessings, 
we have had to orientate ourselves 
to virtue without really knowing what virtue is — let 
alone being able to identify virtue in ourselves. In the 
beginning, even to be able to associate with good 
people is a blessing, because some of their virtues 
might brush off on us too. In the beginning we might 
not be aware of the virtues in ourselves — it being 
much easier to perceive the virtues of others. The 
Buddha intended us to take a hard look at ow own 
parents who have done so much for us — because 
everyone has parents and everyone has received benefit 
at their hands. Thus, for our parents more than for 
others, virtue will be easy for us to identify. If we are 
able to recognize, repay and announce the goodness of 
our parents, our familiarity with such virtue will 
become all the stronger. Later when we are able to see 
the good in our parents, we will be able to see the good 
in others. When we are able to see the good in others 
we will be able to see the good in ourselves and 
develop it further— according to the techniques found 
in the higher blessings. Unless we are sensative to a 
greater or lesser extent to the goodness other people 
express to us, we have little chance of increasing the 
sensitivity to the goodness that lies within ourselves. 
There is no-one in the world who has done as much for 
one as one's parents, so if one is unable to respond to 
the good they have done one, then it is unlikely that one 
will be able to perceive good in anything else at all. If 
our debt of gratitude to our parents is as large as this 
and we are unable to see it, that shows that we must be 
severely blinded to the good of others. 
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B.2 Taking care of our parents is the most 
fundamental of virtues 
Repaying the debt of gratitude to our parents is such a 
fundemental virtue, that the people of old used it as a 
benchmark for judging strangers. Sometimes one has to 
know someone for a long, long time before one can 
really say we know such a person in depth. However, if 
you meet someone for the first time and you find out 
that they neglect their parents, you can be sure that they 
are unlikely to have any interest in helping anyone less 
closely related. 
B.3 We will be cared for by our children 
If you recognize and repay the debt of gratitude you 
have to your parents, apart from gaining personal 
virtue, you will also set a good example for your own 
children — and they in turn will want to take care of 
you when you become feeble in your old age. 
B.4 Richness of heart helps meditation progress 
Many people meditate for many years without being 
able to make any progress — sometimes their mind has 
a continuous feeling of "dryness". However, if upon 
learning about the debt of gratitude they have to their 
parents, they take steps to repay it, it often creates a 
"richness" of mind which allows them to progress 
again in their meditation. 
C. APPRECIATING OUR DEBT OF GRATITUDE 
Cl Why must we have gratitude in our lives? 
We didn't get where we are today entirely by our own 
efforts. We are the result of considerable investment of 
food, care, protection, training and teaching by others. 
All these resources have come to us through the pure 
intentions of others in society— intentions without 
which our civilization would soon collapse. It is not that 
people have helped us because they want something 
from us in return, but if we, who have been on the 
receiving end of such altruism, are able to appreciate, 
return or praise the favours they have done us, it will 
help to create an atmosphere of "give and take" in soci-
ety instead of deterioration into "every man to 
himself'.The appreciation of good deeds is very 
important to Buddhist culture and cherishing our 
parents is our first and most fundamental opportunity to 
express gratitude. 
C2 Theories of non-gratitude to parents 
Where sons and daughters neglect their parents, often it 
is not intentional, but because of having received 
influence from some of the theories rife in our society, 
none of which are entirely true: 
I. Selfish Genes: Some people think that the only rea-
son that parents are kind to their children is that they 
want to see their character and genes passed down to 
the next generation. This theory has even led to a 
genetic theory called `The Selfish Gene' (Dawkins) by 
which it is proposed that man is nothing more than a 
mechanism by which genes replicate themselves! In 
such a case, parents don't show kindness to their 
children out of compassion but out of the selfish desire 
to propagate their own genes. If such a theory were 
really true, if you were walking down the street with 
four brothers who were all identical twins with at least 
half of the same genes as you have then you would 
rather that yourself were eaten by a monster in order to 
protect the greater part of your genes depending on the 
safety of your three brothers. Such theories have their 
limitations because they cannot explain why such traits 
as homosexuality which hamper the replication of 
genes might grow and spread in the population. The 
practical outcome of this theory is that instead of 
thinking to repay their parents for all the good things 
they have received, they think that they are bringing 
their parents fulfilment by bringing up grandchildren 
for their parents! This is logic equivalent to borrowing 
money from a bank to open a new business and paying 
back the loan to your customers! Instead of thinking 
how best to look after their poor parents, most children 
spend their time thinking how best to get themselves a 
boyfriend or girlfriend to look after for the rest of their 
lives instead. 
