EFTA00008120

113
Chapter 8: Your First Massage Appointment— Step-by-Step
3 Because floor space and portholes are at a premium on ships, massage
rooms onboard are usually teeny tiny little quarters with no natural
light. If you're used to ample luxurious massage spaces, you may feel a
little claustrophobic in this environment.
3 Even more so than in spas on land, shipboard massage therapists are
part of a massage assembly line, and sometimes the massages are lim-
ited to half an hour. It's rough to coax the best from your massage
therapist because she sees so many people come and go — none of
whom are repeat customers.
3 Make sure to sign up early — as soon as you come on board — If you're
thinking about getting a massage during your cruise because the best
time slots fill up fast. You may want an appointment during a "sea day,"
rather than in port, so you don't have to decide between getting a mas-
sage and going ashore to sightsee or shop.
Hotels
Many hotels have their own spas, so all you have to do to book a massage is
call the spa desk. For those hotels without a spa, you'll want to contact the
concierge to arrange your appointment.
One note about concierges: Watch out! They often take a good chunk of the
massage therapist's fee for themselves, and they have a stable of ever-ready
massage therapists at hand who allow them to do that. So, the quality is not
always the best. You may be better off placing a call directly to a professional
that you find listed under licensed practitioners in the local Yellow Pages or
newspaper. That way you can avoid the fee and perhaps find higher-quality
work as well.
All in all, hotel rooms are on the low end of the totem pole as far as receiving
massages go. They're impersonal, they're cramped, and they often have that
funny hotel-room-smell that no amount of incense or positive thinking can
overcome. If you find yourself in a hotel room somewhere with nowhere else
to go for your massage, and only a concierge to put your trust in, do what
seasoned massage recipients the world over have done for years: enjoy it
anyway. (See Chapter 17 for more info about hotel massages.)
Health clubs
Health clubs are becoming better places to receive massages. In the past, you
were likely to wind up in a tiny cinder-block cubicle vibrating with the sounds
of music from the aerobics room next door. These days health-club owners
are more aware that their customers want a little nook of tranquility, and a
well-trained massage therapist, available for massage. Depending upon the
place, some of these clubs offer massage therapists a good percentage of the
EFTA00008159

4
Part II: The Art of Receiving Massage
profits, and even a chance to run their own concession, so you may very well
find some motivated individuals. The massage is often high-quality, especially
if you're interested in sports-related therapy. And in a health club you can
receive your massage immediately after a strenuous workout and a limb-loos-
ening sauna.
Clinics
Many massage therapists open up their own clinics. The setup is similar to
any other professional office, like a chiropractor's, a doctor's, or a dentist's.
You walk in the front door into a waiting area with a potted plant, some maga-
zines, chairs, and a reception desk. Behind the desk is a hallway with a few
doors opening into rooms. The rooms behind those doors, however, can
differ decidedly from other clinics. Depending upon the personality and style
of the massage therapist, a massage treatment room can range from white-
tiled sterility with anatomical charts on the walls to a softly glowing, plush
chamber of warmth filled with the strains of celestial music.
One specialty in this area is known as the sports massage clinic. The massage
therapists In these facilities concentrate on rehabilitating you after an Injury.
They often work with orthopedic physicians and physical therapists. A trip
to this type of no-nonsense massage clinic may feel more like a hospital visit
than a spa visit.
Student massage clinics
Because of the wide disparity between massage therapists and the environ-
ments they create in which to work, it's a good idea to go check out each
environment personally, or at least get a detailed description of it from a
friend, before you sign up for your first massage there. That way you can
avoid the nasty surprises that can surface, such as when you make an
appointment at your local day spa for a relaxing hour of escape only to find
the massage room is directly adjacent to a bank of two dozen noisy hair-
drying machines.
EFTA00008160

Part III
The Art of Giving
Massage
The 5th Wave
By Rich Tennant
' 1 many dont think a simple neck message
o£
is ping -Eo FAE. rid. your headaches"
EFTA00008161