2. Hereditary Sin: Some philosophies of life such as 
those advocated by the Unification Church (Moonism) 
go further to suggest that all the bad things in our life 
are passed down to us by our parents and therefore only 
be abandoning your parents and marrying into their 
religion can you escape from sin. Such thinking has led 
to many broken families and accusations of kidnapping 
and brainwashing. 
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3. Patricide Cults: Some philosophies of life such as 
those found in some African tribes are even more 
destructive for the family. Only a boy who is brave 
enough to kill his own father is eligable to become the 
chief of the tribe because it is taken that only such a 
person is cruel and brave enough to lead a tribe. 
Although our thoughts about our parents might not be 
so serious as some of the theories described above 
sometimes we find it hard to really comprehend how 
much our parents have done for us. Superficially we 
think that the good our parents have done for us is easy 
to describe but in fact we don't usually don't look very 
deep. Many people are confined as to how the debt of 
gratitude to our parents could possibly be as large. Just 
thinking of how they have brought us up and how they 
have fed and schooled us surely could not add up to 
such a large debt. However we should try our best to 
look for that goodness, because if you can't see the 
good in other people who have done so much for you, 
don't expect to be able to see any of the good or 
positive things that arise in yourself as a result of your 
meditation. 
C.3 How a Child is indebted to his parents 
Of all the people in the world there is no-one closer to 
us than our own mother and father. Why should we 
choose our parents as subject to our own good deeds 
before thinking of others? Our parents are those to 
whom wehave one of the largest debts of gratitude. We 
can choose whether or not we have a spouse or 
children, but all of us have parents of whom we must 
take care. All through our childhood we have been in 
debt to them and even when adult that debt is no less 
than it was when we were young. But how many 
children go to school thinking to study their hardest, do 
their best to pick up skills so that they can get a job to 
pay their parents back for their kindness as soon as they 
complete their education? As soon as they get their first 
job how many think of using thier first wage to buy a 
present as a token of gratitude for thier parents and how 
many buy lipstick instead? 
C3.I Before conception 
If we look at the root meaning of the word 'parent' it means 
'one who brings forth their offspring'. Thus our parents are 
responsible for having given us the gift of life. Some parents 
are a mother or a father to their children. Even if they wait 
until their child is born and then abandon it — i.e they give 
rise to children but don't bring them up - 
they have still 
given the child the most valuable thing it has — its own life. 
Parents serve as physical mold. A mold increases a material's 
value (see Blessing Nine 5E.2). In a similar sense, the birth of 
all animals in the world depends on the parents as their 
physical mold. 
We are overwhelmingly indebted to our parents for their 
genes that give us our healthy physical shape. If our parents 
were those who didn't take good care of their own health then 
we might have been bom handicapped physically. But as 
many of us are in good health, today, with strong physical 
bodies, if we were to have no gratitude to our parents for the 
things they have given us, it would show that we are blind to 
the good things that people do for us. Even if our parents had 
abandoned us at birth and did nothing else to bring us up, we 
should already be overwhelmed with the gill of life that they 
have given us. 
Thus don't go thinking that to be born human is an 
automatic entitlement. Even in your own house, the 
number of people living in the house is still small 
compared to the number of worms, mosquitos, ants, 
geckos, birds etc. There are maybe a hundred or a 
thousand more non-human living beings even in our 
own house than there are humans for whom the house 
was actually built. This tells us that to be born human is 
a difficult thing but to be born as an animal is easy. And 
if you were to be born as an animal — what use do you 
think you would be to the world? 
C3.2 From conception to birth 
For the period we spent in the womb, we must mostly 
thank our mother but also our father who may have 
taken extra care of mother during pregnancy. 
Throughout the forty weeks of pregnancy, the mother 
needed to take regular medical check-
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ups. Even though she may not have liked to eat certain 
sorts of nutritious diet suitable for her baby's health, 
she had to eat those things, nonetheless. Even though 
she might have wanted to eat certain sorts of food but 
knowing that these things may have been damaging to 
her baby, she had to go without them (e.g. avoiding the 
temptation of spicy (etc.) foods, drink and cigarettes) 
during the pregnancy, wearing loose clothes and having 
to leave strenuous work to others. 
Not only physically must the mother protect the child 
in her womb, but even the serenity of state of mind of 
the child in the womb must be protected by avoiding 
quarrels, conflict and anxiety. 
C.3.3 From Birth to adulthood 
A second word used for parents is 'father' or `mother' 
which means 'the one who brings up their offspring'. 