In this part ...
ou're no doubt familiar with the famous expression,
"it's better to give than to receive." And if you're like
most people, every time you've heard someone utter
that wonderful phrase, filled as it is with such a beautiful
philanthropic message, you've thought to yourself, "Yeah,
right. I'll take receiving any day."
But you have to admit, there's a certain gratification that
comes from giving which quite often actually makes it feel
better than receiving — more meaningful, more fulfilling.
And the secret to achieving that kind of fulfillment is that
you have to give with your whole heart. It won't work if
you're just going through the motions.
This is especially true for massage. Sure, you can rub
some warmed almond oil on your partner's back for 20
minutes while watching the clock out with one eye and
the football game on TV with the other, but that's not
what massage is all about.
Massage is about cultivating the right attitude — the
giver's attitude — not just applying mechanical maneu-
vers, which any massage text can teach you.
But don't worry: In this part of the book, you're going to
discover how to actually give a massage, too! And as
you'll see, it's not that difficult. Just follow the simple
Instructions, and In no time, you'll be reproducing the
very same techniques you see being performed by the
highly trained models in the photographs. No problem.
That's right. You can become one of those people about
whom everyone else exclaims, "What great hands you've
got!" Just remember to focus on your "giver's attitude" as
much as your manual skills, and you'll do Just fine.
EFTA00008162

Chapter 9
Massage Moods: Getting the
Setting Right
In This Chapter
D Making sure that everything looks, sounds, smells, and feels right
Is. Trading places
Say
ay your husband or wife or roommate sees you reading this book for
hours on end and eventually says something to you like, "Hey, how about
giving ME a massage? Right nowt"
Your immediate response should be:
A. Sure, lie down on the linoleum here and we'll get started.
B. No way, I'm too nervous about ever actually doing this stuff.
C. I haven't finished the book yet.
D. Okay, but give me a few minutes to set the right mood.
Yes, oh intelligent massage student, you've once again chosen correctly. The
answer is D. It's definitely true that your partner appreciates it if you take a
little time to set up a special environment or "massage mood" before you
begin the actual massage. And, even if you're in a less-than-ideal environ-
ment, don't worry. You can materialize a magical massage mood Just about
anywhere if you use some of the ideas in this chapter to create your own
"inner chamber."
Creating the Inner Chamber
One of the big secrets to giving a good massage has very little to do with the
massage itself. It has to do, rather, with where the massage is happening. And
I'm not talking about exotic locales like Bali or Atlantic City. I'm referring to
more accessible locations, like your bedroom or the couch in your den.
EFTA00008163

8
Part The Art of Giving Massage
So how do you turn these everyday places into someplace special? It's easy;
the trick is to involve all the senses.
Massage, of course, relies heavily upon the senses for its effects. Your sense
of touch, especially, is being bombarded the entire time you're giving or
receiving a massage. But it would be a mistake to neglect the other senses;
they can add greatly to your massage experience, too.
The sense of taste doesn't usually play a big part in massage, unless of
course you like to use edible massage oils like strawberry, almond, and mint
that are ... whoops, I think we're straying a little beyond the scope of this
chapter. Check out Chapter 19 for more information on sensual massage,
including the use of all kinds of flavored oils.
Anyway, for now let's concentrate on the three remaining senses that come
into play during a massage experience, also known as the 3 S's of your inner
chamber:
3 Scents
3 Sights
3 Sounds
Scents
Professional massage therapists often coach their clients through some deep-
breathing techniques as part of the massage. And, as you may suspect, all
that breathing includes quite a bit of smelling, too. That's part of the reason
why massage pros have so much concern about the way that their work-
rooms smell. In addition, they also know how powerful the sense of smell can
be for healing and relaxation.
Just sniffing a whiff of corn muffins like the ones your Aunt Betty used to
bake when you visited her on weekends as a kid Is enough to send you reel-
ing back through the years, right? Why is that so? Aromas trigger a mighty
emotional response because the molecules that enter your nose don't mess
around. They do not pass GO; they do not collect $200. Instead, they take a
direct route straight into the mldbrain area, which is the seat of your emo-
tions and memories. This fact is a key to the power of aromatherapy.
Aromatherapy
if you use advanced grammatical techniques to break down the word aro-
matherapy, you discover that it means "therapy with aromas." Anal So, does
that mean therapy with just any aroma, such as the aroma of sauteed onions,
for example, or the aroma of diesel fuel at dawn?
EFTA00008164

19
Chapter 9: Massage Moods: Getting the Setting Right
Hardly. Aromatherapy is the use of highly concentrated essential oils from
certain plants to stimulate the brain. This stimulation causes a positive effect
on the nervous and glandular systems and thus the entire body. During a
massage, you can utilize aromatherapy in several ways. In Chapter 11, you
find out how to mix up an aromatherapy massage oil, but for now let's focus
on three other aromatherapy tips that can help you scent your massage
space.
3 Diffusers: As the name suggests, a diffuser diffuses aroma into the air.
Several inexpensive models ($10415) are available that use a miniature
fan. Simply place a few drops of your favorite oil on a cotton pad, turn
on the fan, and the scent of essential oils fills the room.
3 Candles: Many commercially available candles have essential oils
worked right into the wax, and burning one during a massage is a great
way to combine effects in two of the three S's, sight and scent. Until
recently, you had to visit a specialty shop to purchase aromatherapy
candles, but now they're even available at your local grocery store. S.C.
Johnson, for example, makers of Glade air fresheners, is now in the aro-
matherapy market with candles and sprays.
3 Bulb rings: These little doodads were popular in the 1970s when they
were used to cover up even more exotic aromas floating around the
room at parties. Now they're making a comeback as aromatherapy aids.
Basically, they're floppy little rings that you place over a light bulb.
When you sprinkle several drops of essential oil into the ring and turn
on the bulb, Presto! — instant aromatherapy.
If aromatherapy is something you're keenly interested in, I would recommend
Aromatherapy For Dummies by Kathi Keville, published by IDG Books
Worldwide, a book that promises to answer that age-old question, "How can I
smell better and feel better at the same time?"
Incense
The musky, natural scents that burning incense creates can turn your inner ,
chamber into a mystical and exotic environment, even if in reality it's just
your guest bedroom. The problem is, many people overdo it with incense,
fumigating the room with enough mystical and exotic smoke to choke them-
selves, their partner, and any unsuspecting insects living in the walls. This is
not good.
When it comes to incense, a little goes a long way. Use it with moderation,
and you can create Just the right mood. If you're using one of those long thick
sticks of incense, snap It off X of the way down and burn just the last bit. Also,
you can crack a window open, weather permitting, to circulate a little fresh
air with the smoke.
EFTA00008165

120
Part III: The Art of Giving Massage
An altar to the massage gods
Some people go so far as to create a special Then you can go a step further and add a pho-
altar in the area where they give their mas- tograph or two as well. Pick a subject that
sages. This is going a bit out into Shirley reminds you of spiritual things, such as a photo
MacLeine land, I realize, but when you think of the Dalai Lama, Saint Francis, or whales
about it, it makes sense. A massage can be a cavorting in the waves.
kind of shared spiritual experience (See Rule
If you spend time meditating or simply sitting
#7 in Chapter 7), and an altar is a way to com-
quietly at your altar, you can embue the space
memorate that.
with a quiet energy. People who join you there
So what should be on a massage altar, you ask? may notice the difference. I don't know if this is
You can place the objects mentioned elsewhere due to an actual exchange of peaceful mole-
in this chapter, such as water fountains, can- cules, an increase in negative ions, or what, but
dles, incense burners, and flowers on your altar. it can definitely be felt.
There are thousands of brands and "flavors" of Incense. My favorite is the
Nag Champa scent, which, although I've never been there, reminds me of a
sacred meditation cave in the Himalayas.
Flowers
Nothing beats the scent of fresh flowers in your massage area. You don't need
a big vase and a big budget to make it happen either. All that's necessary is a
small bowl, a cup, or a mug from the kitchen cabinet that you fill with water,
and a single flower. Roses or gardenias work especially well. Snip the flower
off the stem and float it on the water. This fills the air with scent for hours or
even days.
If you want to get really romantic, spread some fresh petals on the bed or
other massage surface to set the mood. Cleopatra had her love chamber
filled a foot deep with rose petals before Anthony made his big entrance.
Sights
It may sound funny to focus on the sights of a massage space because, after
all, the person receiving the massage will probably have her eyes closed
most of the time anyway. But during those few minutes when she first enters,
and whenever she opens her eyes, she'll soak in her surroundings. There are
a few simple things that you can use to add to the relaxing ambience:
n
3 Candles: Candles cast an enchanting glow over any massage experience,
and they can add to the scent as well, as I mention earlier.
EFTA00008166