Thus there are three types of parents — the ones we 
have already mentioned who bring forth children but 
don't bring them up, those who are step-parents who 
bring up the children of others and lastly, those who 
both give rise to children and bring them up too. Most 
of us find it is easier to comprehend their debt of 
gratitude to their parents for the care they have received 
from the time they are born to the time they are old 
enough to take care of themselves. What do you think is 
the time of your life when you are the most vulnerable 
and you can do nothing to help yourself? It is not when 
you have no money as a student. It is not during a war 
or when you are ill. None of these can compare to the 
risk which you undenvent on the day you were born. 
Normally in the face of danger we would use the 
powers we have (physical strength, connections, wealth 
or wisdom) to overcome the danger — you are able to 
help yourself. However, on the day you were born, if 
your parents didn't decide to take you as their child to 
bring them up do you think you could survive? Could 
you put up a struggle when you don't even have the 
strength to open your eyes? Would you have had 
connections enough to get you out of trouble when even 
your own parents hadn't wanted you? Would you have 
had any wealth to buy yourself out of the situation at a 
time when you didn't even 
have a scrap of cloth to wear? Would you have had the 
wisdom to work out solutions to your problems? The 
reality of the situation is that we could only survive 
because ow parents were kind enough to accept us. 
Normally if someone is to adopt a child they would have 
to take a long, long time to make that decision. If you were 
going to lend some money to someone, you have to have 
your conditions and your contracts — but for us there was 
only unconditional acceptance. Thus even that moment of 
acceptance at the most vulnerable time of ow life is more 
than we can easily reimburse. 
Even when the child is in the womb, even though they 
don't know how the child would turn out, they would 
lay down their life to protect the child in their womb. 
C3.4 Physical Care 
If you compare man with the animals, there is no comparable 
animal which takes so long or expends so much effort in the 
care of its young. Usually the larger the animal, the longer it 
must stay in the womb (gestation period) and the longer it 
must rely on the care of its parents after its birth. Even an el-
ephant with its huge size and a gestation period of three years 
will only look after a baby elephant for two years. Man 
although much smaller in size than any elephant often looks 
after his children for twenty years. They have done the job of 
protecting us like a guardian angel ever since we were born. 
Even after that we expect our parents to organize our 
marriages and pass their legacy on to us. 
Parents provide food, shelter, clothing, education and 
medical care for their children, supporting us in every 
way. Parents often have to put themselves at risk or in 
debt in order to look after their children. If you find a 
woman catching fish or shoplifting, 99 times out of 100 
she is doing it only to feed her child — if it was for 
herself she would never take such a risk. 
C.3.5 Spiritual Care 
Keeping us healthy and educated was not the only 
responsibility which our parents had to shoulder. Even 
our own basis of moral understanding had to come 
from our parents. If ow parents had relied 
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always on the saying "do what I say not what I do", by 
now we would surely have grown up into hypocrites. 
Our parents were an example for us to follow as well as 
scolding and punishing us for doing unacceptable 
things, keeping an eye on our friends and choosing only 
the best books for us to read. Who taught us to speak 
and walk? Who taught us all the basic virtues of life 
and had the patience to remind us when we were lazy or 
forgetful? Parents are a child's first teacher because 
they are the first to teach a child his manners and how 
to behave. 
Even when we are grown up and supposedly responsible 
and independent, the generosity and care of our parents 
doesn't come to an end but we find that they are always 
there to help when we have important questions like that 
of marriage and the last thing ow parents do for us before 
they die is to pass on their accumulated wealth for us. 
These are just a very brief summary of some of the 
ways in which we have been helped by our parents. 
Even the most tough and insensitive man or woman, 
when they become parents manages to find in the 
deepest part of their hearts the most tender and 
unlimited love for their own children and because of the 
purity of parental intention which fathers and mothers 
manage to find, ther people of old used to say you don't 
need to go any further than your own house in order to 
find an object of worship. 
C4 Practical recollections to appreciate your debt of 
gratitude 
According to the SilgalovAda Sutta (D.iii.180), the 
practicality of realizing one's debt of gratitude to one's 
parents can be effected by habitually reflecting: 
I. "I have been supported by my parents — I will 
support them in turn" (such a recollection helps the 
cultivation of Right View) 
2. "I will do their work for them" (such a recollection 
helps the cultivation of patience, responsibility, 
knowledge and ability) 
3. "I will keep up the honour and traditions of the 
family" 
4."I will make myself worthy of the family legacy" 
(such a recollection helps one to extricate one 
self from the Six Roads to Ruin) 
5. "I will make offerings, dedicating merit to them after 
their death" (such a recollection helps the cultivation of 
Right View and responsibility) 
Such recollections will not come naturally to any child 
who has not 
been raised with self-discipline, 
responsibility and Right View. Thus the gratitude a 
child has is part of a reciprocal relationship a parent has 
with their children — a subject explored in more depth 
in Blessing Twelve (0.3). 