Chapter 9: Massage Moods: Getting the Setting Right 121
3 Flowers: Even a small bunch of silk flowers placed with care near the
massage area shows this is someplace special.
3 Lighting: You can do some simple things with lighting to make your
space massage-friendly.
• Turn the lights down low. This helps the person on the receiving
end concentrate more on the massage, perhaps because she won't
feel like you are scrutinizing her body under a microscope.
• Throw a silk scarf over a lampshade to create instant mood light-
ing during a massage.
3 Color Drape the area with soft colorful fabrics.
Sounds
Carefully selected sounds serve two main purposes during a massage:
0 3 They add to the mood.
3 They mask other, distracting, sounds like traffic noises and TVs.
There are a number of really interesting ways to make sound a part of your
massage, and you may find that some massage pros carry an entire arsenal of
sound makers to add to their clients' experience. Some of my favorites
include:
3 Tibetan meditation bowls: These look like simple brass bowls, but
when you glide a wooden instrument along the rim, they sing out beauti-
fully with rich vibrant tones.
3 Ting shaks: Mother Tibetan invention, you strike these heavy brass
bells together to form a clear, long-lasting tone that sets a meditative
mood for a massage.
3 Gongs: Yes, miniature versions, complete with a little gong hammer, are
available.
3 Wind chimes: A classic in the relaxing-sounds category, there are liter-
ally thousands of types available. If you can't be near an open window to
hear the chimes, place them indoors near an oscillating fan to simulate
blowing breezes.
And, if all else fails ... earplugs work wonders. You can get them at your local
drugstore.
Water
You know those cute little burbling pots filled with rocks and miniature
waterfalls? You can find them in a lot of gift shops these days, and while they
are a tad overpriced, they definitely add a lot to the ambience of a massage. If
EFTA00008167

122
Part III: The Art of Giving Massage
you're the industrious type, you can overcome the price problem by building
a little indoor fountain for yourself. All it takes is a container, some rocks, and
a small submersible water pump.
Of course, being outside near a source of natural flowing water is a great
choice, too, but then you have to consider other details, such as tempera-
ture, rain, insects, and privacy.
One thing to remember — the sound of running water seems to have a power-
ful effect on the bladder. Make extra sure your partner visits the bathroom
before receiving a massage with a waterfall nearby.
Music
Music, of course, is the most popular type of sound used to complement mas-
sage. In most big spas, for example, they pump music directly into the
massage rooms from a central sound system, putting the guests in the right
mood to relax and unwind.
One massage manufacturing company built stereo speakers right into the
bed of a massage table so that when you lie down on it, the music literally
vibrates you. While this may be going a bit far, music is still the best and easi-
est way for you to include the element of sound in your massage.
An entire industry has sprung up to provide music appropriate for massage. If
you want to experience some of the most popular massage music, try putting
one of the following tapes or CDs on the next time you exchange a massage:
3 George Winston's December
3 Pachabel's Cannon
3 Deuter Ecstasy
3 Anything by Stephen Halpern
3 Brian Eno, Musk for Airports
3 Ray Lynch, Musk to Disappear Into
3 Enya, especially her Orinoco Flow CD
3 The Cowboy Junkies, Trinity Session (a personal, offbeat favorite)
3 Yanni, especially his In My Time
3 Any relaxing classical music •
Don't get the wrong idea here, though. Massage music doesn't necessarily
have to be flutes or harps or Yanni 'til you yawn. You can be creative in your
choices, and sometimes the best massages are given to the most unlikely
accompaniment. See the sidebar "Reggae massage."
EFTA00008168

Chapter 9: Massage Moods: Getting the Setting Right
23
4.tatm it
Reggae massage
One day whew! was in charge of the massage Gulp.
crew at-a large spa in-Florida, I suddenly was
When I arrived, the director had an expression
completely fed up with the droning of flutes,
of profound curiosity on her face. "Do you know
harps, and syrupy synthesizer music that poured
what was going on with the music in the mas-
endlessly out of the stereo speakers in each of
sage roomsthis afternoon?" she asked.
the 24 massage rooms. Heading to the sound
control room, I secretly exchanged the -well- "I... urn, well... "
worn New Age CDs for some-reggae discs with
"Because whatever itwas, the customers loved
distinctively upbeat sounds.
it. Two of them even wanted to know where they
It was the middle of a lazy, rainy afternoon. The could purchase a copy for themselves! Nobody
massage rooms were filled with customers who has ever asked that-before."
were all paying upwards of $5,000 per week to
Inas glad to be off the hook, and I was happyto
be there, and I wasn't sure exactly what the
know that most people seemed to agree-with
reactionwouldtbe. Would•the:customers com-
me on the subject of massage music. It doesn't
plain? Would I be fired?
always have to be so ... well, tranquilizing.
After just two hours, theverdict came in, and
someone passedine the message ... "Steve,
the spatirector wants to see you.inher. office."
As a final note about music, remember that the person receiving the massage
is always right. This includes being right about the choice of music, even if
that choice makes absolutely no sense to you. I had one client who always
insisted on receiving his massages to the accompaniment of the local rock &
roll radio station. Go figure.
Location location location
Once, in a typically cramped New York City apartment, I had to give a mas-
sage on the only available large flat surface, which turned out to be a wooden
dining room table. We lay a few blankets and pillows down on it, and I scur-
ried from side to side dodging walls and other furniture, but in the end my
client reported feeling quite comfortable, and he loved his massage. I wouldn't
recommend this, but it just goes to show that you definitely don't need a
fancy expensive massage table or a special peaceful room in your house in
order to give a good massage.
EFTA00008169

Part III: The Art of Giving Massage
24
You can comfortably give massages in any room, Including living rooms, bed-
rooms, family rooms, and as the story above points out, even the dining
room. There are a few issues you want to keep in mind, though, when decid-
ing where to give a massage:
3 Privacy: It's important to respect the level of privacy the person receiv-
ing the massage desires. If possible, choose a room where you can close
the doors to keep other people out. On the other hand, some people
actually prefer to be less private, and they are more comfortable in an
area with some activity.
3 Warmth: Avoid areas with a draft or air conditioning vent directly over-
head.
3 Intentions: It may be a good idea to avoid giving massage in a bedroom
if the person receiving is not your romantic partner. That way you avoid
possibly giving the wrong message.
3 Space: You need some space to maneuver around In — perhaps more
than you realize. Before you begin, make sure you have enough room on
all sides to move without disturbing your partner.
Privacy, please
When someone's receiving a massage, she wants to pretend that she's on a
secluded tropical isle, with no one else around for miles. She's a Polynesian
princess, the center of attention, and the person giving the massage is
focused on her and her alone. Exotic birds are floating overhead, and one
lone white sail puffs out on the aquamarine horizon ... then, suddenly, she
hears a voice: "Bart Just threw up on my homeworki"
Yes, it's difficult for your partner to achieve her ultimate romantic illusion if,
in real life, she's receiving her massage on the couch in your den, with The
Simpsons turned up full blast on the TV.
Do your partner a favor — indulge her in her illusions. While it's not always
possible to take a trip to Fiji to give your massage, you can avoid some of the
more obvious distractions quite easily:
3 Turn off the TV.
3 Put up a little "Do Not Disturb" sign.
3 Try to schedule the massage for a time when there are few interruptions.
3 Turn off the ringer on the phone and turn down the volume on the
answering machine.
EFTA00008170

Chapter 9: Massage Moods: Getting the Setting Right 125
The "massage mood"
What I've included in this chapter so far are the external aspects of the Inner
chamber. But, of course, when It comes to inner chambers, it's the inside that
counts, and that's what this section is about. Even if you find yourself in a
less-than-ideal situation to give massage, with distractions abounding, no
music to listen to, and not a candle in sight, you can still create the most
important aspect of that Inner chamber, the "massage mood."
When you first lay your hands upon someone else to give them a massage,
what do you have in your mind? Chances are, you're a little nervous, a little
uncertain of how the other person is going to receive you. And that's all right.
It means you care. But how about how she's feeling? You, as the giver, are in
charge of creating the optimal mood for her experience.
In order to create an appropriate mood for the other person, what you have
to do first is get into that mood yourself. By imagining yourself in one of the
following four personas as you begin a massage — saint, doctor, mother,
buddy — you can quickly adopt the mood that goes with it. Then, you can
give your partner something that comes from deep inside, creating the true
inner chamber.
Saint
Part of giving a good massage is having some simple compassion for the
person you're touching. We are, after all, in the same boat, each one of us
anchored to a fragile body in an uncertain world. You can reach out to others
when you massage them, crossing the barriers of separation, sending the
message that you understand how they feel. This is the golden rule of most
religions; touch others as you would have them touch you.
Doctor
If you're Just a beginner, you shouldn't be out there trying to "fix" your Aunt
Jeanne's sciatica with your massage techniques. However, it helps to think in
terms of helping the person feel better, not Just rubbing oil on. As you begin a
massage, imagine your hands filled with healing energy, communicating the
intention to soothe and make whole.
Mother
Who ever cared about us more than good ole Mom? She had a level of accep-
tance for our quirks and our shortcomings that was Just plain astounding.
You can aim that same kind of unconditional love toward your massage part-
ner (at least for that one hour), making him feel perfect just the way he is.
EFTA00008171