D. REPAYING THE DEBT OF GRATITUDE TO 
OUR PARENTS 
D.l Expectations of Parents 
Poor parents would rather put themselves in debt than 
to see their own children suffer. Considering seemingly 
little things like carefully and rationally will allow us to 
see through to the magnitude of the debt of gratitude we 
own our parents. Realizing how good one's parents are 
is a simple but necessary precursor to the repayment of 
gratitude to our parents — because it is not 
immediately obvious or easy to understand for every 
person. 
There was once a man who, together with his brothers 
and sisters, had been looking after their mother 
throughout a constant period of two years nursing her 
and paying for her kidney transfusions at a cost of 
20,000 per month. Such a cost was certainly quite 
difficult for all the brothers and sisters to bear, but if 
they could not pay then surely their mother would die. 
Because the mother was also suffering from 
mental-disease, as soon as she was stronger after the 
transfusion, she would complain continuously 
disturbing the sons and daughters looking after her in 
the middle of the night. Looking after the mother was 
an ordeal for everyone concerned and at the end of two 
years, the thought occurred to all the brothers and 
sisters that two years was enough. They thought that all 
their efforts were surely enough to repay their debt of 
gratitude to their mother. In actual fact, if their mother 
had thought the same thing of her sick sons and 
daughters early on in life then surely none of them 
would have survived to the present day. Their mother 
would have used the last of her earnings to 
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see her children well again and even have gone into 
debt rather than seeing her children suffer. 
All parents have only five expectations of their children 
(in keeping with the five recollections of the 
SiigalovAda 
Sutta 
mentioned in 
the 
previous 
paragraph) — all of which point to ways in which 
children can handle the debt of gratitude they owe to 
their parents: 
I. that their children will look after them in their old 
age; 
2. that their children will perpetuate the good work for 
society they have already started; 
3. that their children will carry on the good name of the 
family; 
4. that their children will use the family wealth in a 
responsible way 
5. when they pass away their children will perform 
funeral rites and continue to dedicate the positivity of 
good deeds for their parents . 
The extent to which a child manages to do all five of 
these things varies from person to person — but in 
general you can categorize children into three types: 
I. The child whose virtue exceeds that of his parents 
and who brings more prosperity to the family as during 
the time of his parents [abhijAtaputta] 
2. The child whose virtue equals that of his parents and 
who brings the same degree of prosperity to the family 
as was brought during the time of his parents 
[anujAtaputta] 
3. The child whose virtue is less than that of his parents 
and who brings less prosperity to the family than during 
the time of his parent [avajAtaputta] 
D.2 Service 
Repaying to our parents' goodness through service is 
divided into two parts: 
I. Service when they are still alive: When they are still 
alive help them in their daily chores. look after them 
when they are old, make sure that they are well fed, and 
care for them when they are not well. If they still have 
debts when they are in 
their old age then try to pay these debts off before 
they die. Serve them by making life more convenient 
(e.g. building an extra toilet for aged parent) 
2. Service after their death: When they pass away host 
their funeral and habitually offer the positivity you 
generate as the result of your meditation for their 
benefit: (even if we transfer merit to them and they are 
unable to accept it we have still done ow duty to the 
best of ow ability like giving a car to someone who 
cannot use it or cannot use it immediately) 
D.2.I While parents alive 
D.2.1.I Honour 
In order to show your respect for the pure intention which our 
parents have always shown us it is fitting to offer clothing, 
housing or medicine. Sometimes we might give a gilt to our 
parents, not out of necessity, but in order to honour our 
parents. Sometimes out of their goodwill for us aged parents 
or old people will seem to be very fussy or critical because 
they have a lot of life experience (more than us). Sometimes 
they are really too fussy, but you need to be able to tolerate 
what they are saying and think that they still have that 
goodwill for you. If we are patient, we can learn a lot from 
their experiences. Also there may be some things we should 
keep to ourselves instead of burdening old parents. Old 
people are weak and cannot do much for themselves. Only 
their mouth is in good working order 
— so be patient when old people talk a lot. 
D.2.I.2 Protection 
Protect your parents from things that you know annoy 
them or tire them. If you can alleviate stressful duties 
which might fall upon your parents, you can help them 
to enjoy the last years of their life more and preserve 
their dignity. 
D.2.I.3 Spiritual IVays of Repayment 
All the above we are not enough to repay our debt of 
gratitude in all the ways above then does that mean that 
we have no way of repaying our gratitude? In fact the 
way which it is possible to repay our debt is though 
Internal support' by giving them heaven as their 
afterlife destination. 
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