126
Part III: The Art of Giving Massage
Touching Jos6
(While volunteeringa t the University of Miarni with pleasure either like many massage clients
Medical Center AIDS ward, (discovered that do. Instead, he moaned with something deeper,
you can create. a caring compassionate "mas- almost like pain itself, and I knew immediately
sage mood" anywhere, even in a sterile what it was. All of the family members knew
hospital room. This is the storyof JosE, whom I what it was, too.
met there.)
Jose was letting out the primal moan of some-
On the bright Christmas Eve morning that we one who had not been touched for along time,
entered his room, Jose's body was wracked atthe point in his life when he most desperately
with pain, and he was curled.into a fetal posi- needed to be touched.
tion on his hospital bed. His family stood at the
Subtly, Jose pressed his back up into my hands.
foot of the bed arranged like a choir— mother,
I watched the family members lean forward, lift-
father, aunts, uncles, siblings, and friends. All of
ing their hands slightly, as if they too were
them•with their hands at their sides, standing
touching Jose, although they were too terrified
several feet away.
to do so themselves.
Jackson Memorial Hospital did not employ Rob
Slowly, I stroked down Jose's back, then back
Boyte, a nurse, and me, a massage therapist.
up again. His skin was cold, then hot in turns.
We were volunteers.with the P.A.LM.S. founda-
The family members stared hard at our hands.
tion, and we were there to touch Jose.
We were not wearing rubber gloves because
You see, nobody else would touch Jose we knew AIDS was not transmitted by skin-to-
because these were.the early days of AIDS and skin contact Everyone should have known it,
everyone was still afraid, even the doctors and but they didn't
the other nurses. Even the family members of
Slowly, Jose responded. His convulsions sub-
the victims were afraid. Everyone kept his
sided. He became quiet. For a few minutes,
distance.
everyone there could see that he was all
Jose had received a spinal tap the night before. wrapped up in the sensation of two other
Convulsions ran through his body, up to his head humans, four other hands, touching him, sooth-
and back down..He could only speak in broken, ing him, being with him in the way that only
grunted syllables. His family translated for us. CONTACT can provide.
"He says he wants the massage," said one Then it was time to go. The ward was filled with
relative. other patients on that Christmas Eve day. Rob
and I moved to the sink where we washed our
"He thinks itwould feel good," said another. "Go
hands with red disinfectant soap. We smiled at
ahead, try."
the family, and they smiled back at the two
We approached the bed. Both of us stood on the strangers who had just shared such an intimate
same side, facing Jose's exposed back. Rob moment
gently placed one large hand on the back of
We left the room and moved on. Then, a few
Jose's neck, not moving it at all. I touched him,
minutes later, we heard a gasp, a cry, then a
too. Jose didn't relax into the touch; he couldn't
high female wail come echoing down the white
because of the convulsions. He moaned, but not
EFTA00008172

Chapter 9: Massage Moods: Getting the Setting Right 127
tiled hospital corridor. The family came flowing I had become her hands and allowed her to do
out of Jose's room one by one, their eyes wild something she would never be able to do her-
with pain, filled with tears. One of the women self. Because now, it was too late.
looked straight into my soul then in that hallway
Nobody could touch Jose anymore.
for one brief second. What I saw in her eyes,
behind the pain, was gratitude. For a brief time,
Buddy
Don't let all this serious stuff about saints and doctors scare you away from
giving a massage. There's another, more lighthearted, giver's personality, too,
that of the buddy. You can Just hang out together and have some fun while
you're exchanging massage, and that's perfectly acceptable. Go ahead, put a
little reggae on the CD player. Tell a few Jokes to break the Ice. Relax and have
an easy conversation during the massage. Sometimes this Is the best choice
when your partner is apprehensive about receiving the massage.
The story in the sidebar "Touching Jose" is an example of how, when It
comes time to actually touch a human being, the buddy blends with the saint,
and the mother and doctor become two sides of the same coin.
Trading Places
It's not that difficult to find a professional massage therapist with whom you
can trade money for massage. Money seems to be a great motivational tool
when it comes to getting people to massage you. It can be very tricky, how-
ever, to find an amateur. By definition, you are not going to pay the amateur,
and therefore you must offer some other form of incentive to get him to give
the massage. Most frequently, this Incentive comes in the form of a reciprocal
massage. But what if that is not enough to motivate your partner?
I'm trying not to be sexist here, but statistical evidence suggests that one
gender in particular has motivational problems when it comes to giving mas-
sage. Yes, I'm talking about males, 95% of whom, when asked by their loving
partners to give a massage, develop an instantaneous and very debilitating
case of temporary-fatigue-syndrome (TFS). Even the thought of moving just a
pinkie finger suddenly makes them feel very tilled. As soon as the request for
massage is withdrawn, however, they bounce back incredibly fast and can
often be observed playing touch football just moments later.
EFTA00008173

12 8
Part III: The Art of Giving Massage
Here are some ways to motivate a partner who is the unfortunate victim
of TM:
e 3 Suggest to him that his love life might suffer dire consequences unless
he gives you a massage.
3 Suggest to him that his love life could be greatly enhanced were he to be
so kind as to give you a full hour massage.
3 In exchange for the massage, offer to let him go shopping at his favorite
store (camping store, hardware store, computer store, or whatever his
cute little male fixation may be) and don't bug him about spending
money there.
3 If he agrees to massage you at least three times, let him pick the destina-
tion for your next vacation (yes, even if it's bass fishing on Lake
Okeechobee).
Your mate is not the only person with whom you can form a massage-trade
relationship. Other potential partners include:
3 Somebody who practices massage professionally (it may surprise you
how many pros don't receive massage nearly as often as they'd like —
your offer to trade, although you're less experienced, is likely to be met
with considerable enthusiasm).
3 Members of your church
3 Members of your family
3 Friends of the family
3 Members of a sports team you're on
may be challenging at first to find a way to be comfortable trading mas-
sages. It's an admittedly intimate form of sharing, and not everyone takes to
right away. One good alternative to jumping straight into a full body mas-
sage is to try some seated massage with the clothes still on. You may find
plenty of non-threatening options in the chapters to come.
EFTA00008174

Chapter 10
All The Right Moves
In This Chapter
p Finding out about contraindications
0. Building your massage muscles
I> Doing the moves
D Exploring massage gizmos
• 0 • 0 0 0 • • 0 OOOOOOOOO 0 0 • • 0 0 • OOOOOOOOOOOO 0 0 • 0 0 0 0 • 0 • • 0
yes,
this is the chapter where you'll find all those massage moves that
you can use to turn your everyday, ordinary hands into instruments of
irresistible pleasure. Your fingertips and palms will be sought after by friends,
family, co-workers, and complete strangers alike. Everybody will say, "Use
some of those moves on me! Me me me me me!"
Then, inflated by your newfound abilities and the quick expertise you acquire
in these pages, you may find yourself thinking, like many of us did in the
beginning, that these neat new massage moves you've learned actually are
the massage itself. But you'd be wrong! Oh yes, very wrong.
Massage moves are not the massage; they're just the medium.
Let me give you an analogy to help explain this:
Learning massage is like learning to play a musical instrument. The moves in
this chapter are the notes on the scale, plus some basic chords and combina-
tions. They're great ways to warm up your fingers and make some
rudimentary noises, but if you continue to play them over and over again,
you're going to drive the people close to you crazy.
In massage, you have to go beyond the moves pretty quickly. You need to
develop a "moveless movement," or "flow," in which you're concentrating not
on your own technique, but on your partner's feelings, her sensations, and
her reactions, just like a musician who forgets all about notes and scales,
sharps and flats, and even the instrument itself. Your movements are the
technique, the body you massage is the instrument, and it's the interaction
between the two that makes the music.
EFTA00008175

130
Part III: The Art of Giving Massage
Massage is the music, the communication, the thing that you create, NOT the
movements required to produce the sensations.
Whoa! Getting a little deep here, aren't we? Sorry about that. Don't worry—
the rest of this chapter's going to be very practical and concrete. After all,
you still have to learn your scales before you can play Carnegie Hall.
Don't Do It, Mon!
Just like the Jamaican bobsled team, you may be all fired up to go out and
practice your new moves. Before you jump off the cliff and begin massaging
away recklessly on anybody who lets you near them, however, stop for a
moment to consider some sage words of advice about:
3 Conditions that you should NOT treat
3 Places you should AVOID touching
3 Moves you should NOT make
Contraindications
As innocuous as massage may seem, there are still times when you should
refrain from giving one because it may adversely affect a health condition of
the person who receives it. Contraindications is the medical term for these
conditions, a word which, when you look at it closely, obviously means
"Nicaraguan rebel indications." No, really, "contra" means against, as in con-
trary, and indications are things that tell you what to do one way or the other.
So contraindications are things that are telling you not to do something.
The list of contraindications for massage may be longer than you expect, and
it includes some conditions that at first glance don't seem like massage
would affect at all. Take a look:
3 Fever. When you have a fever, your body is trying to isolate and expel an
invader of some kind. Massage increases overall circulation and could
therefore work against your body's natural defenses.
3 Inflammation: Massage can further irritate an area of inflammation, so
you should not administer It. Inflamed conditions include anything that
ends in -ids, such as phlebitis (inflammation of a vein), dermatitis
(inflammation of the skin), arthritis (inflammation of the Joints), and so
on. In the case of localized problems, you can still massage around
them, however, avoiding the inflammation itself.
EFTA00008176

Chapter 10: All the Right Moves
131
3 High blood pressure: High blood pressure means excessive pressure
against blood vessel walls. Massage affects the blood vessels, and so
people with high blood pressure or a heart condition should receive
light, sedating massages, If at all.
3 Infectious &sews: Massage is not a good idea for someone coming
down with the flu or diphtheria, for example, and to make matters
worse, you expose yourself to the virus as well.
3 Hernia: Hernias are protrusions of part of an organ (such as the
intestines) through a muscular wall. It's not a good idea to try and push
these organs back inside. Surgery works better.
3 Osteoporosis: Elderly people with a severe stoop to the shoulders often
have this condition, in which bones become porous, brittle, and fragile.
Massage may be too intense for this condition.
3 Varicose veins: Massage directly over varicose veins can worsen the
problem. However, if you apply a very light massage next to the prob-
lem, always in a direction toward the heart, it can be very beneficial.
3 Broken bones: Stay away from an area of mending bones. A little light
massage to the surrounding areas, though, can improve circulation and
be quite helpful.
3 Skin problems: You should avoid anything that looks like It shouldn't be
there, such as rashes, wounds, bruises, burns, boils, and blisters, for
example. Usually these problems are local, so you can still massage in
other areas
3 Cancer: Cancer can spread through the lymphatic system, and because
massage increases lymphatic circulation, it may potentially spread the
disease as well. Simple, caring touch is fine, but massage strokes that
stimulate circulation are not. Always check with a doctor first.
3 Other conditions and diseases: Diabetes, asthma, and other serious
conditions each have their own precautions, and you should get a
doctor's OK before administering massage.
3 HIV infection: Some people still think of AIDS as something that can be
"caught" through simple skin-to-skin contact, but most of us know that's
not the case. If there is no exchange of bodily fluids (blood, semen, vagi-
nal fluids, or mother's milk), HIV can't be transmitted during massage.
So, HIV infection is not contraindicated for this reason. However, some
of the infections that people suffering from the later stages of AIDS expe-
rience are contraindicated, and you should avoid those infections.
Loving, soothing contact is extremely important for people at any stage
of infection, but in the case of any visible rashes, sores, lesions, or
swelling, massage is best left to a professional. If you have any cuts or
scrapes or scratches on your hands, it's an especially good idea to wear
thin surgical gloves while massaging an HiV-infected person with any
signs of open lesions.
EFTA00008177

132
Part III: The Art of Giving Massage
0 3 Pregnancy: Most women love to receive massage during pregnancy, and
it's perfectly fine to give them one, but there are a few precautions to
observe. See the sidebar about pregnancy later in this chapter.
Just a minute here! All this makes It sound like you practically have to get a
medical checkup and an OK from the doctor before giving someone a mas-
sage, doesn't it? Well, in many cases, that's exactly what it means. Always err
on the side of caution when you're considering giving a massage to a person
with any health concerns. Check it out with his or her physician first.
The first and foremost rule here is, "Do no harm." If you're not sure about a
particular condition, don't give the massage.
Bad moves
%NG/ Ever watch an infant pet a cat? They often have the best of intentions, but
they just can't seem to get it right. Wham! Wham! goes the beefy little hand
on top of the cat's head, and the poor feline scurries away before the Infant
does any serious damage. Similarly, there are moves that you should not
make during a massage, no matter how good your Intentions are. They all
cause discomfort, and some of them may even cause harm.
Pregnancy — a contraindication?
There are some people who believe that 3 Only light gliding strokes should be used
pregnant women should not receive massage. directly on the abdomen. Don't press
Most of these people, needless to say, are not directly onto or knead in this area.
pregnant women, whose backs and legs are
ao Always give soothing, relaxing massage
oftenquite sore, and who love massage. There's
moves, never heavy ordeep.
a section in Chapter 18 on this topic, but for now
I want to put your mind at ease and say that it's 3 Avoid the ankles and heels betause,
perfectly okay to massage a pregnant woman, according to the theory of reflexology, the
as long as you observe a few simple precautiOns: heels contain special points that may stim-
ulate labor. Going into labor during a
3 Always make sure her legs and head are
massage is not recommended. Chapter 14
supported with pillows.
has more info and a diagram showing the
3 Never put her in a face-down position to location of these reflexology points.
massage her. In her last trimester, she
should lie only on her side.
EFTA00008178